The weekend is for handling a bunch of bills and chores and boring things I keep putting off, all while resenting having to do those things on my days off. You know what’s more fun? Video games.

The weekend is for making my second attempt at roasting a chicken, as my first attempt many years ago was a stunning failure. I look forward to failing again, and then consoling myself with video games.

The weekend is for yours truly filling in for our usual weekend editor Cameron. I will be playing Don’t Just Write About The Witcher 3, and probably its sequel, Why Did I Write About The Witcher 3 So Much.

The weekend is for starting Red Dead Redemption 2 because you fell asleep before it launched last night, because you are an old man.

The weekend is for having knocked a window curtain down this morning and, while trying to put it back up, realizing it’s ridiculous you still use the last tenant’s curtains and determining to go buy new curtains. Also, video games.

The weekend is for being pretty pumped about how it’s suddenly become fall in New York, and also regretting that I neglected to get my coat cleaned before it turned coat weather. The weekend is also for video games.

The weekend is for reorganizing my kitchen because I spent too long looking at stuff on the Container Store website and now I feel like I could be a better person if my flour was in a see-through storage container instead of a torn bag. The weekend is also for getting overwhelmed by that task and playing video games…

The weekend is for finally getting some alone time after weeks of travel and house guests, which means drinking whiskey in the bath while watching Anthony Bourdain episodes. Also, video games.

The weekend is for coming back from being away and dealing with the bag of lettuce you left in the crisper all week. Blugh. Also, video games.

The weekend is for binge-watching BoJack Horseman, but since I have a Switch, I can play games while I do it!

Here’s a fun fact about me: I was born without a sense of smell. Here’s a fun fact I learned today: people like to smell their physical video games. Help me square these two facts, readers.

The weekend is for trying to decide if I should get someone to water my plant while I’m away or just water it a lot before I leave and hope for the best. It’s also for playing video games.

The weekend is for having a three-day weekend, the established Correct Amount of Weekend. That’s enough time to do lots of things and also play video games.

It’s been a hell of a week, readers, but we’ve made it to the weekend. I have very big plans of doing nothing but running in the very nice weather, cooking (hopefully) tasty food out of the host of cookbooks I’ve bought recently, and playing a lot of video games.

The weekend is for finally making that pasta dish you spent all week planning to make but then kept ordering delicious takeout instead. Also, video games.

The weekend is for needing to run four more miles by Sunday to meet the goal my running app set for me, because arbitrary goals are very satisfying. Also, video games.

The weekend is for going to the botanical garden near my house to admire all the cool plants I would probably kill if I owned them. Also, video games.

My young niece is visiting this weekend, and I’m really excited to introduce her to a ton of cool games she can then annoy her mom by asking for. What should they be?

The weekend is for trying to make my apartment look super cool so my niece is really impressed when she and my sister come to visit next week. It’s also for playing video games.

The weekend is for making the heck out of this slow cooker peach cobbler from our excellent sister site The Takeout. Using the slow cooker means you can bake and play video games at the same time!