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Reviews
I Didn’t Mean to Kill You, Beautiful Xenosaga Statue
Of all theGathering statues from e2406.com I’vereviewed, I was most looking forward to their gorgeous 20-inch rendition of Xenosaga‘s T-elos. Some role-players prefer Kos-Mos, but my heart was always with this dark-and-deadly Mary Magdalene cyborg. In the game she nearly took down the entire party all by her lonesome. I took her out with a…
By Mike Fahey -
ReviewsTaco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos Tacos: The Snacktaku Review
Oh taco, sweet taco — in terms of pure convenience there is no finer food. Savory meat, vegetables and spice wrapped lovingly in corn or flour, the taco’s greatest strength is the edible container you hold in your hand. From the finest restaurants, the shadiest street vendor or a fast food chain that’s been bastardizing…
By Mike Fahey -
ReviewsThree Colors Combine to Form the Finest Sheep Shooter Ever
Red, green and blue — these are the primary colors, which can be mixed together in varying amounts to create every color of the visible spectrum. I learned this in my grade school art program. At the time I was convinced the teacher made it up to cover for the fact that they only had…
By Mike Fahey -
Reviews
The Conduit Was an Average Wii Game. Now It’s an Excellent Mobile FPS.
Released in 2009 for the Nintendo Wii, The Conduit was a “bland, but enjoyable” sci-fi first-person shooter with an interesting puzzle-solving twist. I wasn’t a big fan — I only made it through the first two levels before becoming frustrated with the Wii motion controls and giving up. Now the game is out for Tegra-powered…
By Mike Fahey -
Reviews
Dead Space 3: Awakened: The Kotaku Review
I’m having a hard time remembering Dead Space 3 It’s not that I’ve recently become afflicted with amnesia or anything like that. I just don’t find the game all that memorable. If you read my review, you’ll know that I had my share of gripes with the third title in what was previously known to…
By Tina Amini -
Reviews
Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm 3: The Kotaku Review
After nearly a decade of playing Naruto video games, that annoying little jerk of a ninja unleashes his most powerful move yet — making me cry. God I hate him. The creation of manga artist Masashi Kishimoto, Naruto began as a one-shot comic strip and grew into one of the best-selling manga series of all-time.…
By Mike Fahey -
ReviewsMarshmallow Peeps: The Snacktaku Review
I believe it was the bard Rayvon, performing in the poet Shaggy’s seminal work, who said “Closer than my Peeps you are to me, baby.” While this writer still hopes to provoke a resurgence of popularity for that classic piece, future generations will condemn “Angel” for that single, unfortunate line. Nothing can be closer than…
By Mike Fahey -
Reviews
Major League Baseball 2K13: The Kotaku Review
Major League Baseball 2K13 is an offensively recycled product and an embarrassment to sports video games. In my five years as Kotaku‘s sports writer, I’ve spent a good deal of time in comments defending the genre, and those who make its games, from the worn-out slur that annual sports titles are nothing but reskinned roster…
By Owen Good -
Reviews
Finally an Original Mobile Game That Plays to Sonic the Hedgehog‘s Greatest Strength
When Sega’s Hardlight Studio released Sonic Jump last year, I shook my head. Jumping is not the ability Sonic the Hedgehog is known for. This week Hardlight has released endless runner Sonic Dash on iOS. That’s more like it. How do you make a good 3D Sonic the Hedgehog game? You take a bad one…
By Mike Fahey -
ReviewsSimCity: The Kotaku Review
To many fans of the original city building simulation series, the idea of an online multiplayer game that required even solo players to be connected to the internet at all times seemed like a recipe for disaster. Maxis’ latest creation is easily the most compelling SimCity I’ve played since the 1989 original. Update: Final verdict…
By Mike Fahey -
Reviews
MLB 13 The Show: The Kotaku Review
The oldest memory I have is of catching a baseball. Coming from a sports fan, this may sound like treacly, lump-in-your-throat stuff, but it’s true. I was three years old. My father was mowing one side of our front lawn, I was standing in the other, and I underhanded a pop fly into the air.…
By Owen Good
