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Reviews
Army of Two: The Devil’s Cartel: The Kotaku Review
Army of Two: The Devil’s Cartel drifts in a Lagrangian point of video game mediocrity. No force pulls it toward being a contemptible or even bad effort, but nothing budges it into the orbit of entertainment, even as a guilty pleasure, either. Its experiences are the most indistinct I’ve ever had in the wide world…
By Owen Good -
Reviews
Oreo Mega Stuf Cookies: The Snacktaku Review
I’m perfectly capable of making myself sick without your help, Nabisco. Available for a limited time only, Oreo’s Mega Stuff cookies are an answer to the marketing-powered imaginary war going on between fans who enjoy Oreos for the cookie, and those who prefer the creme in the middle. Which side will come out on top?…
By Mike Fahey -
Reviews
Nimble Quest Would Make One Hell of a Final Fantasy Game
Back in January, Square Enix released Final Fantasy: All the Bravest, a game about getting as many Final Fantasy character sprites on the screen at one time while finding creative new ways for players to pay for things It wasn’t a very good game. What Square Enix should have done was make Nimble Quest, the…
By Mike Fahey -
ReviewsRazer Edge Pro PC Gaming Tablet: The Kotaku Review
Like many PC gamers, I’ve often wished a machine capable of putting the power of a gaming rig in a portable device. Gaming laptops are lovely and have their place, but that place is often on top of a desk. After a week with Razer’s new Edge gaming tablet, I realize what I really wanted…
By Mike Fahey -
ReviewsThis “Pegformer” Delivers One New Way to Move, Many New Ways to Die
When developer First5 Games were looking for a fresh method of movement for their new platforming game, they found inspiration in those old Wacky Wall Crawler toys you’d get for a quarter out of supermarket vending machines as a kid. You know, the ones with all the sticky legs? I used to tear off their…
By Mike Fahey -
ReviewsFetch Could Have Been an Animated Feature. Instead It’s an Utterly Charming iPad Game.
You could search the iTunes app store for days and not come close to finding a game with the charm and polish of Big FishGames’ Fetch. It’s an animated movie come to life, an adventure riddled with arcade action wrapped around a warm beating heart. It’s the story of a boy and his dog. While…
By Mike Fahey -
ReviewsTiger Woods PGA Tour 14: The Kotaku Review
The Mashie. The Brassie. The Cleek. Why, oh why, did golf abandon these delightful club names for bland old 5 iron, No. 2 wood, and 2 iron, or, worse, driver names like that sound like energy drinks. When I whipped out my baffing spoon and eagled No. 4 on Augusta National’s 1934 layout, I could…
By Owen Good -
Reviews
I Didn’t Mean to Kill You, Beautiful Xenosaga Statue
Of all theGathering statues from e2406.com I’vereviewed, I was most looking forward to their gorgeous 20-inch rendition of Xenosaga‘s T-elos. Some role-players prefer Kos-Mos, but my heart was always with this dark-and-deadly Mary Magdalene cyborg. In the game she nearly took down the entire party all by her lonesome. I took her out with a…
By Mike Fahey -
ReviewsTaco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos Tacos: The Snacktaku Review
Oh taco, sweet taco — in terms of pure convenience there is no finer food. Savory meat, vegetables and spice wrapped lovingly in corn or flour, the taco’s greatest strength is the edible container you hold in your hand. From the finest restaurants, the shadiest street vendor or a fast food chain that’s been bastardizing…
By Mike Fahey -
ReviewsThree Colors Combine to Form the Finest Sheep Shooter Ever
Red, green and blue — these are the primary colors, which can be mixed together in varying amounts to create every color of the visible spectrum. I learned this in my grade school art program. At the time I was convinced the teacher made it up to cover for the fact that they only had…
By Mike Fahey -
Reviews
The Conduit Was an Average Wii Game. Now It’s an Excellent Mobile FPS.
Released in 2009 for the Nintendo Wii, The Conduit was a “bland, but enjoyable” sci-fi first-person shooter with an interesting puzzle-solving twist. I wasn’t a big fan — I only made it through the first two levels before becoming frustrated with the Wii motion controls and giving up. Now the game is out for Tegra-powered…
By Mike Fahey -
Reviews
Dead Space 3: Awakened: The Kotaku Review
I’m having a hard time remembering Dead Space 3 It’s not that I’ve recently become afflicted with amnesia or anything like that. I just don’t find the game all that memorable. If you read my review, you’ll know that I had my share of gripes with the third title in what was previously known to…
By Tina Amini -
Reviews
Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm 3: The Kotaku Review
After nearly a decade of playing Naruto video games, that annoying little jerk of a ninja unleashes his most powerful move yet — making me cry. God I hate him. The creation of manga artist Masashi Kishimoto, Naruto began as a one-shot comic strip and grew into one of the best-selling manga series of all-time.…
By Mike Fahey
