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ReviewsGone Home: The Kotaku Review
Our haunts say things about us: what we care about, what we value, what type of person we are. Sometimes, we want people to know certain stuff about us, and we decorate our spaces for specific effect. And sometimes, if we’re not careful about our personal spaces, they can say more about us than we…
By Patricia Hernandez Published August 15, 2013 -
Reviews
Plants Vs. Zombies 2 Is Free-To-Play That’s Better Without Paying
You can spend five dollars in Plants Vs. Zombies 2: It’s About Time to advance from Ancient Egypt to the Pirate Seas. You can unlock enhancements with cash, or use your real money to purchase in-game currency, stocking up on power-ups and using them to blow through every level. Or just keep your money and…
By Mike Fahey Published August 15, 2013 -
Reviews
This Avengers Hulk Figure Will Smash You
“Hulk smash!” Seriously, those were my first words upon opening the box containing my latest Hot Toys treasure. As those who have been following know, I’ve been collecting whatever Movie Masterpiece Avengers figures released from the Hong Kong collectible toy company that I can. While I’m missing a couple of side characters and my Iron…
By Toshi Nakamura Published August 15, 2013 -
ReviewsDishonored: The Brigmore Witches: The Kotaku Review
Dunwall is a hard city full of hard people—a plague-rotted concrete prison inhabited by exhausted souls who regularly seem shocked that they’re still alive. It’s easy to forget, while stalking rooftops and slashing your way through Dishonored‘s starring city, that Dunwall only exists when you’re in it. No people reside here; there are no homes…
By Jason Schreier Published August 13, 2013 -
ReviewsPayday 2: The Kotaku Review
The plan was to play it by the books: mask up, get in, get out. Grab six bags of cash, more if we’re feeling confident. We’d go in through the back, it’s easy to lockpick that door. I’d take point, ’cause I can talk patrolling guards down; no shooting required….but we’ll put silencers on our…
By Patricia Hernandez Published August 13, 2013 -
Reviews
Mario & Luigi: Dream Team: The Kotaku Review
Poor Luigi. Mario’s lanky counterpart is most often defined not by his own merits, but by his proximity to his elder brother. Even in 2013, a year that Nintendo has branded “The Year of Luigi,” the green plumber is more punchline than protagonist, complete with Chaplinesque antics and a tendency to cower behind Mario during…
By Jason Schreier Published August 11, 2013 -
ReviewsWe’d Be Happier People If We Lived In This Colorful, Blocky Paradise
What could possibly be more welcome than colorful geometric shapes with corners gently rounded for virtual safety? How about if they had googly eyes? What if they could come to life? What if you breathed life into the inhabitants of this bright and innocent Blocksworld? Doesn’t that sound like a pleasant sort of god to…
By Mike Fahey Published August 6, 2013 -
ReviewsDragon’s Crown: The Kotaku Review
Vanillaware’s tribute to classic side-scrolling action role-playing games has garnered a lot of attention over the past few years for its exaggerated, overly-sexualized character designs. An hour into playing the actual game, I stopped noticing. Those designs don’t go away, of course. There isn’t a piece of equipment in the game capable of covering up…
By Mike Fahey Published August 6, 2013 -
ReviewsPikmin 3: The Kotaku Review(s)
I can’t review Pikmin 3 just once. I won’t. I’m going to review it seven times. Before I get to the reviewing, though, let me do some explaining. In case you don’t know. Pikmin games are made by Nintendo and were dreamt up by Shigeru Miyamoto, the man credited with inventing Mario and Zelda. Pikmin…
By Stephen Totilo Published August 4, 2013 -
Reviews
Book Review: To Understand Next-Gen Consoles, Look To The Dreamcast
As E3 made abundantly clear, we are on the cusp of the transition to a new console generation. What consoles can do, how they are made, and what they are used for are topics of constant discussion. But the machinations of how a console is put together are unclear to the public. People often conflate…
By Darius Kazemi Published July 30, 2013 -
ReviewsPopeyes Chicken Waffle Tenders: The Snacktaku Review
Did you really think I’d let July 29 go by without a review of the most exciting fast food item to hit the market since something really exciting I can’t think of right now? I sure didn’t. I am horribly sick, and not just mentally. My whole body aches, I am in and out of…
By Mike Fahey Published July 29, 2013 -
ReviewsIt’s Hard To Play Square’s Vampire Game When The Hero’s This Sexy
While an Unreal Engine 3-powered vampire hunting period piece set in an alternate 19th century Paris may sound pretty compelling, the coolest thing about Square Enix’s Bloodmasque is facial mapping technology console developers gave up on years ago. Seriously, look at my character. Those partial black-framed glasses; the beard that stops before his chin; those…
By Mike Fahey Published July 25, 2013 -
ReviewsLeisure Suit Larry: Reloaded: The Kotaku Review
Sex was gross, unknowable and weird. Yet, for some reason, I was supposed to want it. These were the lessons I learned from Leisure Suit Larry way back when, which I had no business playing as a teenager. In 2013, the updated sex/comedy game still feels like something I shouldn’t be experiencing. But, this time,…
By Evan Narcisse Published July 22, 2013 -
ReviewsShin Megami Tensei IV: The Kotaku Review
My favorite character in Shin Megami Tensei IV didn’t make the front cover of the North American release. She’s not one of the samurai warriors tasked with keeping the world’s demons in check. She’s not technically even a real person, much less a she. Her name is Burroughs, and she’s the keeper of the menus.…
By Mike Fahey Published July 15, 2013 -
ReviewsRuffles Crispy Fries: The Snacktaku National French Fry Day Review
You didn’t realize tomorrow is National French Fry Day, did you? How come you always forget the yearly nationwide celebration of fried potato sticks, but a major corporation like Frito-Lay preps ahead of time, rolling out a brand-new Ruffles product to coincide with the holiday? Oh don’t give me that commercial holiday bullshit. Tomorrow is…
By Mike Fahey Published July 12, 2013 -
ReviewsCivilization V: Brave New World: The Kotaku Review
There are those who feel that Civilization V, as it was first released, was a little thin. The game’s first expansion, Gods & Kings, addressed some of that criticism. Its second, Brave New World, transforms the game into one of the best the PC has ever seen. It does the things you’d expect from a…
By Luke Plunkett Published July 8, 2013 -
ReviewsNCAA Football 14: The Kotaku Review
The meanest thing I ever did in high school I did to a senior on the football team. His teammates were in my computer class, snickering about his hope of playing big time ACC football. I was a scrawny sophomore trying to be popular. I helped them forge some Clemson letterhead, and signed it “Head…
By Owen Good Published July 5, 2013 -
ReviewsOuya: The Kotaku Review
If I was writing a book of personal gaming records, I’d mark up a page for the Ouya: New console that stayed in the box, unplayed, longer than any other one I’ve ever had. Three days. Sealed. No urgency to play the tiniest console I’ve ever seen. It’s so tiny, yet I still wasn’t sure…
By Stephen Totilo Published July 3, 2013 -
ReviewsThe New Razer Blade Ultra-Thin Gaming Laptop: The Kotaku Review
At a mere .66 inches thick and powerful enough to capably handle some of the most demanding games on the market, Razer’s new 14-inch Blade might be the coolest piece of equipment I’ve ever played a PC game on. It’s certainly the hottest. Once known for its mid-to-high-end gaming peripherals, Razer has gotten to a…
By Mike Fahey Published July 2, 2013 -
ReviewsLollyphile Gourmet Lollipops: The Snacktaku Review
Simple yet elegant, seductive while at the same time innocent, the lollipop is one of the true icons of the candy snacking world. It deserves the star treatment, which is exactly what San Francisco-born, Austin-raised candy company Lollyphile delivers. Lollipops have come a long way since sweet-cravers in the Middle Ages dipped sticks in boiled…
By Mike Fahey Published July 2, 2013