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Reviews
Nimble Quest Would Make One Hell of a Final Fantasy Game
Back in January, Square Enix released Final Fantasy: All the Bravest, a game about getting as many Final Fantasy character sprites on the screen at one time while finding creative new ways for players to pay for things It wasn’t a very good game. What Square Enix should have done was make Nimble Quest, the…
By Mike Fahey Published March 29, 2013 -
ReviewsRazer Edge Pro PC Gaming Tablet: The Kotaku Review
Like many PC gamers, I’ve often wished a machine capable of putting the power of a gaming rig in a portable device. Gaming laptops are lovely and have their place, but that place is often on top of a desk. After a week with Razer’s new Edge gaming tablet, I realize what I really wanted…
By Mike Fahey Published March 28, 2013 -
ReviewsThis “Pegformer” Delivers One New Way to Move, Many New Ways to Die
When developer First5 Games were looking for a fresh method of movement for their new platforming game, they found inspiration in those old Wacky Wall Crawler toys you’d get for a quarter out of supermarket vending machines as a kid. You know, the ones with all the sticky legs? I used to tear off their…
By Mike Fahey Published March 27, 2013 -
ReviewsFetch Could Have Been an Animated Feature. Instead It’s an Utterly Charming iPad Game.
You could search the iTunes app store for days and not come close to finding a game with the charm and polish of Big FishGames’ Fetch. It’s an animated movie come to life, an adventure riddled with arcade action wrapped around a warm beating heart. It’s the story of a boy and his dog. While…
By Mike Fahey Published March 26, 2013 -
ReviewsTiger Woods PGA Tour 14: The Kotaku Review
The Mashie. The Brassie. The Cleek. Why, oh why, did golf abandon these delightful club names for bland old 5 iron, No. 2 wood, and 2 iron, or, worse, driver names like that sound like energy drinks. When I whipped out my baffing spoon and eagled No. 4 on Augusta National’s 1934 layout, I could…
By Owen Good Published March 26, 2013 -
Reviews
I Didn’t Mean to Kill You, Beautiful Xenosaga Statue
Of all theGathering statues from e2406.com I’vereviewed, I was most looking forward to their gorgeous 20-inch rendition of Xenosaga‘s T-elos. Some role-players prefer Kos-Mos, but my heart was always with this dark-and-deadly Mary Magdalene cyborg. In the game she nearly took down the entire party all by her lonesome. I took her out with a…
By Mike Fahey Published March 25, 2013 -
ReviewsTaco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos Tacos: The Snacktaku Review
Oh taco, sweet taco — in terms of pure convenience there is no finer food. Savory meat, vegetables and spice wrapped lovingly in corn or flour, the taco’s greatest strength is the edible container you hold in your hand. From the finest restaurants, the shadiest street vendor or a fast food chain that’s been bastardizing…
By Mike Fahey Published March 25, 2013 -
ReviewsThree Colors Combine to Form the Finest Sheep Shooter Ever
Red, green and blue — these are the primary colors, which can be mixed together in varying amounts to create every color of the visible spectrum. I learned this in my grade school art program. At the time I was convinced the teacher made it up to cover for the fact that they only had…
By Mike Fahey Published March 25, 2013 -
ReviewsBioShock Infinite: The Kotaku Review
Depending on where in the country you live, you might have the nagging feeling that portions of the United States have broken clean off. Just up and decided to veer into their own orbits, consequences be damned. And, because any notion that these States aren’t United is a really uncomfortable one, a cacophony of voices…
By Evan Narcisse Published March 25, 2013 -
ReviewsLuigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon: The Kotaku Review
Poor Luigi, always in Mario’s shadow. Even when Luigi set off on his own ghost-wrangling adventure in Luigi’s Mansion over a decade ago, it was still as though he was defined by Mario’s absence. The game dedicated a whole button to calling out Mario’s name! In the new 3DS sequel Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon, the…
By Patricia Hernandez Published March 22, 2013 -
ReviewsThe Walking Dead: Survival Instinct Is The Worst Game I’ve Played This Year
The wonderful zombie film Shaun of the Dead starts out with a running gag where it’s clear that a zombie apocalypse is going on, but the heroes don’t notice. As they walk down the street, we can see obscured scenes of undead carnage in the background, but Shaun is too wrapped up in his girlfriend-troubles…
By Kirk Hamilton Published March 20, 2013 -
Reviews
Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days Does Not Make for an Enjoyable Film
The HD collection Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 Remix contains an HD remastered version of the original Kingdom Hearts: Final Mix and Kingdom Hearts Re:Chain of Memories. Also included in this package is a remastering of Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days. However, unlike the other two parts of the collection, this HD version of 358/2 Days is…
By Richard Eisenbeis Published March 19, 2013 -
ReviewsGears of War: Judgment: The Kotaku Review
Our Gears of War: Judgment review has been updated with a multiplayer segment as well as an overall verdict on the game (finally). To sum: you might have a better time picking up Gears of War 3 instead. A good soldier doesn’t always follow orders—not if he or she wants to get the job done.…
By Patricia Hernandez Published March 18, 2013 -
Reviews
The Conduit Was an Average Wii Game. Now It’s an Excellent Mobile FPS.
Released in 2009 for the Nintendo Wii, The Conduit was a “bland, but enjoyable” sci-fi first-person shooter with an interesting puzzle-solving twist. I wasn’t a big fan — I only made it through the first two levels before becoming frustrated with the Wii motion controls and giving up. Now the game is out for Tegra-powered…
By Mike Fahey Published March 14, 2013 -
Reviews
Lego City Undercover: The Kotaku Review
It’s an excellent, brand-new year-one Wii U game. It’s simultaneously safe for kids and yet more or less Lego Grand Theft Auto—with you as a cop rather than a crook. It’s the best Lego game of the 10 I’ve played, though it’s not going to win any awards for progressive game design. And it’s got…
By Stephen Totilo Published March 14, 2013 -
Reviews
Dead Space 3: Awakened: The Kotaku Review
I’m having a hard time remembering Dead Space 3 It’s not that I’ve recently become afflicted with amnesia or anything like that. I just don’t find the game all that memorable. If you read my review, you’ll know that I had my share of gripes with the third title in what was previously known to…
By Tina Amini Published March 13, 2013 -
Reviews
Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm 3: The Kotaku Review
After nearly a decade of playing Naruto video games, that annoying little jerk of a ninja unleashes his most powerful move yet — making me cry. God I hate him. The creation of manga artist Masashi Kishimoto, Naruto began as a one-shot comic strip and grew into one of the best-selling manga series of all-time.…
By Mike Fahey Published March 13, 2013 -
ReviewsStarCraft II: Heart of the Swarm: The Kotaku Review
Near the beginning of StarCraft II: Heart of the Swarm, as the noble pirate Jim Raynor and the psychic-soldier-turned-evil-Zerg-queen-turned-confused-human Sarah Kerrigan are escaping from a squad of invading marines, Kerrigan picks up a gun. “Been a long time,” she says. “Like riding a bike,” Raynor says. Kerrigan walks over. Kisses Raynor smack on the lips.…
By Jason Schreier Published March 12, 2013 -
ReviewsGod of War Ascension: The Kotaku Review
For the first four and a half hours of the new God of War, you’d be forgiven for thinking that the game was made by malfunctioning robots. They were given the God of War formula and with swiveling clamp-hands, they made what is technically a God of War game. Kratos is angry! Chain-blades must be…
By Stephen Totilo Published March 12, 2013 -
ReviewsMarshmallow Peeps: The Snacktaku Review
I believe it was the bard Rayvon, performing in the poet Shaggy’s seminal work, who said “Closer than my Peeps you are to me, baby.” While this writer still hopes to provoke a resurgence of popularity for that classic piece, future generations will condemn “Angel” for that single, unfortunate line. Nothing can be closer than…
By Mike Fahey Published March 11, 2013