Mike Fahey

Tera‘s Player-Versus-Player Battlegrounds Open August 22

With August 22nd’s Argon Queen update for Tera I’ll finally be able to focus my adorable rage on other players without having to deal with that silly party fight system thing they were using. Hooray for battlegrounds! I am not a PVP player normally, but I make the odd exception. Prior to next week’s update,…

Valve’s Doug Lombardi confirms the developer will not be showing Half-Life3 at GamesCom. The listing was a mistake

Americans Are the Best Pokemon Video Game Players in the World. We Just Suck at Cards.

Just as the U.S. dominated the medal count at the 2012 Olympic Games in London, our boys brought home the golden Pikachu cup in all three divisions of the 2012 Pokémon World Video Game Championships in Hawaii this weekend. The trading card game? Not so much. As expected, 2010 and 2011 World Champion Ray Rizzo…

Snacktaku Flavor Battle Royale: Wheat Thins

Wheat claims more farmland than any other crop cultivated by mankind. It’s the most traded grain on the planet, with upwards of 700 million tons harvested on a yearly basis to meet the needs of the Earth’s ever-growing population. It’s the “amber waves of grain” in the “America the Beautiful”. It’s not particularly tasty. In…

The Dorkly Weekly: Vote President Evil for Devouring Your Brain

So the president is dead. That doesn’t make him any more or less effective than any other leader of the free world since James K. Polk. Have you seen James K. Polk? No, not lately, I mean the older photos. Even when he had skin he looked like the kind of guy that wouldn’t mind…

You Shall Not Pass Up a Chance to See the Latest LEGO Lord of the Rings Trailer

If Peter Jackson had cast LEGO minifigs to star in the Lord of the Rings movie trilogy, then maybe I wouldn’t have fallen asleep so much. I enjoyed the films. They were just very long, and there was a lot of walking. I suppose the fact that I knew where the walking was leading didn’t…

Nintendo’s Portable Lineup Dates Paper Mario, Moves Luigi to 2013

With the release of the new 3DS XL just a week away, Nintendo releases its massive list of 3DS, DSi and eShop game releases, solidifying a November release for the next installment of Paper Mario, giving Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon a 2013 move-in date, and dropping a few surprises for Nintendo’s portable power players. While…

It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Week in Gaming Apps

This highly educational Week in Gaming Apps is brought to you by the letter T, the number 10,000,000, the sounds of jazz and the culture of Mexico. It’s been the busiest Week in Gaming Apps ever, at least for yours truly. I’ve been steeping myself in Windows Phone 7, Android and iPhone games over the…

And Then the Mr. T Duck Drives His Purple Motorcycle to the Fish Market

Are the colorful cartoon animals of Happy Street truly happy, or are they just incredibly nearsighted soulless consumer drones with no real purpose other than purchasing virtual products and being shit upon by low-flying seagulls? Can they be both? These are the questions that plagued me as I played through Godzilab’s free social game for…

Pesky Manufacturing Issues Could Make the Wii U a Little Late in Europe

Why has Nintendo been so reluctant to announce a release date (let alone price) for the Wii U? Sources close to UK video game website CVG suggest the company is still not sure it can make enough of the consoles in time to ensure a November release in both North America and Europe. It’s hard…

Music-Powered Shooter Symphony Brings Out the Best (and Worst) in Your Song Collection

I’ve always enjoyed the mechanical stylings of chiptune artist Trash80. My favorite tune (next to the gorgeous “Icarus”) is “Robot Sneakers” a bouncy little tune that I must have listened to a hundred times. I’ve never wanted it to end as badly as I do when playing it within Empty Clip Studios’ PC indie music…

If THQ Gets Its Way I’ll Be Dead in Five Days

First THQ’s media relations folks send me a furry hat that’s too small for my head. Now they’ve signed my death warrant. In honor of next week’s release of Darksiders 2, THQ got some lovely folks in Pakistan (it says so on the sticker on the bottom) to jinx the living hell out of my…

There Are 10 Million Reasons You Won’t Be Able to Stop Playing This Puzzle RPG

My latest run through the pixelated dungeon of EightyEight Games’ iOS dungeon puzzler earned me a score of a little more than 800,000 points. Freedom costs 10 million. I’m half-hoping I never make it. Reaching that lofty goal in the aptly-named 10000000 means freedom, sure, but it also means a possible end two-minute marathon dungeon…

Epic Games Announces Best Studio Logo Ever

Today Epic Games announced the opening of some video game studio in Maryland that has a freaking bear with wings and a unicorn horn for its logo. It’s working on Infinity Blade: Dungeons or something. Bear. With wings. And a horn. Located in Hunt Valley, Maryland, this new game studio is comprised of top-level development…

Ain’t Nothing Special About This Week’s Nintendo Download But the Real Bout

Sometimes Nintendo’s weekly downloadable content offerings grant me a broad selection of game-infused paints with which to decorate the canvas of this post. And then there’s weeks like these that don’t even give me enough to keep a painting metaphor going. I could try to get excited about Real Bout Fatal Fury Special, if you’d…

One of the Worst-Rated Game Franchises of All Time Gets a Wii U Sequel

There are currently four games in the Game Party series of mini-game collections. The combined Metacritic average for these four games is 31. So why the hell is Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment releasing Game Party Champions for the Wii U? I’d say it has something to do with the Game Party series on the Wii…

Persona 4 Arena: The Kotaku Review

I’d imagine the Venn diagram comparing fighting game players to Japanese role-playing game fans doesn’t have much overlap. These are two wildly disparate genres. One caters to the competitive, requiring quick reflexes and the ability to perform lengthy, timing-intensive strings of input commands quickly and strategically. The other satiates the story-hungry gamer, asking only that…

They’re Space Nazis But It’s Okay, They’re Not Racist or Anything

One would imagine it would take more than 130 years for humanity to embrace the ideals of an organization calling itself the (insert number here) Reich, but the destruction of the planet Earth does funny things to a civilization. In Miner Wars 2081 the Nazi party rises to power once more, thanks mainly to its…

Zen Pinball 2 hits PS3 and Vita September 4, with a mystery Popcap game-themed table to be revealed at PAX Prime.

Felicia Day Unboxes the Guild Wars 2 Collector’s Edition So I Don’t Have To

I know everyone is disappointed that they don’t get to see my crappy red tablecloth and hear my children babbling in the background, but trust me, this is for the best, if only for the myriad opportunities to dust off “that’s what she said”. It’s Felicia Day! And Guild Wars 2!