Illustration for article titled If THQ Gets Its Way Ill Be Dead in Five Days

First THQ's media relations folks send me a furry hat that's too small for my head. Now they've signed my death warrant.


In honor of next week's release of Darksiders 2, THQ got some lovely folks in Pakistan (it says so on the sticker on the bottom) to jinx the living hell out of my life expectancy. The laws of irony are at their most powerful in my household; I'm not sure they could resist a farcical death date inlaid in gold on a miniature genuine marble/onyx headstone.

If I don't show up for work on Tuesday, someone please train my children to become deadly assassins so they can one day exact bloody revenge. That is if THQ doesn't go under thanks to all the money being spent on threatening my life.

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