Mike Fahey

Transformers: Fall of Cybertron: The Kotaku Review

Transformers: Fall of Cybertron tells the story of the last days of a dying planet. It’s the tale of two warring factions reaching out across the cosmos for the sake of survival. To fans of the franchise, this is a historical account of a fixed point in time, the outcome of which is predetermined. We…

Nearly Thirty Years Old and Lode Runner is Still Kicking My Ass

I first played Douglas Smith’s classic platformer, Lode Runner, on an Apple II computer in 1983. I wasn’t very good, but then I was also only ten. Nearly three decades later Tozai Games has released Lode Runner Classic for Windows Phone 7, with versions coming soon for iOS and Android. The simply running and digging…

Everyone Needs Companion Cube Women’s Briefs. Everyone.

The fine folks at Jinx have rolled out a fresh batch of Valve products, featuring some amazing Portal 2 shirts and a pair of underwear that you’ll need to incinerate to earn your freedom. I showed the Companion Cube underwears to a female friend of mine this morning, who responded with “OMG everyone needs those.”…

Cybertron Falls Tomorrow. You Might Want to Wear a Hat or Something.

The official launch trailer for Transformers: Fall of Cybertron signals the end of the planet of the robots, at least for a few million years, depending on the continuity you follow. I can’t tell you if Fall of Cybertron is good or not; not until tomorrow morning, when our full review of the next game…

Fake Mentally Disturbed Killer of the Week: Alice’s Madness Never Left

“When is a cosplay not a cosplay?” queried the Mad Hatter, sipping lukewarm tea from a cracked and leaking cup. “When it’s pay-per-use stock photography that someone put up for sale in case someone felt a pressing need for shots of a woman dressed as the lead character from American McGee’s Alice: Madness Returns?” I…

Cinnabon’s Pizzabon: The Snacktaku Hideous Abomination Review

Sweet on top of sweet, smothered with cloyingly sweet; that’s what Cinnabon means to millions of people around the world. But the company that made its name by delivering over-sized spirals of doughy depression to the masses has developed a taste for the savory, and with the new Pizzabon, its hoping you will too. The…

Plants Vs. Zombies Sequel Coming Next Spring

The dead will rise and the vines will writhe come spring 2013, when Popcap Games finally gets around to releasing a sequel to the popular lawn defense game Plants. Vs. Zombies. It’s about damn time. Other than the fact that the sequel will bring new features, situations and settings to the missions of champions of…

Doing Battle with Fall of Cybertron‘s Bruticus Figure

Back in February when Hasbro announced it would be making a toy of the Transformers: Fall of Cybertron version of Decepticon gestalt team Bruticus, I was absolutely ecstatic. Now that I’ve got the San Diego Comic-Con variant of the toy in my hot giant hands? Still pretty ecstatic, though that doesn’t mean I can’t be…

The Simpsons are Just the Cursed Topping on One Amazing Week in Gaming Apps

When an official video game based on the most successful mature animated series in the history of television is one of the least exciting items on the list, you know you’re in for one hell of a Week in Gaming Apps. What’s better than Homer Simpson? How about the experiemental music toy-meets-tower defense with a…

Want Proof That Mobile Games are Catching Up to Consoles? Play Horn.

With The Dark Meadow, Phosphor Games Studio proved it could make a game that looked as good as a console title, but the sinister shooter’s limited on-rails gameplay was strictly mobile-grade. This week, in conjunction with Zynga, Phosphor released its latest Unreal Engine 3 powered mobile game, Horn, and it’s every bit as rich and…

Real Weapon Sellers Will Be So Jealous of These Borderlands 2 Videos

The same week EA pulls links to weapon and gear manufacturers from its Medal of Honor: Warfighter website, the arms crafters (ArmsCrafters – ready in about an hour) of Borderlands 2 get not one but three separate full-blown video ads. Some days it just doesn’t pay to be real. If I were to slip into…

Preordering Persona 4 Golden Makes Your Vita Look So Pretty

Available while supplies last at participating retailers, this gorgeous Persona 4 skin for your Vita is yours free when you preorder the upcoming sprucing-up, Persona 4 Golden Not only is it sticky and colorful, the skin also melds seamlessly with the eight included wallpapers, transforming the face of your Vita into a work of art.…

The First Fully Downloadable New Mario Game Dominates the Weekly Nintendo Download

With Sunday seeing the debut of New Super Mario Bros. 2, the first Nintendo-published title launched simultaneously at retail and in digital form, a game would have to be some sort of crazy chicken pirate to try and muscle in on this week’s Nintendo Download. So yeah, Mario and two games named Crazy Chicken: Pirate…

Can’t Wait to Play Team Fortress 2‘s Mann Vs. Machine Multiplayer? Tough.

I’ve been seeing this screen a lot since downloading the Team Fortress 2 update yesterday, and I am not alone. With hour wait times, server connection issues and various other problems, Mann Vs. Machine co-op play is nearly unplayable. I say nearly because you can still grab a group of friends and start your own…

Along with Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3, Konami’s Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 is also making the trip to PC next year.

The Age of True Platform-Free Gaming Begins with Goko

The screenshot you’re looking at is for the video game adaptation of Donald X. Vaccarino’s wildly popular card game Dominion running on iOS. And Android. And Facebook, Google+, Chrome, Safari — anywhere HTML 5 can be used, this game can be played, online and off. Using HTML 5 as a universal gaming platform is not…

NVIDIA’s Most Powerful Graphics Technology Just Got Much More Affordable

When NVIDIA debuted video cards featuring its powerful Kepler architecture earlier this year, PC gamers around the world stood up and cheered. Then they got quiet when they realized their only options were the $500+ GTX 680 card or the GTX 690, packing dual-Kepler graphics processing units for around $1,000. PC players drooled over these…

Death Claims the Souls of Seven Darksiders II Game Reviewers

Most men of modern profession have the good fortune to face death but once in their lifetime. These brave and critical souls stared into those empty sockets for hours and did not flinch… much. Steadfastly refusing to spare anyone over ’til another year, Death rides his pale horse into the spotlight in Darksiders II, otherwise…

Witness Dead or Alive 5‘s Latest Fighters Engaged in a Quaint Dinner to the Death

There’s only one way a meal between the boisterous Brad Wong and boyish Eliot in Tecmo Koei’s Dead or Alive 5 can possibly end. Or they could fight I guess. That works too. In an amusing departure from the over-the-top fighting stages we’ve seen from the game so far, Brad and Eliot make their debut…

A Dramatic Look at the Story of Neverwinter

Every time the terms “Dungeons & Dragons” and “story” appear together and I don’t find myself in a 10×10 room with four other people, checking for traps, I’m just the tiniest bit disappointed. This is Neverwinter, the action-MMO take on the classic franchise, as previewed by our own Kate Cox earlier this year. Specifically this…