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Like Sands Through the Hourglass, So Are the Fake Games of Our Lives

This week, Days of Our Lives joined stock photography services in the business of presenting unrealistically attractive people playing bullshit video games. What is this, Angry Birds X Call of Duty for the Xbox 360? Furthermore, what the hell is that guy playing the game on? A Curtis Mathes console TV from 1976? To contact…

EA Sports Developer Calls Wii U ‘Crap’ and Nintendo ‘Walking Dead’

At the end of a week in which Electronic Arts confirmed it wasn’t developing a thing for the Wii U, one of the software engineers in EA Sports’ Canada studio, in a series of since-deleted tweets, disparaged the console as “crap” and suggested Nintendo should give up on hardware altogether. “The Wii U is crap.…

The Best of Kotaku, The Week of May 13

Helloooo Kotaku! Happy weekend to you. This has been quite the busy week, what with Stephen off at a pre-E3, week-long event. Fortunately, he was still prepared with gifts. Gifts in the form of previews of Watch Dogs, The Last of Us and Scribblenauts Unmasked, disappointing but perhaps expected news from EA, and a cute…

Today’s Gamers Are Having A Little Trouble With Super Mario World, Too

It was recently established that the 2013 gamer is perplexed by some parts of 1994’s Super Metroid. The 2013 gamer is having some issues with 1990’s Super Mario World, too. We can see these struggles on the Nintendo Wii U’s Miiverse, a community accessible primarily through Nintendo’s new console. The Miiverse enables gamers to take…

If OKCupid was a dating site for cats, you’d probably find these types of creepy felines on there all the time. Sometimes, not so different from the creeps you might find on the site anyway.

Not One Of This Week’s Gaming Apps Will Cut Your Throat In Your Sleep

I know you’ve been worried. You’ve been keeping your phone in that heavily-padded case in a locked lead box under your bed. Your iPad is in a safe, and not for its own protection. You’ve got handcuffs for your Nexus 7, and not the kinky kind. Well do not worry, my friends. None of this…

The Swapper—the cool-looking sci-fi platformer that’s been in the works for a while—will be coming out for PC via Steam on May 30th. That art style look incredibly creepy/cool.

Inheriting Civilization V‘s Brave New World, One Trade At A Time

I’d like to think I’m a people person. I might not agree with 75 percent of what other people say or think or believe, but I get along. It’s what I do. In today’s society it works, for the most part. In Civilization V it didn’t, at least not until now. It’s a Brave New…

Xbox Exec Points to a Holiday Release For The Next Xbox [Update]

While not a direct confirmation, NeoGAF noted that during the latest Major Nelson podcast episode, Aaron Greenberg, chief of staff for interactive entertainment at Microsoft, seemed to imply that whatever is shown during the Xbox reveal will be out this holiday. The assumption, of course, being that they’re going to show the next Xbox during…

It’s like Limbo, but with magnets! Magnetic by Nature looks pretty neat, especially for a student project. Check out the Kickstarter if you’re interested.

Three Casual Gran Turismo 6 Questions, Answered Casually

You may love Gran Turismo. I don’t play them. Just not my thing. But when I see Gran Turismo 6 running in the corner of a Sony PlayStation event in Santa Monica, I ask the only GT-related questions I can think of. Are you guys rendering the bottoms of cars in greater detail? I ask…

If The Zombies Learn Parkour, We’re All Screwed

Slow zombies may be a cliche, but I’d take them any day over having to figure out how to survive against super agile, parkour zombies—like the ones in this video by ronniestreetstunts Though maybe they’d be too busy showing off their flippy moves to actually pose a threat? Hmm. Zombie Parkour – The Flipping Dead…

Here Are A Bunch Of GIFs People Have Been Going Crazy Over This Week

The Internet is a funny place. Do pretty much anything, and someone, somewhere is going to turn it into an animated GIF. Because there is a law written somewhere that pretty much legally binds us all to this rule. This week, crafty Internet surfers seemed inspired by the news on Pokémon X and Pokémon Y,…

The Local News Discovers HIGH-INTENSITY EXER-GAMING

Remember when local news channels across the country discovered that HOLY SHIT WOMEN PLAY VIDEO GAMES??? Today they’ve had another revelation: HIGH-INTENSITY EXER-GAMING!!! Brought to you by the same trite, recycled local news press release copy that brought you this fantastic report about the world of girl gamers, check out our supercut of local news…

Clearly, This Woman Should Be A Character In Street Fighter

Marawa is the “world conquering hoola hoop master”—according to her website. She can hoop up to 133 hoola hoops at the same time, and is basically kind of amazing with hoola hoops. She also likes Street Fighter. Hence…this kind of absurd video. Dat mega hoop combo at about a minute in. Wow. Wow. And hey.…

Big Layoffs Hit The Studio Behind Defiance And Rift [UPDATE]

We’re hearing of big layoffs at Trion Worlds, the company behind big online games like Rift and Defiance One person connected to the company tells us that the layoffs have affected over 100 people, and that they were triggered by the underwhelming performances of both Defiance and Rift‘s first expansion, Storm Legion The layoffs affect…

How To Turn Your Android Phone Into A Gaming Powerhouse

Your Android phone isn’t just for widgets, talking, Google Now and photos. It can also be one of the world’s best gaming platforms, if you’re willing to spend a little time on it. Once the domain of tinkerers and super-nerds, Android devices have exploded in popularity over the last couple of years, spurred on by…

He Took The Ultraball From Pokémon And Turned It Into A Gear Shifter

Well, you know how things are out in the road. Sometimes you just, uh, really need to catch them all? … Listen. Having an Ultraball for a gear shifter on your car is awesome, okay? And Redditor browner87 made one for his car by a modifying a cue ball and aluminum. You can see the…

Sorry – no Random Encounters today! I’ve been ill and bed-ridden and haven’t had a chance to put together a column this week. But please feel free to talk JRPGs right here.

Team Fortress 2’s Latest Update Was Created Entirely By The Community

Check out the Robotic Boogaloo update on Team Fortress 2—it just launched, and it includes 57 new items. These items were all made by the community, which is awesome. The Team Fortress blog writes: This update is 100% created by the TF2 community. And when we say everything, we mean everything—the in-game content, the update…