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DARG BLARGIT!!

This is the first time I’ve seen anything remotely resembling a curse in-game. Needless to say I think this is amazing. In unrelated news, Clay’s fishing rod kinda looks like a stump arm.

Ingenious idea: turn your museum into a hotel!

My lazy villagers always make me feel less lazy by comparison, and then I remember that they are fictional, virtual people and I am a real person with a job and stuff. Damn it!

Kotaku ‘Shop Contest: Comic-Con Cosplay Extravaganza: The Winners

Well, now we know what was behind the curtain of XCOM’s kiddie show, and we know it was indeed extraterrestrial. A triptych of cosplayers from San Diego Comic-Con supplied the material for this week’s ‘Shop contest, and we have two rare double-finalists inside, including overall No. 1 and repeat all-star arniejolt! Rounding out the rest…

Self-published indie games may not be only for the Xbox One. The makers of Pinball Arcade say they’re clear to self-publish to Xbox Live Arcade beginning in August. That’s when Microsoft will have more to say about the program at Gamescom. We’ve reached out to an Xbox Live representative for comment. Update: We got the…

Big-League eSports Team Owner Among Those Charged in Huge Hacking Case

The owner of what was one of the largest teams in eSports is among several persons charged in what the United States government now calls “the largest hacking and data breach scheme ever prosecuted in the United States.” Dmitry Smilianets, who went by the handle ddd1ms, is among five charged with stealing millions of debit…

Here’s the Music LeBron James Chose for NBA 2K14

Sports video game soundtracks do matter—just spend 20 minutes in the menus of NCAA Football 14. 2K Sports has done a good job with theirs, even before bringing in Jay-Z last year to both “executive produce” the game and make that job into a verb. This year, cover star LeBron James got to pick NBA…

Twitter Blowup Leads to Sudden Cancellation of Fez II

Polytron, the studio behind the indie hit Fez, announced over its official Twitter that development on Fez II has been canceled. It appears to be related to a very heated Twitter argument between Polytron founder Phil Fish and an Internet personality who sharply criticized him today. Marcus Beer, who editorializes under the “Annoyed Gamer” brand…

Hackers Can Take Over Cars and Drive Them With a Nintendo Controller

A pair of security experts demonstrated to the BBC that some ordinary models of cars can be overridden—despite whatever the driver is doing behind the wheel—using a laptop, some software, and an old Nintendo Entertainment System gamepad. The hack—which Toyota, in response, says it doesn’t consider a “hack”—requires plugging into a vehicle’s electronic control unit…

The Navy’s Found a Use for Kinect: Stop Sexual Assault

Sailors are going to learn how to read another person’s verbal cues and body language with a Kinect training game meant to curb a sexual harrassment/assault issue that has become increasingly embarrassing to the armed services. Like all great things in the military, this game has a very literal and no-fun title: “Avatar Based Sexual…

Battlefield May Allow Stats Transfer Between Console Generations, Too

Earlier this week, both FIFA and Madden said their upcoming versions on Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 will be able to transfer their Ultimate Team rosters to Xbox One and PS4 once those titles launch. Their cousins over at Battlefield say they’re looking into doing something similar, too. That comes via Battlefield‘s official Twitter on…

Watch VXG 2013 Streamed Live, Right Here

The biggest event in the fighting game genre has come and gone but that doesn’t mean that first-class competition in Street Fighter, Tekken or King of Fighters is done for the year. This weekend marks the start of the Video X Games, a tournament that takes place on the island of St. Maartens. There’s $30,000…

The Best of Kotaku, The Week of July 22nd

We got some more Xbox One news this week, right in time for our round-up refreshers of both next-gen PS4 and Xbox One consoles. You can check out those articles and the rest of our best content from the week over on Kotaku Selects, where I hand-pick stories to showcase for you. Otherwise, it’s been…

What Do You Think of Orange Is The New Black?

I spent the last week glued to Netflix, watching one thing: Jenji Kohan’s Orange Is The New Black. It’s a show about a well-educated and sheltered white woman named Piper Chapman who has to serve a little over a year in prison after transporting a suitcase full of drug money for a drug smuggler. Not…

A Beautiful Cover Of A Classic World of Warcraft Song

Here’s composer/songwriter Laura Shigihara with a lovely a cappella version of “Lament of the Highbourne” from World of Warcraft

Boy Does Pokemon’s Professor Oak Have Some Messed Up Nightmares

What would Pokemon’s Professor Oak dream of? Having a complete Pokedex, perhaps? According to jaxamoto, he’d have slightly NSFW dreams of adventure with none other than terrible explorer Ash Ketchum. Also, Oak would have an accent. Listen, it’s a nightmare. Just go with it…stick till the end, too, there’s one final joke in there. Pokemon…

A Launch PlayStation 4 Versus A Launch PlayStation 3

We’ve compared a DualShock 3 and a DualShock 4. We’ve sized up the PS4 against a bevy of objects, like a Macbook. We’ve even gotten intimately close with the PS4. But what about a PS3 versus a PS4? PlayStationAccess delivers on the size comparison, if you’re curious. To sum: the PS4 is far from the…

The Week In Gaming Apps, Now With 100 Percent More Video

What, you wanted a text Week in Gaming Apps? Well I wanted a pop filter, and I didn’t get that, a fact that’s p-p-p-painfully evident in this, the first all-video Week in Gaming Apps. That’s right, after years of spending my Fridays typing and taking screenshots, now I’m capturing footage, recording voice overs and learning…

Minecraft Is Now ‘Mine-Crack,’ Says Local News Everywhere

Remember when the local news discovered that girls play video games? Now intrepid reporters everywhere have discovered Mine-Crack, the dangerous drug that could be affecting our youth in all sorts of disturbing ways. Video editor Chris Person put together this super-cut. Enjoy.

Ride To Hell Has Serious Issues. So It’s Perfect For Animated GIFs.

Ride To Hell: Retribution, an action-adventure about the bikers of the 60s is a bad game—it’s full of glitches, bugs and weird, incomprehensible moments. It’s something I’d only play for the laughs and funny footage. That’s what the always superb YouTuber motdef did in his video, the best moments of which we now present here…

Spider-Man Has the Best Superhero Instagram Picture. Of Course.

Tony Stark may have the technological know-how and Bruce Wayne is probably better with nocturnal photography but really Peter Parker would probably them have them both beat if superhero Instagram actually existed. These mock-ups are the work of Sierra Katow over at the Comediva website. There are a few more on the site. What other…