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  Games for People Who Don’t Have the Internet. Not Even Dial-Up [UPDATE]

  You may know a person who likes video games who doesn’t have Internet. Don’t pity them. Buy them a present. The very best gift for them might be the Internet itself, but aside from that, here’s what you can get them. Of course, if they don’t have Internet because they are in prison, disregard all…

  By Stephen Totilo Published December 5, 2011
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  Whosoever Holds This Pinball Table Shall Possess the Power of Thor

  Should you be worthy or willing to spend 800 Microsoft points / $9.99 next week, this Thor table and more shall be yours when Zen Studio releases the Marvel Pinball: Vengeance and Virtue pack on Xbox Live Arcade and the PlayStation Network. Thor joins the X-Men on the side of virtue in this downloadable pinball…

  By Mike Fahey Published December 5, 2011
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  The Last Guardian Creator Says He Remains Hard At Work on His Game

  The Last Guardian creator Fumito Ueda took to Twitter earlier today to reassure fans that he is still hard at work on his game. “Ueda says he’s been getting lots of Q’s lately, but fear not—they’re hard at work on Last Guardian, as always,” Tweets 8-4’s John Ricciardi, loosely translating Ueda’s Tweet today. Last week…

  By Brian Crecente Published December 5, 2011
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  This New Trailer for Rayman Origins Covers the Fundamentals in Pretty, Funny Fashion

  Apparently, the powers-that-be at Ubisoft know that the visual splendor of their latest gorgeously rendered platformer can be straight-up confusing. That’s the only raison d’etre I can figure behind the video above. The clip details gameplay goals so basic that you’d have to be a drooling idiot not to get them. To be fair, there…

  By Evan Narcisse Published December 5, 2011
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  Devs Explain How Animal Crossing 3DS Will Be the Best Animal Crossing Yet

  Producer Katsuya Eguchi and a trio of developers from the Animal Crossing 3DS team spend ten minutes discussing how the latest iteration of the animal life sim will set itself apart from the rest. They had me at skirts and pants. While I love me some Animal Crossing, the game hasn’t changed very much since…

  By Mike Fahey Published December 5, 2011
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  It’s Time for a War Game that Respects the Geneva Conventions

  Despite its inherent brutality, war has rules. Laws of war have been around in one form or another since Biblical times. They govern the treatment of prisoners of war, the expediency of death on a battlefield. Could they, should they also pertain to the depiction of virtual war in video games? That’s the question the…

  By Brian Crecente Published December 5, 2011
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  Take A Gander at the Guns of Max Payne 3 in These New Screens

  Other than the ability to absorb enough human misery to fell any three lesser men and not get addicted to all those painkillers he guzzles, Max Payne has no superpowers to speak of. When Rockstar’s hard-boiled hero cop needs to dispatch bad guys, he needs guns. Lots of ‘em. These new shots from the threequel…

  By Evan Narcisse Published December 5, 2011
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  The 3DS is the Perfect Platform for the Return of Yoshi

  With Nintendo visiting many of its classic franchises upon the 3DS, commenter Daemon_Gildas believes it’s high time Mario’s trusty mount companion got a little 3D lovin’. Hear him out in today’s Speak Up on Kotaku. I think it’s about time Yoshi got some love on the 3DS. Maybe an open-world game, but maybe the “world”…

  By Mike Fahey Published December 5, 2011
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  Minecraft‘s New Boss Puts Mod Improvements, In-Game Books at the Top of the To-Do List

  Minecraft is done, but it’s not really done. The new man in charge of the computer game sensation tells Kotaku that development will continue on the game even though the game is now out. In fact, it sounds like development is ramping up. “The current Minecraft plan is to add more people to the team…

  By Stephen Totilo Published December 5, 2011
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  Canabalt Parkours Back in Time to the Commodore 64

  This isn’t something done for internet shits and giggles. It’s an “official conversion” of awesome death simulator Canabalt running on…the Commodore 64, one that will soon be going on sale. Like, it’ll come on a cartridge. Amazing. If you’d rather just play it on an emulator, you can do that right here C64anabalt – Official…

  By Luke Plunkett Published December 5, 2011
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  Talk Amongst Yourselves

  I really have to get around to playing Final Fantasy XIII, I have been putting it off for too long and I really hate letting a backlog of games build up. What’s in your backlog of gaming? Well I’m going to go play Skyrim instead so … it’s that time again for you to Talk…

  By Chris Carolan Published December 5, 2011
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  Here’s Why Former Presidential Candidate Herman Cain Was So Obsessed With A Pokémon Song

  If one didn’t know better, it would be easy to think one-time presidential candidate Herman Cain is a gamer. His tax plan seems to be ripped straight out of SimCity and his go-to inspiration quote comes from a Pokémon movie. What gives? GQ recently ran an amazing interview with Cain, who this weekend officially suspended…

  By Brian Crecente Published December 5, 2011
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  I Don’t Know Whether I Should Be Offended, Sad, Happy, or What

  It’s not everyday that you play a game that creates such an emotional mix. Then again, it’s not everyday you play a game based on Fukushima with spinning radiation symbols, lasar perimeters, and aliens. The game, 4Fukushima, is from first-time Hungarian game developer, Wandarin Interactive. The developers are apparently offering over half the game’s proceeds…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published December 5, 2011
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  Here’s the List of Partners That Microsoft Hopes Will Make the Xbox 360 the Future of TV

  The new dashboard update hitting Xbox 360s this week represents yet another salvo in Microsoft’s bid to transform their gaming console into a powerhouse home entertainment hub. Of course, such an effort needs lots of ammunition and the Xbox folks have pacted with content partners all over the globe to enable TV viewing through Xbox…

  By Evan Narcisse Published December 5, 2011
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  These People Won Awards!

  Awarded | TOKYO, JAPAN: Sell PlayStation games, get an award. Sony held its annual PlayStation Awards for its biggest selling titles. (Photo: 4Gamer) “Like Getting a Whole New Xbox”: New Xbox Live Dashboard Re-Invents TV Viewing, Interface, Search and Storage The number-crunchers at Microsoft know the reasons you turn off your Xbox 360. It’s to…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published December 5, 2011
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  Is This the Lewdest Xbox 360 Game Cover Ever?

  Is it? Zombie-killing-cowgirl game Onechanbara Z Kagura, not known for being subtle, now has official box art. The game is rated 18-and-up in Japan. And the box art? Onechanbara debuted back in 2004 on the PlayStation 2. It has since spun off a feature film version, titled Onechanbara: The Movie Vortex 『お姉チャンバラZ～カグラ～』過去作のヒロイン「彩」 [Gpara]

  By Brian Ashcraft Published December 5, 2011
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  This MMA Fighter is Bonkers for Skyrim. He Can Kick Your Ass. For Real!

  Jon Fitch (above, celebrating after a win) makes his living kicking the crap out of people. As one of the world’s best mixed martial artists, he’s top drawer at what he does. But when he’s not fighting and not training, he’s thinking. About Skyrim From the sound of it, even when he’s training and kicking…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published December 5, 2011
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  The World Deserves a Mega Man Toaster

  As far as I know, there has never been a Mega Man toaster. John MacInnis, a student of Industrial Design at the Wentworth Institute of Technology, decided to change that and whipped up this design. “For this project we needed to pick a cartoon/video game character and create a toaster specifically for them,” writes MacInnis.…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published December 5, 2011
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  These Guys Think Piracy Is OK, Because It Leads to Sales

  A study commissioned by the Swiss government has found that the country’s current piracy laws, which allow downloading of stuff for “personal use”, should stay. Because they actually encourage people to buy more stuff. The study, based on both its own research and extrapolating data from a similar Dutch study from 2009, is based on…

  By Luke Plunkett Published December 5, 2011
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  Mass Effect Action Figures Back from the Dead

  It’s long been assumed that the Mass Effect figures, once the domain of DC Direct, were dead in the water. The first series came and went quickly, while the second never came at all. But now, they’re back. EA and Big Fish Toys have struck a deal to not only bring the first wave back…

  By Luke Plunkett Published December 5, 2011