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  The Original Hard-Boiled, Slow-Motion Max Payne Goes Mobile Next Week

  We’ve still got another month before the third installment of Max Payne hits the Xbox 360, PlayStation3 and PC. Why not spend that time reliving the original on the iPhone or iPad? In honor of the upcoming Max Payne revival, Rockstar Games is releasing a remastered version of the 2001 original for iOS devices and,…

  By Mike Fahey Published April 6, 2012
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  Joe Danger Coming to iOS, Bringing Shark Wrestling With It

  Slowly but surely, Hello Games’ lovable stuntman Joe Danger keeps making his way to new platforms. After debuting on PS3 and then hitting Xbox 360 last year, the Super Dave of video games will be defying death on iPads and iPhones soon. A Gamasutra interview with Hello Games co-founder Sean Murray offers up some details…

  By Evan Narcisse Published April 6, 2012
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  Duels of the Planeswalkers 2013 Will Be Magic on the iPad

  Wizards of the Coast finally realized how amazing the Magic: The Gathering Duels of the Planeswalkers series would be on the iPad, with Apple’s tablet joining PC, PlayStation Network, and Xbox Live when the game’s 2013 installment launches this summer.

  By Mike Fahey Published April 6, 2012
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  Will the Real Dakota Rose Please Stand Up?

  Meet Dakota Ostrenga. You might know her by her by her online moniker, Dakota Rose. Or in Asia, she’s Kotakoti. In the last few months, she’s made a name with her photos and YouTube vids. She’s one of those Japan-inspired living dolls. Buzzfeed called her “The Real-Life Barbie”. Earlier this month, she made her debut…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 6, 2012
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  Kotaku East

  Korean Politician Dresses as an Angry Bird, Flings Himself at Social Issues

  If there’s one good thing that has come from Angry Birds, it’s this: Korean politician Jeong Hong created an Angry Birds themed re-election video called “Hong-ry Birds”. Geddit? Hong-ry? Hilarious! Hong is a member of the rightwing incumbent party, the Saenuri Party, which is seeking re-election in the upcoming April 11 election. As website Korea…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 6, 2012
• Kotaku East

  Kingdom Hearts 3D Is Both a Dream and a Nightmare

  Kingdom Hearts is one of those series whose quality varies wildly from game to game. Sometimes they are nothing but near pointless filler while others are as solid as the numbered iterations in the series. Much like the “even-number Star Trek films curse,” fans of the series believe those Kingdom Hearts titles released on Nintendo…

  By Richard Eisenbeis Published April 6, 2012
• Kotaku East

  Sumo Wrestlers Make the Best Cheerleaders

  They really do. This 1960s era photo is from a school athletic meet, and it shows a group of sumo dressed up as cheerleaders to entertain the kids. Decades later, I know I’m entertained. Sumo wrestlers dressed up as Cheerleaders 1960s [Japan Sugoi]

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 6, 2012
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  Kotaku East

  Can You Defeat 95 Computer Controlled Bombermen? Only If Your iPhone Doesn’t Crash.

  Ever wonder what it’d be like to play a massive 100-person game of Bomberman? Well Konami read your mind and released 100-Person Battle Bomberman late last month for smart phones in Japan. While it seems like an amazing idea to have 100-man Bomberman battles, this game has one major downside: 99 of those people are…

  By Richard Eisenbeis Published April 6, 2012
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  Kotaku East

  The Akira Bike of Your Dreams Is Racing Across Japan

  This might not be Neo-Tokyo, but that sure looks like Shotaro Kaneda’s bike in cyberpunk anime Akira. Masashi Teshima from Fukuoka, Japan thought he’d like an Akira bike for himself and spent seven years and ¥10 million (US$121,000) to make it. While there are other Kaneda bike projects, this one is officially recognized by Akira…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 6, 2012
• Kotaku East

  Star Wars Needed More Smoothtroopper Crotch Grabbing

  So did Kinect Star Wars, for that matter. This totally unlicensed shirt was spotted by writer Brian Michael Bendis in Tokyo. It’s glorious. Check out Kotaku‘s Kinect Star Wars review here. Check out this shirt somewhere in Tokyo. Infringe-a-licious Tokyo tee: best Star Wars shirt ever? [BoingBoing]

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 6, 2012
• Kotaku East

  In Aging Japan, 97 Year-Old Man Arrested for Attempted Murder with a Sword

  People live in Japan longer than they do in any other country. The number of centenarians is at record numbers. Know what all those old people mean? Higher chances of old people crime! The Yomiuri Shimbun is reporting that a 97 year-old man was arrested earlier this week for trying to kill an 84 year-old…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 6, 2012
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  Kotaku East

  Japan Busts Out the Eye Shadow and Plastic Guns for Starhawk

  When you think of third-person shooter Starhawk, you probably think of space, giant mecha, and multiplayer game play. You most likely do not think of a dude with eye paint or a dude dressed up like Golgo 13. In this clip, Japanese comedians (and a lady from Sony) help us through a walkthrough of the…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 6, 2012
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  Kotaku East

  Learn Japanese One Dead Zombie at a Time

  Way back in the year 1999, Sega took its successful horror light-gun game, House of the Dead 2, swapped guns for keyboards and released it in arcades under the name The Typing of the Dead. Two years later this typing tutor was released in America on the Dreamcast and PC. It was—and still is frankly—the…

  By Richard Eisenbeis Published April 6, 2012
• Kotaku East

  A Hairy Butt, a Drunk Businessman, and a Power Ranger Make Train Rides More Interesting

  Commuting can be so dull. Just sitting there on the train, which, throughout much of Asia, is always so damn quiet. Boring! But sometimes, exciting things happen. Sometimes, you get this. This being—I’m not quite sure what this is. There’s a businessman passed out on a seat. Next to him there is a blue Power…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 6, 2012
• Kotaku East

  Assassin’s Creed Dives into Final Fantasy. Here’s a First Look.

  As Kotaku previously posted, Ezio Auditore da Firenze’s Assassin’s Creed outfit is coming to role-playing game Final Fantasy XIII-2 as downloadable content. Here are some screenshots that show Noel Kreiss, Final Fantasy XIII-2’s male protagonist, decked out in AC gear. Collaborations like this are neat and all, but they also seem off putting. Like, why…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 6, 2012
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  Kotaku East

  When You Devote Yourself to Chun-Li

  Music has its Elvis impersonators, but video games? Video games have cosplayers, but there’s a difference in the nuance. “Cosplay” implies an element of play—as though you are going from outfit to outfit. Not this lady. This lady is Elin Kuzunoha, and while she’s cosplayed as characters from One Piece and Final Fantasy, there is…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 6, 2012
• Kotaku East

  Kotaku East Starts Right Now

  Kotaku East runs from 4am to 8am Eastern. For more info about Kotaku East click here

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 6, 2012
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  Firefall’s Intro Wants to Blow up Brazil

  The cinematic intro to multiplayer PC shooter Firefall has just been released. And unlike previous pieces from the game, there’s no shooting in it whatsoever. If you live in Brazil, though, you may want to get an umbrella before watching. The forecast is for giant falling spaceships. Get More: GameTrailers.com, Firefall – Exclusive Intro HD,…

  By Luke Plunkett Published April 6, 2012
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  That Other XCOM Game Just Got a New Coat of Paint

  While there are two official games coming based on the classic XCOM (or, really, X-Com) universe, there’s another, less official one in the pipeline as well: PC indie strategy title Xenonauts Originally unveiled in 2010, and billed as a spiritual successor to the original X-Com game, it’s just received a fairly substantial visual overhaul, which…

  By Luke Plunkett Published April 6, 2012
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  One of Batman’s Greatest Ever Fights, Immortalised

  If it wasn’t for the part where he beats the living shit out of Superman in the very same comic, the epic showdown between the Dark Knight and The Joker from Frank Miller’s 1986 classic The Dark Knight Returns might well have been Batman’s most memorable fight. Which means it’s awesome seeing its concluding moments…

  By Luke Plunkett Published April 6, 2012