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  Theory No. 5 About Why Nintendo Lost Money Last Year

  Over at Yahoo (or maybe The Week), some unnamed editor has rounded up the opinions of four other writers to alchemize a theory or four about why Nintendo lost more than $400 million last year, the company’s first annual loss I’m not sure how they missed the theory that I dare say is the right…

  By Stephen Totilo Published May 7, 2012
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  Dance, Dance, Dance, All Over Skyrim

  From High Hrothgar to the Guardian Stones! From Dragonsreach to Wolfskull Cave! Where the hell is Dovahkiin? This video by Projectrooster, done in the style of that great Where the hell is Matt? video, asks the same question of our dragon-blooded Skyrim protgaonist. And the answer is pretty much the same: Why, the Dovahkiin is…

  By Kirk Hamilton Published May 7, 2012
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  This Game About Making Coffee is Actually About Making Sweet Love

  Coffee is pretty sexy. Especially home-ground, French-press coffee. You heat the water, you grind the beans, you push the plunger. Yes! Yes! Oh, God! Video game-maker of our hearts Pippin Barr, whose last game was based on the oh-so-dreamy Epic Sax Guy, has now crafted a new flash game about coffee, and also about sex.…

  By Kirk Hamilton Published May 7, 2012
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  You’ll Be Able To Recover Crashed Games In The Next StarCraft II Expansion

  Say your StarCraft II match ends prematurely, either by crash or lightning strike or murder or whatever. Right now, your only option is to suck it up and start a new game. But when Blizzard releases the expansion pack Heart of the Swarm, you’ll be able to recover a crashed match by loading up the…

  By Jason Schreier Published May 7, 2012
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  My Mass Effect 3 Ending Lasted 34 Hours. It Was Wonderful.

  Some called me a sympathizer when I championed the rights of some video game fans who disliked a game’s ending to have it changed. They said I didn’t like the ending, and that’s why I concocted a theory in March about video games as a malleable art that is justifiably tweaked by player and game…

  By Stephen Totilo Published May 7, 2012
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  Welcome to Sportaku

  Sports are a huge segment of video gaming. Two to three titles are guaranteed to be top 10 sellers every year, and the list of most popular games being played on the Xbox 360 nearly always includes the most current versions of the major team titles. Why, then, is this genre and its devoted fans…

  By Tina Amini Published May 7, 2012
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  The Trouble With Call of Duty‘s Scary New War of the Future

  The future is black, announces the trailer for Call of Duty: Black Ops II The next iteration of the popular first person shooter hardly needs any marketing campaign: immediately after the official announcement, the gaming press diligently started to operate as an extension of Activision’s PR department. Small and big media scrambled to produce the…

  Paolo Pedercini, Molleindustria Published May 7, 2012
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  You Can Now Buy An Xbox 360 For $99 (If You Can Find A Microsoft Store)

  The rumored $99 Xbox 360 bundle is now no longer a rumor. It’s live. You dish out $99 up front and commit to two years of Xbox Live Gold at $15/month, you get a 4GB Xbox 360 and a Kinect. (Oh and also you have to buy it at a Microsoft Store. Yes, there is…

  By Jason Schreier Published May 7, 2012
• Kotaku East

  Welcome to Kotaku East

  Since 2005, Kotaku has unabashedly covered Japan from Japan, breaking news and providing a boots-on-the-ground look at the country’s gaming and geek culture. The site’s name, “Kotaku“, is even from a made-up Japanese word with “ko” (小) meaning “small” and “otaku” (オタク) meaning “geek”. Voilà, Kotaku! But Kotaku East takes that several steps further. With…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published May 7, 2012
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  Redcoat Takes Arrow To Calf In New Assassin’s Creed III Trailer

  The newest clip for Ubisoft’s historical stealth series offers a glimpse of the new environments and weaponry that protagonist Connor will be wielding against the British during the Revolutionary War. This teaser’s only a portion of a full trailer that fans can unlock by liking the game’s official Facebook page.

  By Evan Narcisse Published May 7, 2012
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  The Mexican Ninja is the Chupacabra’s Most Fearsome Enemy

  The chupacabra has no idea what’s coming for it, until it’s too late. The tale of the Mexican ninja in this short film is planned for a full-length feature film where we will undoubtedly see many other creepy creatures slashed and gutted.

  By Tina Amini Published May 7, 2012
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  Turn Your iPhone into a Virtual Military Arsenal

  Your living room is the setting of your next first-person shooter. Or maybe its your front yard. Or your office. It’s up to you. Real Strike is a 3D augmented reality FPS camera app that gets you an array of guns to fire through your iPhone. The app uses the iPhone camera and allows you…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published May 7, 2012
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  Dream Mortal Kombat Cameo Proves Dr. Robotnik Can Be a Right Murderous Bastard

  In the latest installment of CurtainsAreOnFire’s Mortal Kombat Secret Character Tryouts video series, the Angry Birds get angrier, Paperboy delivers carnage, and Dr. Robotnik finally creates an obstacle course capable of murder. Dr. Robotnik generally falls into the Bowser category of video game villains. He really wants to be evil, but he’s kept from reaching…

  By Mike Fahey Published May 7, 2012
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  When Minecraft Griefers Invade Real Life

  Minecraft griefers are scary. Real life Minecraft griefers are even scarier. So watch out for flying pickaxes. And creepers. [YouTube — thanks, Miles!]

  By Jason Schreier Published May 7, 2012
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  Monday Watch This, Play This

  Watch! Mortal Kombat gets a few new additions. Watch! Minecraft players reign terror in town. Play! Ash shoots his surroundings through the virtual reality of his iPhone. Watch! What’s that in the shadows? It’s Mexican Ninja.

  By Tina Amini Published May 7, 2012
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  Possible World Exclusive: Kinect Dog Food Game

  There is a Kinect-powered video game in the Columbus Circle subway station in New York City. It’s being used to sell dog food. Because Kotaku never rests, and because we can’t let Game Informer and television’s Geoff Keighley hog all the big video game world exclusive announcements, your editor-in-chief had to stop and shoot a…

  By Stephen Totilo Published May 7, 2012
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  Beyond Good & Evil 2 Probably Will Have to Wait for the Next Generation of Consoles, Alors

  I speak a little bit of French. Just enough, in fact, to get the gist of what Rayman creator Michel Ancel is saying in this interview. The Ubisoft developer confirms work continues on the long-awaited sequel to cult favorite Beyond Good & Evil, but also says that it’ll need better tech than is currently available.…

  By Evan Narcisse Published May 7, 2012
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  Talk Amongst Yourselves

  Welcome to Kotaku’s official forum, known affectionately as Talk Amongst Yourselves. This is the place where we gather on a daily basis to discuss all things video game and existential. Want to talk about new games, old games, games that aren’t even out yet? Knock yourselves out! Look who’s a multimillion dollar pro football player!…

  By Evan Narcisse Published May 7, 2012
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  Three Cheers for Joss Whedon: King of the Geeks, King of the World

  It is a truth universally acknowledged that Joss Whedon rules. This truth is celebrated across many disparate swaths of the internet, from Buffytown to Fireflyville to Dr. Horribleopolis. As a writer and director, Whedon has mastered the art of twisting and reimagining bits of genre junk that we love—Cowboys! Vampires and witches! Supervillains! Horror movies!—and…

  By Kirk Hamilton Published May 7, 2012
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  Can You Name the Video Game Rabbit Hero Forever Etched on My Forearm?

  Long before Epic’s Cliff Bleszinski made a name for himself with Unreal and Gears of War, he already made a name for himself in the heart of at least one young(er) gamer with the PC’s answer to the platforming mascot character. His name is Jazz Jackrabbit, and if you don’t know who he is then…

  By Mike Fahey Published May 7, 2012