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  Kotaku East

  Don’t Let the Chewing Gum Penis Distract You

  This is singer Kaela Kimura. She’s from Tokyo. The dialects throughout Japan are different—something Kotaku has covered before. In a recent series of chewing gum commercials, Kaela speaks in the Osaka dialect, instead of her usual Tokyo dialect. Her accent is overblown, and its all for comic effect. It’s pretty funny! But goodness, forget her…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 4, 2012
• Kotaku East

  This Might Be the Greatest Box Art of 2012

  Okay, yes. It’s only April. I know. But damn, the boxart for the upcoming Tokyo Jungle is glorious. Be sure to check out Kotaku‘s previous Tokyo Jungle coverage.

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 4, 2012
• Kotaku East

  Chinese Netizens Totally Heart the American Ambassador

  The American ambassador to China has usually been an enigmatic figure to the Chinese people. Sure John Huntsman “speaks” Chinese (he really does just not often in public), and has Chinese daughters, he remained a mystery to the Chinese public during his tenure as ambassador. Gary Locke on the other hand, has captivated the attention…

  By Eric Jou Published April 4, 2012
• Kotaku East

  So Who Was Making Crap Up: Nintendo or a Japanese Newspaper?

  Last month, an article appeared in Japanese newspaper Nikkei. In it, Nikkei stated that Nintendo was targeting Asia. Moreover, the paper gave a specific example of this tactic—namely that Nintendo was launching the 3DS in South Korea on April 28. Nintendo aggressively refuted the article, releasing a statement that the article “isn’t anything our company…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 4, 2012
• Kotaku East

  Ancient Chinese Graveyard Ritual Goes Online

  Tomb-sweeping is usually a very somber affair, usually. Now in a surge to promote eco-friendly “burials” and body disposals, China has gamified the tradition. Due to growing concerns about property ownership (you can only own land for 70 years in China) to the cost of funeral plots, China has been urging its people to conduct…

  By Eric Jou Published April 4, 2012
• Kotaku East

  Chinese Farmers Become Gigolos To Pay for Online Gaming Addiction

  Online gaming addiction is a serious thing, and in China where they limit gaming time and access, it’s no laughing matter. But what happens when you’re addicted to gaming but you don’t have the money? Tecent recently reported a disturbing trend happening to China’s “Second Generation Farmers (农二代)” and their addiction to online gaming. “Second…

  By Eric Jou Published April 4, 2012
• Kotaku East

  Where There’s Hardware in China, There’s This Lady

  Xia Xiaowei is one of China’s most famous “tech models”. Whenever big hardware is released, the 20-something year-old Xia Xiaowei, who goes by Vivihoney in English, is there to pose with it. Chinese tech models like Vivihoney pretty much exclusively pose with hardware, combining glossy gadget pics with pin-up photos. Vivihoney is actually signed with…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 4, 2012
• Kotaku East

  New Game Killer Is Dead Isn’t a Sequel to Cult Hit Killer7

  Goichi Suda, the man behind No More Heroes and Killer 7 (above), is working on a new game called Killer Is Dead. According to the upcoming issue of Famitsu, Suda is directing this assassin title. The game apparently takes its cues from both Killer 7 and No More Heroes. Killer Is Dead, however, is an…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 4, 2012
• Kotaku East

  China’s Angry Birds Sausage Is a Cruel Reminder

  Ever wonder what happens to the pigs in Angry Birds after they’re toppled? In the game, they go “poof” into a cloud of smoke. In real life, they end up on dinner tables. Chinese food maker Joycome is running a promotion with Angry Birds—the game is huge throughout Asia. Buy 800 grams worth of Joycome…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 4, 2012
• Kotaku East

  Final Fantasy Characters Are Now Modeling Italian Clothes

  Final Fantasy characters sure are stylish. Maybe it’s their razor thin body types. Or the hair. But they look like models. And now, they don’t only look like them, they are. The latest issue of Japanese men’s fashion mag Arena Homme Plus features Final Fantasy XIII-2 characters modeling Prada’s summer collection. These are clothes for…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 4, 2012
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  Kotaku East

  “Not Scary” North Korea Wants You To Visit

  North Korea seems rough. It might be a wonderful place to visit. I’ve never been, so I honestly do not know. The Vice documentary on visiting the secretive country didn’t exactly make it seem like a good time. This video, however, does its best to get you packing your bags and ready for a trip…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 4, 2012
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  Kotaku East

  Leggy Robot Girls Release Motion Capture Data for Your Pleasure

  It’s springtime. And when you say “spring” in Japan, images of cherry blossoms and picnics leap to mind. Screw that. You should be thinking about illuminated, dancing robot girls. Japanese pop group Perfume, whom Kotaku has featured before, is releasing a new single called “Spring of Life”. The video turns the leggy trio into dancing…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 4, 2012
• Kotaku East

  Kotaku East Starts Right Now

  Kotaku East runs from 4am to 8am Eastern. For more info about Kotaku East click here

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 4, 2012
• Uncategorized

  The $700 Mega Man Movie

  Olan Rogers wants to make three movies before he dies. One is a Star Trek flick. Another is a Samurai Jack movie. The third is a Mega Man film. Well, that’s one down! Shot for $700 and with the help of some unpaid actor volunteers, it won’t win any Oscars. But for fans of Mega…

  By Luke Plunkett Published April 4, 2012
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  Uncategorized

  FIFA Striker Sexually Assaulted by Goalkeeper, Dusts Himself Off and Tries Again

  It’s not the first time we’ve seen FIFA 12’s misfiring physics engine go bananas, and it probably won’t be the last. But for now, this is easily my favourite example of how something so busted can also be something so beautiful Unbelievable FIFA 12 goal! [YouTube, via Reddit]

  By Luke Plunkett Published April 4, 2012
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  Uncategorized

  Angry Birds & Draw Something Looked Way Better as 80’s PC Games

  Let’s pretend, just for a moment, that mobile juggernaut Angry Birds and social darling Draw Something weren’t products of the 21st century, but the 20th. That they weren’t delivered wirelessly, but on floppy disks. This is what they’d look like. I doubt I’m alone in thinking they look better Squirrel Monkey [Squirrel Monkey, via Gizmodo]

  By Luke Plunkett Published April 4, 2012
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  Final Fantasy Meets Assassin’s Creed in this DLC Crossover

  Thought Square Enix was stopping with Mass Effect suits for Final Fantasy XIII-2 downloadable content crossovers? Nope! The latest issue of Japanese game magazine Famitsu shows an Ezio Auditore da Firenze Assassin’s Creed outfit as DLC. The outfit apparently is available for Noel Kreiss, Final Fantasy XIII-2‘s male protagonist. It looks to be Ezio’s outfit…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 4, 2012
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  Jenna Jameson Had No Problem Faking Sex in Front of Her Dad

  Back when Jenna Jameson was still doing porn, she appeared in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City as blue movie actress Candy Suxxx. As recount in the new book Jacked, Jameson showed up to the recording session with her father. For the session, Jameson was motion captured as she was on her back, feigning intercourse. Vice…

  By Brian Ashcraft Published April 4, 2012
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  Uncategorized

  A Ridiculously Over-The-Top Skyrim Music Video

  Some people may think this Skyrim music video is “epic”. Others will think it looks like something you’d see as an intro to a song on Eurovision. Whichever side of that dragon-sized divide you fall, you’ve got to admire the work that went into this performance of the blockbuster RPG’s main theme. If the violinist…

  By Luke Plunkett Published April 4, 2012
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  This Terminator Figure Looks so Real It’ll Ask For Your Clothes, Boots & Motorcycle

  Hot Toys brings the creepy realness once more with this Terminator 2 figure, which aside from some cute little zippers has a likeness to Arnold Schwarzenegger that borders on the terrifying. Standing 12.5″ and coming with a ton of accessories (including gloves, alternate hands, four guns and a detachable hole in his head), the thing’s…

  By Luke Plunkett Published April 4, 2012