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This Game’s Forced Stripping Was a Total Turn Off

I initially had some problems with Valhalla Knights 3 with its Sexy Time system. Still, that didn’t keep me from clocking in well over 120 hours of gameplay time. Just a 120 hours! While I was turned off by the Japanese hostess club-ish game system of paying a cover charge to talk to girls and…

Why You Should Never Buy a Console at Launch

I’ve decided that I don’t want to buy new consoles at launch anymore for a variety of reasons. Many of them are highlighted in this wonderful School House Rock style video. How about you? Game Launch Rock! [brentalfloss@YouTube] To contact the author of this post, write to bashcraftATkotaku.com or find him on Twitter @Brian_Ashcraft

It’s Hard To Play Double Fine’s Dropchord Without Shaking Your Ass

With only a couple of fingers needed to keep the music-based puzzle gameplay of Dropchord flowing, the rest of your body is going to want to move. A shining jewel of the Leap Motion controller launch lineup, Dropchord arrived on iOS and Android last week, trading air poking for the gentle stroking of a touchscreen.…

Remembering The Victims Of Nintendo’s 1990 Fruit Snack Rap Attack

In 1990, children across the U.S. flocked to Nintendo Powerfest events to show their appreciation for the company and its products. Nintendo repaid them by making them dance to the Nintendo Fruit Snacks “rap.” Those with sensitive stomachs may want to look away. The video above features Kotaku reader Robert Leonard and his brother RickyLee.…

The Sunburst Turret Statue Is Portal Collectors’ Only Sunshine

It is our sunshine — our only sunshine. It makes us happy when skies are grey. Then it shoots us, but only because we dared love this $325, lighted, motion-sensing, sound producing Portal 2 turret replica too much. You’d have to love it too much, really. Maybe you already purchased Gaming Heads’ original plain white…

You Need To Watch Adventure Time’s Intro Redone With Legos

Oh my glob, this is amazing—and it definitely sells you on the idea of an Adventure Time Lego set, yeah? I’m surprised it doesn’t exist yet, although it does seem like people are trying to make Lego AT happen. Alas, for now we’ll have to settle for this incredible Adventure Time opening that was redone…

Watch Stephen Colbert Awesomely Rip On MTV For Stealing Daft Punk

It’s a tale as old as time: Beloved TV personality books hot band to appear on his show. Sister network ganks booking, claiming a prior exclusive agreement. Beloved TV personality goes on the air and makes a bunch of excellent jokes at sister network’s expense. Okay, it’s not THAT common a story. But that’s what…

Unofficial Police Quest Comeback Hits a Snag, Switching to Plan B

Precinct, the unofficial successor to the classic adventure game series Police Quest, won’t be coming back through Kickstarter. But the project, which is led by Police Quest creator Jim Walls, will live on. The president of Walls’ development studio, Robert Lindsley, blamed gamer anxiety about Kickstarter: “Like other recent high-profile Kickstarters, we quickly saw that…

Six Unlikely, But Possible Breaking Bad Endings

It’s difficult to abstain from guessing what the ending of Breaking Bad might be, given that the upcoming season is the final season. So many things could happen! The mind races with possibilities. Here are six kind of silly guesses about the ending by Thomas Moser, who poses things like having Walt Jr. take over…

Store Perfectly Illustrates One Of Nintendo’s Biggest Problems…

Spotted by the fine folks over at Vooks, the above drawing, seen in JB Hi-Fi just perfectly illustrates one of the biggest challenges Nintendo has with the perennially struggling Wii U: the mainstream audience that adored the Wii simply doesn’t know that the Wii U exists. And, if they are aware of its existence, they…

Here’s Captain Bubblenaut, a nifty-looking iOS game from veteran designers Dean Tate (BioShock, Dance Central) and Owen Macindoe (MIT GameLab). It’ll be out later this month.

A Wolverine Vs. Predator Face-Off. Bets On Who Wins?

How this crossover is possible, I don’t know. That’s not the important part, people. What you should be asking is, who would win in this mash-up by Aaron Shoenke? The actual answer may surprise you. WOLVERINE vs. PREDATOR – Super Power Beat Down [machinima]

I’ve had my eye on the mind-bending exploration game Mirror Moon since I first saw its creators demonstrating it at the Game Developers Conference a couple of years ago. The game is now up for pre-order through their site, and if you do so you can get in on the beta right now.

Zelda: A Link Between Worlds’ Art Has Gotten…Goofier

This morning, we got a closer look at the world in The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds. What most people didn’t notice, however, was that there was a significant change in Link’s character design, concept art wise—according to Tiny Cartridge, Link seems to have gotten goofier between now and the last time we…

In The Drug War Over Candy, NERF Guns Are The Deadliest Weapons

When you make a deal with the Candy Cartel, you’d better have the money at the ready. Cause if you don’t—if you don’t honor the deal—they’ll off you like you’re a candy-filled piñata. With NERF guns, of course. Does this seem familiar? Maybe you watched FinalCutKing‘s earlier video, depicting office NERF warfare: Nerf War –…

If you somehow want even more Civilization than what’s on offer in the latest expansion for Civ V, you might be interested in reading this lengthy breakdown of XL Games’ Civilization Online MMO over at Massively

There Are Skylanders In This Official Disney Infinity Video. [Update]

Disney Infinity is not a Skylanders clone, but that doesn’t mean the Disney title wasn’t inspired by Activision’s toy-meets-game success story. Heck, three Skylanders toys even showed up for this Disney Infinity “Designing the Figures” video. Update — The video has been removed from the Disney Infinity YouTube channel. We’ve swapped out the original link…

This might be the single greatest “Missed Connection” in Craigslist history. Enjoy.

Your Only Enemy In Teacher Story Is Stupidity

Sure, I like strategy games, and I like them to be turn-based. But this is the first I’ve played that depicts how horrible children are. Why did that kid throw a knife? It doesn’t matter, because I attacked his stupidity with knowledge and now he’s leveled up. You can play Teacher Story for free in…

Kickbeat, Zen Studios’ cool-looking music/fighting game, will be out on PS3 and Vita on September 3rd.