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The Witcher 3 Lets You Have Sex On A Unicorn

Yes, you read that right. A unicorn. Not one that’s alive, mind. A stuffed unicorn! But still: a unicorn. NSFW warning. The GIF above comes from the latest “Clueless Gamer” segment on Conan. I won’t bullshit you: Conan mostly spends his time making childish bad jokes about boning all the women he comes across in…

Nintendo Thinks They’ll Dominate The Garbage Mobile Gaming Market

This week in Japan, Nintendo boss Satoru Iwata made some lofty promises about the company’s plan to make mobile games. “We will strive to expand this business into global markets at a steady pace so that eventually we will entertain hundreds of millions of people all around the world,” he said. “We are aiming to…

Custom Nintendo 64 Is A Fantastic Tribute To Ocarina of Time

Belgian artist Vadu Amka completely covered a Nintendo 64 with a rock and moss motif to transform the console into an artifact from Hyrule. He’s modded N64s before, but the painting and the attention to detail on this one is just so realistic, this could be his best looking one yet. The ancestral gems being…

By March 2017, Nintendo aims to have five titles on smart devices. These will be “carefully” selected. All IPs can be considered.

Today, Nintendo announced it has shipped 10.5 million Amiibos worldwide. With shortages, some fans might say that’s not enough! In case you missed it, check out Kotaku’s opinionpiece on the Amiibo problem.

StarCraft II Mod Turns Game Into Tactical RPG

StarCraft 2 is, most days of the week, a real-time strategy game. Thanks to this mod by greythepirate, though, it can also be a turn-based tactical RPG. You can download it here

Newt Gingrich Wearing Oculus Rift Looks Like A Caption Contest

So go on, have at it. (Pics via Mashable)

The Nightly Show Is Wrong About Final Fantasy

On the May 5 episode of the Nightly Show, there was a gag where a phony set of terms and conditions for agreeing to watch the program were flashed on-screen. If you saw it live you’d have only seen it race flash by, but pausing reveals a politically-charged throwdown. For anyone who can’t read the…

Beautiful Nintendo Games That Deserve To Actually Exist

It’s May, which means it’s time for Japanese game store Meteor to hold its annual Famicase exhibition, an event where artists from all over the world come together to design fake Nintendo games. (Top design by Matthew Kenyon) One day, I’ll actually make the trip and see them in the flesh (there’s a cool little…

Sick Burn, Goat Simulator

Today, the latest expansion for Goat Simulator releases on Steam. It’s a survival game with zombies in it…that totally makes fun of other stereotypical zombie games on Steam. Yeah, it’s kind of having its cake and eating it too. I forgive it, though, because it’s still getting some good chuckles out of me. If you…

Get a Taste of the Big Changes Coming to DC Comics for Free, Right Now

We know some of the big changes coming for Superman and Batman. But there’s a lot more for the DC Universe than just those two superheroes. It’s all changing next month and now you can get a sense of what that will look like, without paying a cent. This week marks the second month of…

eBay Taking Down Auctions Selling PS4s With P.T.

You cannot download P.T. anymore, and you can’t sell a PlayStation 4 pre-loaded with the horror game, either. If you search for P.T. and PS4 on eBay right now, almost nothing comes up. A few hours ago, however, and you would have found a bunch of people hoping to capitalize on the game’s newfound scarcity,…

PAX Prime tickets are now on sale. They’ll be sold out in roughly five seconds, so if you want’em, get’em now

Next Assassin’s Creed To Be Announced Next Week; Now Called Syndicate

Ubisoft will officially announce the next Assassin’s Creed on Tuesday, May 12, the publisher said today. If you read Kotaku, you already know a lot about it:this year’s AC game is set in Victorian Londonand, if early footage is anything to go by, will let you use a grappling hook and fight on carriages, among…

The Sims Creator Now Wants You to Make Stories Out of Your Own Life

It’s probably not a surprise that the man who created The Sims and SimCity wants you to make stories out of your life. His most famous creations let players spin bizarre melodramas from how they managed (or fiendishly ignored) the needs of either an entire city or a single family. But, Wright’s next big project…

Dark Souls 2’s Most Annoying Bug, Finally Patched One Year Later

It’s taken From Software more than a year, but it’s addressed the durability bug that’s plagued Dark Souls 2 since its release in early 2014. A patch went live for the PC version of Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin this morning, and while there are no official patch notes, it appears to…

The Amiibo Problem

I do not think it is possible to like the entirety of a corporation. Take Nintendo, for example. I like the part of Nintendo that makes Zelda games and, with less alacrity, Metroid games. I do not very much like the part of Nintendo that loves to sell plastic. And, boy, does Nintendo love to…

Splatoon Demo Available Now, But You Can Only Play At Certain Times

You know what? Splatoon is looking pretty great, and I can’t wait to try out the demo (which really sounds like a server stress test) in the next few days. As part of a Nintendo Direct for the May release, Nintendo revealed a bunch of news: Most importantly, a “global testfire” demo is available to…

Why World of Warcraft Lost So Many Subscribers

World of Warcraft subscriptions are down from 10 million to 7.1 million, Blizzard said during a financial earnings call yesterday. A record amount of people unsubscribed in the first three months of this year. This drop is particularly unusual because it happened right after a huge increase in subscribers. MMO-Champion’s graph shows the timeline well:…

Wasteland 2 is getting a slew of upgrades on Xbox One and PlayStation 4, but inXile’s revealed PC, Mac, and Linux owners will get those upgrades for free. The game will be getting updated graphics, new voice overs, gameplay tweaks, and more. You can reach the author of this post at [email protected] or on Twitter…