A Robot Sex Doll. From The Future.

This incredible animated gif doing the rounds this week (though first published in February) is taken from Paragon Sexa Doll (パラゴンセクサドール Doll), a Japanese “visual novel” developed by Heart Soft and released in the early 80s on the NEC PC-8801, a primitive PC that was pretty big in Japan. Visual novels are barely games; like…

Phone Controls Suck. Let’s Use a PS3 Controller Instead.

Unless the game has been designed with touch-screen (or tilt) controls in mind, moving around in mobile game is often an exercise in pain and frustration. So much so that I want to find the man/woman who first invented the virtual d-pad and set their hands on fire. Not to worry. There’s always the GameKlip,…

Phantasy Star Online 2 Bans Overseas Players. Sorry Foreigners! [Update]

Players outside of Japan have been enjoying online role-playing game Phantasy Star Online 2. Those days are over. Until its Western release, the game is now Japan only. Sega updated its terms of usage today, dropping this bombshell for PS02 players outside Japan: “Connecting to the game server through the installed software is restricted to…

A Computer Made These Polygon Faces. Warning: Nightmares Ahead.

These images are what happens when you combine a a random polygon generator with a “facial recognition algorithm”. Which means the generator keeps generating until the recognition algorithm detects a face. Then it keeps running while it tries to automatically improve it. To…mixed results. In short: it’s a million virtual chimps drawing a million virtual…

What a Real Mario Brother Would Look Like

Mario has a giant cap for a reason: so Nintendo didn’t need to animate his hair or eyebrows. That was back in the 1980s, though; if Mario was being designed now – or, heaven’s forbid, being redesigned – there’s every chance he’d look a little more realistic. Maybe not this realitic, though, which would be…

Minesweeper and Solitaire Now Have Achievements. Sigh.

Well, this is depressing. In preparation for the release of Windows 8, Microsoft is updating some of the platform’s stalwart titles, like Minesweeper, Solitaire and Majong. Updating them with achievements. Minesweeper, for example, has four of them. Four. One is for finishing a board, and one is for losing a round. Solitaire has 3. Presumably…

I Read Game of Thrones. I Watched Game of Thrones. And So I Will Read This Behind-The-Scenes Book About Game of Thrones.

There aren’t too many TV series that I’d go out and actually buy a book about, but HBO’s Game of Thrones is one of them. This mini-documentary about the making of a book highlighting the work of the art teams that bring George R.R. Martin’s world to life has sold me. Just imagining whose job…

Some of the Greatest Video Game Pictures You’ll Ever See

If you’ve been reading Kotaku for a while, you may already be familiar with the name Genzoman. Or, as his mother knows him, Gonzalo Ordoñez Arias. The Chilean illustrator, part of the illustrious Udon Crew, is responsible for some of the most amazing video game images on the internet. Some of them were clearly drawn…

This Guy Reckons He’s Made Over $10,000 Playing Diablo III

As soon as Blizzard announced its real-money auction house for Diablo III, no doubt millions of gamers around the world began fantasising that they’d be able to make some serious money on the service. Well, this guy claims he already is. Reddit user WishboneTheDog has posted screencaps of his transaction history, which if legit show…

Those Wii U cover designs we looked at yesterday? According to Ubisoft, they’re the real deal

This is $450 Worth of Pure Twilight Princess Evil

Okay, technically this is $475 worth of evil, as this is the exclusive version of First 4 Figures’ 1/4 Scale “Master Arts” Ganondorf Center Piece, which comes with an additional laughing head, but you get the point. Now that First 4 Figures has gotten Wolf Link, Link with Epona and Zant out of the way,…

Should Video Game Fans Care More About Sports?

Sometimes it feels like gaming has two camps: Those who play sports games, and those who don’t. It’s not unlike the jocks and nerds in high school, really. Could non-sports gamers find something to love in sports games? Should Mass Effect players give Madden a shot? How do sports tell stories, and how are story-based…

The Father of Video Games Explained The All-Purpose Multimedia Home Console… in 1973

Ralph Baer basically invented video games. During the 1960s, when television itself was still fairly newfangled, he was piecing together how the first video game console, launched in 1972, could work. It wasn’t just video games that Baer figured out, though. The folks over at Gamasutra have shared this 30-minute video from a German computer…

Get A Load Of This Amazing Angry Birds Slingshot Controller

One of the reasons that Angry Birds is such a success is that it just feels good to play. Particularly on touchscreen devices, the feeling of pulling back the angry bird and letting ‘er rip is uniquely satisfying. But even a touch screen is no substitute for actual tactile feedback. If you use this tangible…

On August 19, Scott Pilgrim (a game released in 2010) will get online multiplayer and a new character

4 Tips For A Better Date, Courtesy of The Sims

So I was playing the upcoming Sims expansion, The Sims 3: Supernatural, at the EA Summer Showcase last week. Here’s the thing: I’d never played The Sims before. I sure learned a lot about how to go on a better date though! Tip #1: Know how to control yourself before you go on out on…

Kotaku Hardware Battles: MMO Gaming Mice

Massively multiplayer online gamers have different needs than those of first-person shooter or real-time strategy fans. They need social interaction. They need extremely comfortable chairs. They need all of the Cheetos. But most of all they need buttons. So many buttons. PC peripheral manufacturers have sensed this need and have responded with specialized MMO mice…

Here’s The Three-Part Legend of Zelda Western You’ve Been Waiting For

Last week, we showed you the trailer for A Fistful of Rupees, the Zelda/Western mash-up directed by YouTube film group The Game Station. Here’s the full thing. Above is Episode 1 – The Wisdom. Episodes 2 and 3 are below. Enjoy. Episode 2 – The Power Episode 3 – The Courage

Watch A Live Stream of Sleeping Dogs Right Here

If you’re as anxious as I am to get your hands—er, eyes—on Sleeping Dogs, you can watch the folks over at Machinima play through the game live, right here. Personally, I’m going to ignore everything about this game since it’s currently sitting snug in my bag waiting to be opened and devoured.

They’re not just adding head-to-head multiplayer to SSX today. EA’s new, free title update adds no-stress free-riding.