Dear Bethesda, I'm an Imbecile. Love, Owen

Illustration for article titled Dear Bethesda, I'm an Imbecile. Love, Owen

To: Luke
From: Owen
Re: E3: It Never Ends


As painful as this is to share with the entire readership, I feel it is appropriate to take ownership of my dumbassery, because lord knows tech support managers put up with enough of it.

I finally downloaded Operation: Anchorage for Fallout 3 on Friday. Had a bit of a problem getting it to work; kept clicking and clicking but nothing was happening. So, I fired off a message to Bethesda tech support.

Like most forms of asshattery, this one was hubris-fueled, because I ... (looks away) ... used my Kotaku email address as the reply-to, figuring that'd get someone's attention fast. Some people know how I have been a category 5 asshole about this sort of thing; fortunately I didn't send one of those emails but I still Tweeted about it, kinda sniffily. Well I got results. Saturday evening I got a prompt reply, politely holding my own ignorance up to a mirror.

Operation: Anchorage, of course, is not an add-on in the sense that it continues after your last mission. This is an open-world game, right? So it would make sense that it just opens up another spot on your map. If I bothered to read my own site, I'd know that. Hell, if I had played the game when the rest of the free world was discovering it, I would have known that. These guys at Bethesda tech support must get a thousand such n00b complaints a day, and here's Mr. Important Kotaku-Mans doing it on the company email.

So, Bethesda: I'm sorry I can't follow simple instructions. I realize I'm probably an office joke right now. But realize also that, in this game, I can invade that office. And I have a gatling laser.


Some highlights while you were getting back from E3:

Halo Wars, 7th Guest Dev Lands Job at Apple
'Nine Games That Went Too Far' Doesn't Go Very Far Itself
Hacked Ms. Pac-Man ROM Wins Hand in Marriage
Billy Mitchell Denies and Denounces Taunting Tweets
L4D Sequel Met with Much More than Indifference
Monday Means iPhone News, Confirmation of Apple's Gaming Push
Miyamoto Laughs (Kinda) at Other Motion Control Projects


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