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Kotaku Off Topic: Oh, To Unsee

*Grumble Grumble* Oh, it’s Kotaku Off Topic time? I suppose we should get together and have some non-video game related discussion. It may make this Monday a little easier to forget. Perhaps we’re in need of those clean memory wiping services as fictionalized in movies like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Hell, I’ll even…

By Michael McWhertor Published May 17, 2010

Splinter Cell: Conviction Gets Deniable Ops ‘Insurgency’ On May 27

Ubisoft is giving Splinter Cell Conviction a surge of fresh Deniable Ops, pricing and dating the Xbox 360 and PC game’s first batch of downloadable content for next week. For 800 Microsoft Points or $9.99, Splinter Cell Conviction fans will get four new maps for their troubles set in locales ranging “from the docks of…

By Michael McWhertor Published May 17, 2010

Mass Effect 2’s Planet Scanning Thrills Now More ‘Optimized’

The intergalactic hunt for minerals may not be Mass Effect 2’s most marketable feature, but BioWare’s latest update to the Xbox 360 version of the sci-fi role-playing game has “optimized” its mundane planet scanning, resulting in many happy players. “Scanning for minerals has been optimized” may sound vague, but the small change has been met…

By Michael McWhertor Published May 17, 2010

How Did You Get Fired From GameStop?

As seen on Joystick Division

By Mike Fahey Published May 17, 2010

A Clearer Look At El Shaddai: Ascension Of The Metatron

For another glimpse at Ignition’s El Shaddai: Ascension Of The Metatron, the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 game that could use a punchier title, come here. See how the unusual looking game with a Devil May Cry pedigree is shaping up. We’ll have to wait until E3 to get a more up close and personal…

By Michael McWhertor Published May 17, 2010

What Makes Spider-man Amazing? What Makes Him Noir?

Activision’s suiting up its Spider-man license again with the hopefully does not suck Spider-man: Shattered Dimensions. In one reality Spider-man’s stealthy. In another, he appears he may have been bitten by a radioactive Kratos. We’re still not clear on the alternate dimensions that old Spidey will find himself in—although the 2099 universe looks like a…

By Michael McWhertor Published May 17, 2010

Bionic Commando, Dark Void Last Straws For Capcom

After not one, but two Western-developed sales blunders, Capcom is planning to stick with its home turf. Capcom’s president, Haruhiro Tsujimoto, tells the Financial Times that the company is giving up on developing new franchise titles in the West after the catastrophic sales of two of its attempts, Bionic Commando and Dark Void. Predicted to…

By Lauren Orsini Published May 17, 2010

Am I A Wake?

To: Bash From: Crecente Re: The Lunch I Made? Just Awful, Horrible And Rotten I flew in to LA last night for this week’s Game Critics pre-E3 judging. Met up with MTV’s Russ Frushtick for dinner at a Santa Monica Italian bistro and spent a chunk of the meal discussing Alan Wake. I can’t wait…

By Brian Crecente Published May 17, 2010

Rumor: ‘Premium’ Version Of PlayStation Network Unveiled At E3

Sony may finally be ready to make a little more cash from its PlayStation Network, with rumors that the PlayStation 3 maker will introduce a “premium” option at this year’s E3 popping up weeks before the big video game expo. According to a report from VG247, one part of Sony’s E3 showing will focus on…

By Michael McWhertor Published May 17, 2010

iTunes Chart Toppers: Zombie Infestations

It looks like Resident Evil, but it’s not Resident Evil. And it joins the other zombie games that are big on iPhones and iPads on this week’s charts. Here’s the full list of games for both platforms: Which do you think should be the top game? Check out all of our iPhone game reviews iPhone…

By Stephen Totilo Published May 17, 2010

Lessons Of The Mario Kart Cheaters

The more people play Mario Kart online with their friends, the less often they cheat — at least under their own name. That’s the finding of an expert on the psychology of games and the group tracking online Mario Kart. Last week I spoke to Jamie Madigan, a blogger and gamer with a PhD in…

By Stephen Totilo Published May 17, 2010

Metal Slug XX & Aqua Double Up The Shooting Action On Live Arcade This Week

Get ready to enjoy two heavy doses of heavy metal shoot ’em up action on Xbox Live Arcade this week as Metal Slug XX and Aqua digitally ship for the platform this Wednesday. Metal Slug XX costs a cool 1200 Microsoft Points, but gives Metal Slug fans more of that side-scrolling heavy machine gunning they…

By Michael McWhertor Published May 17, 2010

Gears of War Designer On Gears 2’s ‘Masturbating’ Problem

It’s not every day that you get to hear Gears of War designer Cliff Bleszinski talk video game masturbation. Today, however, is that day. Lucky you! “I’ll always be a staunch and loyal supporter of everything we do, but at the same time, as a creative, I always know we can do better,” Bleszinski said…

By Brian Ashcraft Published May 17, 2010

Vote for the TV Set That’s Begging to Be Reduced to a Pile of Debris

Thanks to all who entered the Split/Second Faux Destructo Contest. We got some delightful suggestions for TV sets that you’d like to drive through and destroy, a la Split/Second. Your top ten nominees, complete with compelling arguments, await! Entry 1: Little House on the Prairie If i had a chance to drive through a set…

By Gawkercreative Published May 17, 2010

Sunny Days, Beating Your Cares Away

Five of the many Sesame Street Fighters to spring from the twisted mind of Deviant artist Gavacho13, as seen on Capcom Unity

By Mike Fahey Published May 17, 2010

In Ghost Trick, First You Die – Then You Have Fun

You can have your Gran Turismos. The GT that I’ve been anticipating playing again since I first tried it last week is Ghost Trick. The new DS game comes from Shu Takumi, the creator of the Ace Attorney games, Capcom’s chatty and funny courtroom dramas. Our boss Brian Crecente already played it, in Hawaii last…

By Stephen Totilo Published May 17, 2010

Blizzard Ends StarCraft II Beta In Two Weeks

StarCraft II players currently on the free multiplayer gravy train are in for a bit of good news/bad news. First the bad: StarCraft II’s multiplayer beta is nearing its end and will shut down May 31. The good news? After a hiatus planned to last “several weeks while [Blizzard] make[s] some hardware and software configuration…

By Michael McWhertor Published May 17, 2010

Sony’s VP Of Trash-Talking Sony’s CEO

What happens when Sony’s hilarious mouthpiece Kevin Butler goes head to head against Sony Computer Entertainment America’s CEO and President Jack Tretton in ModNation Racers? “Tell me more, grown-up child actor.” Kevin Butler hams it up in this extended commercial for ModNation Racers, discussing his success, creativity, and ham sandwiches, at least until SCEA CEO…

By Mike Fahey Published May 17, 2010

Microsoft Calls Natal Pricing “Pure Speculation”

A Swedish retailer priced Microsoft’s codenamed Project Natal body-control sensor system at $200. But, today, Microsoft’s Xbox 360 director of product management, Aaron Greenberg shot down any pricing reports, via Twitter: “Retailers are not yet aware of pricing details for Project Natal & pre-order pricing is pure speculation.” The Xbox 360 maker is, of course,…

By Stephen Totilo Published May 17, 2010

Couple Married By Robot, Can Death Ray Divorce Be Far Behind?

These science posts at Kotaku give me an opportunity to talk about something near and dear to my heart: The Robot menace. A Japanese couple being married by a robot? What if it misinterprets “til death do us part?” The Japanese love their robots. They’ve been making them for ages, from toys on up to…

By Mike Fahey Published May 17, 2010