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You Will Wish That Gnome Chompski: The Game Is Real

The pint-sized ceramic co-star of Valve’s Left 4 Dead 2 may be deserving of his own video game, as evidenced by the trailer for the sadly nonexistent Gnome Chompski: The Game. Expertly crafted in Garry’s Mod by the folk(s) at Fine Leather Jackets, Gnome Chompski: The Game has everything we now demand of our video…

By Michael McWhertor Published March 28, 2011

I Have Had It With These Monkey Fighting Snakes

Wow, today has been a busy one! Not only did a Nintendo 3DS show up at Kotaku Towers West—as promised by Amazon.com—we booked a ton of video game previews for the next few weeks. (Oh, this is an open thread, by the way. Not sure if the video game talk distracted you.) There’s a lot…

By Michael McWhertor Published March 28, 2011

Pretty Sure Someone’s About To Get Whacked With A Dildo Bat In New Saints Row: The Third Screens

The third Saints Row video game clearly won’t take itself too seriously, judging by newly released media from Saints Row: The Third. The evidence? Screen shots featuring streetwalkers in bikinis fleeing from exploding cop cars and luchadore mask-wearing thugs on the business end of a huge purple phallus. Game Informer has our first online look…

By Michael McWhertor Published March 28, 2011

Nintendo Suggests You Send Them Your Frozen, Your Locked Up 3DS Systems

System freezes are starting to crop up on an unknown number of Nintendo’s new 3DS portables. While we don’t know how frequent the problem is, it’s happening enough for Nintendo to include the issue on their official troubleshooting site. According to Nintendo.com, System freezes that result in a white screen, black screen or inability to…

By Brian Crecente Published March 28, 2011

Sony Scraps Launch Of Its PlayStation Rewards Program

Sony’s plans to reward its most devoted video game-loving customers with the PlayStation Rewards program appear to have changed. According to an e-mail sent to participants in the PlayStation Rewards beta, the customer loyalty program won’t launch next month as planned. And, suggested by the wording of that e-mail, it may not launch ever. PlayStation…

By Michael McWhertor Published March 28, 2011

Post Quake, Japanese Game Maker Cancels All Disaster Report Titles

In the wake of Japan’s devastating earthquake and tsunami, publisher Irem canceled its catastrophe survival adventure Disaster Report 4, a game that was due to hit Japanese PlayStation 3s this Spring. Now it’s halting production of every other Disaster Report game. Andriasang, citing Japanese retailer Famicom Plaza, reports that the PlayStation 2 and PSP releases…

By Michael McWhertor Published March 28, 2011

The Brothers Mario 2 Commits Grand Theft Auto In Donkey Kong Country

The amazing mash up that blended Grand Theft Auto’s cinematic violence with Super Mario Bros. lore, The Brothers Mario, has spawned a sequel. This time, in The Brothers Mario 2, the fight goes to Donkey Kong Country. The Brothers Mario 2: Kong Country pits a more streetwise and strapped Mario, Luigi, Toad and Yoshi against…

By Michael McWhertor Published March 28, 2011

Launch Was a Go

Launch | Actress Clare Grant (L) attends Nintendo 3DS exclusive launch event at Siren Studios on March 26, 2011 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Chris Weeks/Getty Images for Nintendo) Bedtime Stories The Pros and Cons of Early 3DS Ownership Being a fan of technology and gee-whiz gadgets can take its toll on your bank account…

By Brian Crecente Published March 28, 2011

Prepare For Mass Effect 2‘s ‘Arrival’ With This Hype Video

Tomorrow, March 29 brings Mass Effect 2‘s final batch of downloadable content, Arrival, for the PC, PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360. Whip yourself into an anticipation lather by watching its launch trailer right here, right now. Arrival is said to set the stage for BioWare’s next big role-playing game, Mass Effect 3, slated for release…

By Michael McWhertor Published March 28, 2011

Summon Some Scribblenauts Toys For Your Collection

5th Cell’s inventive puzzle-platformer Scribblenauts will be coming to vinyl toy and plushie form later this year, thanks to bobblehead and action figure experts Funko. Maxwell in fabric and vinyl form is now available for pre-order at fine toy resellers. Funko also has plans to release superdeformed versions of characters from Halo: Reach and Mortal…

By Michael McWhertor Published March 28, 2011

Grab The Darkspore Beta Through Steam Now

Steam makes it easy to get into the beta program for Maxis’ Spore spin-off Darkspore. Just head to the Steam web site and install. Darkspore was recently delayed until the end of April.

By Michael McWhertor Published March 28, 2011

Final Fantasy III Is The Best And Most Expensive Final Fantasy On The iPhone

Square Enix has finally made the third game in the Final Fantasy series available on the iPhone, and it’s pretty damn good. Is it $15.99 worth of good? Final Fantasy III was released in 1990 in Japan for the Famicom, not to be confused with North America’s Final Fantasy III, which was actually Final Fantasy…

By Mike Fahey Published March 28, 2011

Multiplayer God of War In The Works?

Sony wants to hire someone for their God of War team who could, according to a job listing at Gamasutra, handle “Designing and implementing systems and tools to support networking needs (such as in-game communication, client-server, match-making, leaderboards).” Hmmm. Whatever could they be planning for the popular but previously single-player God of War series? Or…

By Stephen Totilo Published March 28, 2011

The 105 Loading Screens Of 3D Dot Game Heroes

I loved the cube-based art-style of 3D Dot Game Heroes, but I didn’t love the game. And who loves loading screens? Vimeo user David Kupfer solves almost all of my problems at once by compiling the 105 loading screens from 3D Dot Game Heroes. I like looking at them more than I liked playing this…

By Stephen Totilo Published March 28, 2011

Team Fortress 2 Now Ideal For Mid-Air Ninja Battles

After the release of the Shogun Pack for Team Fortress 2—tied to the release of The Creative Assembly’s Total War: Shogun 2—it didn’t take long for the TF2 community to extract its true worth: recreating kung-fu movie and anime tropes like the high-flying mid-air sword fight. See Soldiers and Demos settle their differences with the…

By Michael McWhertor Published March 28, 2011

Falling Out Of Love With The Xbox 360 Kinect

“That’s it. I am never playing a Kinect game again.” I said this under my breath at a recent game expo, after surviving what I deemed my last controller-free gaming experience. Obviously this was an emotional overreaction, but the reasoning behind my Hulk-Smash attitude was sound. I’ve always excelled at making a complete ass of…

Lisa Foiles Published March 28, 2011

Just One ‘Amore’ Katamari Damacy For The Pile?

Namco Bandai, the people who brought you Katamari Damacy, We ♥ Katamari, Me & My Katamari, Beautiful Katamari and Katamari Forever, may be hard at work on another entry in the thing-rolling genre. Siliconera spied new trademarks for “Katamari amore” and “Katamari amore Rolling Whopper,” potentially a new… 3DS game? NGP game? Or just an…

By Michael McWhertor Published March 28, 2011

“Hey, Listen”: Navi, Link, and Zelda in a Bizarre Love Triforce

Adorable expert of adorability Meekakitty’s latest jam is a morose take on what it must be like to be Navi. Which is to say: Sad, then slightly stalkery, then mostly dead.

By Joel Johnson Published March 28, 2011

Only Magicka Could Support Official Bathrobes

When you’re done bathing in the blood of your enemies in Arrowhead Game Studios’ PC RPG Magicka, towel off and slip on one of these lovely official bathrobes, now available for preorder at $85 a pop, as seen on GameGavel

By Mike Fahey Published March 28, 2011

3DS’s Friend List Messaging Is the Worst of Facebook, Twitter

Gamers may be a bit confused about how exactly owners of Nintendo’s 3DS portable are supposed to communicate with one another on the system. After spending the weekend trying to figure it out on my own, I finally bugged Nintendo directly about it. Turns out that, according to the company, the little status message that…

By Brian Crecente Published March 28, 2011