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Backhanded Box Quotes: ‘A Flushed Turd Down a Toilet Drain’

Welcome back to “Backhanded Box Quotes,” a collection of measured, thoughtful, sometimes plagiarized criticism from the user reviews of Metacritic and elsewhere. This week, well, what can we say. Resident Evil 6 released to a critical bloodbath. Metacritic counts 2,688 negative consumer reviews—not all of them written—for this title, and it’s not just because people…

Crazy Expectations of a Console That Didn’t Deserve Its Third Chance to Fail

If you never saw Crazy People, a 1990 film starring Dudley Moore, I highly recommend it. Basically, an advertising agency is taken over by the insane, who decide that honesty—the anathema of marketing—is now the best policy. Volvos are sold as “boxy, but they’re good.” Another stunt offers “a free plant for fat slobs.” And…

Hitman: Absolution‘s Weirdest Trailer Made Even Weirder With Claymation Cats

Weird? Yes. Also awesome? Yes yes. Fahey had a few bones to pick with the “Attack of the Saints” E3 trailer released for Hitman: Absolution. Most likely because there were no cats in claymation to play out the slow-motion death sequence. Thankfully leehardcastle is here to change that. And for comparison’s sake, the original is…

Tuesday’s Patch Might Be the Greatest in Madden History. Of Course, It Was Still Necessary

The good-news/bad-news tradeoff is that Madden NFL 13 is getting a ton of significant fixes and capabilities with a patch rolling out on Tuesday. Of course, consumers are right to say these features should have been in the game all along. Still, the number of changes coming at least speak to a development team listening…

Faced With NHL 13‘s ‘Hercules Check’ Glitch, EA Sports Steps Up and Owns It

Last week brought us the “Hercules Check,” evidently a glitch in which a skater could park his man six rows deep in the stands if he hip-checked him by the door during a line change. EA Sports, in an oh-fish-ee-al video, has now stepped forward to say, “Yeah, we meant to do that.” Tongue-in-cheek of…

World of Warcraft-Playing Candidate: ‘I’m A Real Person’

Editor’s note: This piece was republished with permission from NBC News InGame Colleen Lachowicz is a long-time health care worker who works with teens and young adults. She is a wife and a step-mom. And she likes to knit. But this week, the 48-year-old Lachowicz — who is running as a Democrat for the State…

From Anime Weight Loss to Monochrome Fish: It’s the Week in Gaming Apps

What a long, strange trip the past five days in gaming apps has been, beginning with a big-eyed passionate plea for healthy exercise and ending in a strange world of shadow sea creatures, with a little LEGO thrown in for good measure. It never ceases to amaze me, the astounding variety of gaming available on…

Eight Wild Reviews Appear to Rate Pokemon Black and White 2

Pokémon Black 2 and Pokémon White 2 make a neatly matched set of entries into one of the most venerable (and most predictable) of game franchises. The pair are direct sequels to the Black and White of 2011. That’s a good amount of time to make tweaks to a tried-and-true formula. But are the updates…

Booth Babes Weren’t the Only Embarrassment at the Eurogamer Expo [UPDATE 6]

There’s being funny. And then there’s being whatever FIFA-loving YouTube video game commentator JJ “KSIOlajidebt” Olatunji was in the video up top. When we last covered the exploits of Olatunji, he was encouraging his 600,000 or so YouTube channel subscribers to e-mail Kotaku to help highlight his frustations with Machinima.com, the gaming site and channel…

A Tanooki Suit Hoodie Sounds Like a Cute Idea, But The Result Is Kind of Creepy

Maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s the model’s gleeful pose. Or maybe it’s the waggling tail. Whatever the case, this hoodie from 80s tees, is kind of weirdly off-putting. The “racanooki” top is inspired by the classic raccoon-styled Tanooki Suit that Mario can fly around with in Super Mario Bros 3. Wearers can indeed flap their…

Here Are A Bunch Of Ladies Dancing In Silly Clothing Because of Just Dance 4

I knew that dance games, like Ubisoft’s Just Dance series, took an extraordinary amount of motion capture and choreography. But I admit that I never stopped to think about the costumed characters on-screen. Not only does the team have to capture dancers in motion… they need to outfit the dancers, too. This behind-the-scenes look at…

Wonderful indie platformer Thomas Was Alone is 50% off today. Everyone needs to play Mike Bithell’s game so go get it.

These People Have No Clue About The Wii U

Some of the people in this man-on-street Game Informer video don’t know what the Wii U is. Some are pretty sure it’s a college thing. You know, like Wii University or something. Does The Public Know About Wii U? [Game Informer]

It’s Time For Japanese Developers To Stop Hoarding Their RPGs

When I think about all the role-playing games released in Japan that never make their way to U.S. shores, I like to picture a snarling dragon sitting atop a pile of game cartridges, spitting fire at anyone who comes within breathing distance. Hey Japan. Time to stop hoarding your gold. This is not a new…

Free-to-Play Mini Heroes is Several Different RPGs in a Single package

It’s a little bit Pokémon, a dash of Harvest Moon and a small slice of old school Final Fantasy. It’s also a bit difficult to navigate and a little buggy, but that shouldn’t stop you from giving Mini Heroes a go. Released today on Facebook, Mini Heroes from Likwid Games aims to please all of…

This Comic Book Artist’s Skyrim-Themed Basement Is Straight Out of Tamriel

Tyler Kirkham already spends lots of time in giant fantasy worlds. The comics illustrator has worked on Green Lantern, Transformers and The Darkness series in recent years, with contributions to game-centric adaptations like Tomb Raider and Legacy of Kain But all that drawing was apparently not enough to satiate Kirkham’s geeky desires. So he built…

That Amazing Super Skyrim Bros. Mod Is Now Available

And there’s an official trailer to go along with it. If you read Stephen’s post showing off the awesome-looking Skyrim mod, you might be pleased to hear that clintmich’s mod is now officially available as of last week There are still a few known issues, but who wouldn’t want to trek through the Mushroom Kingdom,…

Really Smart Counter Strike: Global Offensive Bots Jump Off Of Buildings Together

I guess it’s what all the cool bots are doing these days. That, or they’re reenacting Lemmings, as the video’s music will imply. CS:GO Bots are essentially Lemmings. [YouTube via Reddit]

The Ultimate PlayStation Mobile Launch Game Guide

Earlier this week Sony unleashed 20 (mostly) new games on PlayStation Mobile, the new indie game delivery platform for the PlayStation Vita and PlayStation Certified devices. That’s a lot of games to take in all at once, so we did it for you. We played every game available on PlayStation Mobile so you didn’t have…

The Opening Cinematic for the New James Bond Game Has the Golden Touch

This year marks 50 years of James Bond movies. Activision’s upcoming 007 Legends game will be weaving together several of the iconic super-spy’s cinematic adventures into one playable experience. The video above is 007 Legends’s opening credit sequence, which channels the vibe—and gold-dipped love interest—of Goldfinger. There’s some modern electro touches to the classic Goldfinger…