While I'm looking forward to Denpa Men, a new downloadable RPG for the eShop that sort of looks like a cross between Pikmin and Dragon Quest, I would strongly urge the folks behind the game to reconsider the above marketing campaign. This is the type of stuff that traumatizes kids for life.

With all eyes on Nintendo's reveal of the Wii U price and release date for North America this morning, a gem like Endgame Studios' Fractured Soul for the 3DS eShop might get lost in the shuffle, but not here.

Listen, I love Prince of Persia. With all that lovely animation and derring-do, Jordan Mechner's adventure games are well-loved for good reason. For those wanting to re-visit PoP's charms, the Wii Virtual Console get the 1992 SNES version.

In Africa Unleashed 3D for the Nintendo 3DS you charged into Africa to hunt wild animals like the leopard, rhino and elephant, bringing more than 30 weapons to bear on 15 different types of wild beast. Shouldn't this be called Hunter Unleashed 3D?

With Sunday seeing the debut of New Super Mario Bros. 2, the first Nintendo-published title launched simultaneously at retail and in digital form, a game would have to be some sort of crazy chicken pirate to try and muscle in on this week's Nintendo Download. So yeah, Mario and two games named Crazy Chicken: Pirate.

It's an incredibly short week for the Nintendo Download, but that just makes Circle Entertainment's follow-up to the compelling DSiWare action-adventure The Lost Town: The Dust more of a chance to shine. Stare into the eyes of the red-headed killer.

With free 3DS demos for Rhythm Thief & the Emperor's Treasure and Kingdom Hearts 3D [Dream Drop Distance] in the eShop this week, no one needs to spend a single penny to have a hell of a time with this week's Nintendo Download.

Last week it was a Mario Kart patch, this week it's a version update, with new content added to WayForward Technologies' Mighty Switch Force inching the 3DS eShop ever closer to iTunes territory.

The Wii Virtual Console springs back to life this week with two classic games from the fine folks at Sega, including one that never even made it stateside. Time for some old school action role-playing!

Everyone remembers the original Kid Icarus, right? The classic platformer everyone begged Nintendo for a sequel to? What do you mean you never played it?

Which of this week's three downloadable Nintendo games is worth a second glance? I'll give you a hint: It's not Carmen Sandiego's latest math adventure or the poker game. That's right, it's... oh damn, you've fallen asleep.

The Nintendo Download ends the year on a high note with the release of Terry Cavanagh 's indie darling VVVVVV on the 3DS eShop, adding a 3D twist to the game's already twisted gravity platforming.

Twas three days before Christmas and all through the Nintendo Download fresh new games both big and small tried desperately to outshine the majesty that is the original Game Boy version of Tetris.

If you're tired of the rash of high definition, modern-day lawn mower video games that have been flooding the market in recent years, get ready for a grass trimming simulation that takes you 60 years into the past. It's the Nintendo Download, people!

There's a sexy side-scrolling combat platformer based on a Spanish fantasy setting that's been described as the JRPG of pen-and-paper role-playing? Where the hell did I put those WiiWare points?

Keep your hopes low, people. Nintendo has gone and updated their virtual shops again with new games that it's tough to be excited about.

After last week's double team of Zelda and Mario, I wasn't sure if I could take the excitement of another big Nintendo Download. Turns out I had nothing to worry about.

After several weeks of completely forgettable downloadable game offerings, Nintendo drops a free Zelda game, a Super Mario sequel, and a particularly intriguing WiiWare title, all at once. I might faint!

We've got ourselves a new 3D classic in this week's Nintendo Download.... TwinBee. Remember TwinBee? Konami shooter? Only released in Japan?

Another week has passed, and once more Nintendo has brought us an amazing lineup of downloadable goodies! Mega Man for the Game Boy! Bridge! That other game! Excitement!