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OpinionImpressionsIn My Sims World Of Only Women, Marge Simpson Is Married To Taylor Swift
I’ll let you in on a secret: I only work in the games industry to bring it down from the inside, like the insidious woman-spy I am! Bwahaha! Mine is an evil laugh! Turns out that all those threads about me on various terrible corners of the internet had it right all along, and I’m…
By Kate Gray -
OpinionImpressionsThe Fire Emblem: Three Houses Battle System Is Elegant In Its Complexity
At its best, combat in Fire Emblem games is like an elegant game of chess. At its worst, it’s a morass of numbers that don’t feel like they mean anything. Three Houses leans more closely to the former than the latter, though it’s also easy to get lost in statistics and variables. Allow me to…
By Gita Jackson -
OpinionImpressionsBlazing Chrome Is A Fine Love Letter To 16-Bit Contra
I didn’t know I needed more Contra III in my life until I started playing Blazing Chrome The run-and-gun action platformer, out today on PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Switch, and PC, is set against a backdrop of a futuristic world in which humanity has been overrun by an army of evil cyborgs. Blazing Chrome succeeds…
By Ethan Gach -
OpinionImpressionsA Mario Maker Level Where Mario Has Post-War PTSD
Oh, you’ve been playing nearly impossible kaizo levels or 20-second speedruns? Sounds great. Me, I just played a Super Mario Maker 2 level where Mario comes back from the army with PTSD. Mario Maker is not the best storytelling medium. In fact, Nintendo goes out of its way to make it difficult to create a…
By Chris Kohler -
OpinionImpressionsThe Messenger’s New Island DLC Is A Perfect Substitute For A Day At The Beach
It’s already mid-July, and I still haven’t made it to the beach. Maybe you haven’t either. The Messenger’s free Picnic Panic expansion can fix that. You won’t actually hear seafoam waves crashing along the shore or feel the grainy piles of hot sand beneath your feet, but Picnic Panic’s bright colors, catchy new chiptune-inspired melodies,…
By Ethan Gach -
OpinionImpressionsBlack Ops 4‘s ‘Apocalypse’ Brings Fan-Favorite Maps And Modes (And More Annoying Loot Boxes)
The undead apocalypse started spreading across Call of Duty: Black Ops 4 on July 9, bringing zombie-themed content that features brand new maps as well as plenty of nostalgia for Call of Duties past. Black Ops 4’s latest event “Operation Apocalypse Z” is currently exclusive to PlayStation 4, but zombies will infect Xbox One and…
By S.E. Doster -
OpinionImpressionsSega’s ActRaiser Successor Is Not Good
1990’s ActRaiser is a pleasant mix of basic top-down strategy and side-scrolling platforming action that’s simple and satisfying. Sega’s SolSeraph, released today for PC, PlayStation 4, Switch and Xbox One, takes the same basic concept as the Super Nintendo classic and turns it into an unwieldy mess. Sega’s surprise announcement of SolSeraph two weeks ago…
By Mike Fahey -
OpinionImpressionsFallout 76 Hides Its Most Interesting Lore Behind A Steep Battle Royale Grind
Some bad shit went down in Vault 51, and the only way to find out about it within Fallout 76 is by playing countless hours of its battle royale mode, Nuclear Winter. Many of Fallout 76’s best stories all take place long before the player shows up. To learn about them, players need to read…
By Ethan Gach -
OpinionImpressionsFinal Fantasy XIV Shadowbringers Log Three: All Pros, No Cons
It’s ridiculous. Every time I log in to work my way through Final Fantasy XIV’s latest expansion, I find more things to gush over. Rather than spam my Twitter followers with GIFs and references to Shadowbringers, I’m using the third leg of my journey towards a full review to get all the goodness thus far…
By Mike Fahey -
OpinionImpressionsStranger Things 3 Game Is A Boring Rehash Of The Show
In season three of Netflix’s Stranger Things, the idyllic small-town peace of Hawkins, Indiana is once again shattered by from another dimension. Only this time, there’s a licensed tie-in video game to document all of the show’s pop culture references and 80s nostalgia in pixelated detail. And document it the game does, performing the role…
By Ethan Gach -
OpinionImpressionsFinal Fantasy XIV Lets You Run Dungeons With NPC Heroes Now, And It’s So Much Better Than Real People
Running through a brand-new dungeon in an online game with random strangers is nerve-wracking. I worry I will screw up and get us all killed. I fret about doing enough damage. I get grouped with jerks who know the run by heart and expect everyone else to as well. Final Fantasy XIV’s Shadowbringers expansion Iets…
By Mike Fahey -
OpinionImpressionsGreed Is Good In Gwent‘s New Novigrad Expansion
Gwent’s latest expansion, Novigrad, launched on Friday, and I’ve been playing almost nonstop since. After months away from the Witcher 3-inspired card game, I’ve fallen for Gwent all over again. The Novigrad expansion adds a new theme and mechanics that draw on what I love about the source material, and it also helps the game…
By Ethan Gach -
OpinionImpressionsFinal Fantasy XIV Shadowbringers Log Two: Great Dancing, Bad Rabbits
When the early access period for Final Fantasy XIV’s Shadowbringers expansion went live on Friday, I did two things. I unlocked the new Dancer job and switched my character to Viera, the game’s new rabbit-eared race. I regret one of those choices. After three days of play, I’m finally venturing into Shadowbringers’ colorful new zones,…
By Mike Fahey -
OpinionImpressionsLego Makes Tiny Tower Just A Little Bit Better
With more than 10 million downloads on iOS and Android devices, Tiny Tower is one of the most successful business simulation games of all time. Now NimbleBit has teamed up with Lego to make essentially the same game, only with Lego bricks and figures. It’s called Lego Tower, and it’s nice. Tiny Tower is a…
By Mike Fahey -
OpinionImpressionsFinal Fantasy XIV Shadowbringers Log One: There’s A Dancer In My Bunny
Final Fantasy XIV Shadowbringers launched in early access this morning, and as it is with every FFXIV expansion, players are of two minds. Half are flooding into the expansion’s new area, The First, eager to begin their journey as the Warrior of Darkness. I’m with the other half, a rolling horde of Gunblades and Dancers,…
By Mike Fahey
