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  The Saddest, Loneliest Screenshots in the World

  Video games are meant to be fun. Social networks are supposed to bring us together with friends. Sadly, not everything goes according to plan. Screenshots of Despair exists to catalogue the more depressing side of the modern internet: empty friends lists, nobody sharing anything, the fact you have won absolutely nothing Click through for a…

  By Luke Plunkett Published March 27, 2012
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  Batshit Crazy Fake Star Wars Figures are Cooler Than Real Ones

  In the late 1980s, a line of bootleg Star Wars figures was released in Turkey called Uzay. What’s so great about these figures isn’t the fact they’re horrible copies of the originals because, given the time, the toys themselves weren’t that bad. What makes them so great is the packaging. It’s just bananas. The Imperial…

  By Luke Plunkett Published March 27, 2012
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  This Gears of War Gun is Terrifyingly Real

  Prop-builder and artist Ryan Palser, whose Portal turret wowed the internet last year, returns with a replica Gears of War weapon so real you’d think you could play a minigame just to reload it quicker. It’s a Digger Launcher from the third game in the series, and Palser worked on it alongside his wife Dena.…

  By Luke Plunkett Published March 27, 2012
• Culture

  Fallout: New Vegas Isn’t as Dangerous on Paper

  In over fifteen years working as an artist in the video game industry, Joseph Sanabria has been in the employ of companies like Obsidian, THQ and Rockstar. For those developers, he’s produced art for games such as Terminator 3 and, awesomely, the Neverhood series. Most recently, he served as art director for Fallout: New Vegas,…

  By Luke Plunkett Published March 27, 2012
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  Wii U “On Par” With 360, PS3 (So Far) Says Darksiders Developer

  While Nintendo has yet to release the full specs for its upcoming Wii U, you can guess by its launch lineup that its capabilities are probably in line with the Xbox 360 and PS3, something Vigil Games are now backing up. “So far the [Wii U] hardware’s been on par with what we have with…

  By Luke Plunkett Published March 27, 2012
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  CultureTotal Recall

  Donkey Kong was NOT ON SEGA, OK?

  Part of me wishes they still made video game commercials like this. Less sanitised cinematics, more FUCK YOU COMPETING COMPANY. It’s childish and brash, sure, but also a lot more fun.

  By Luke Plunkett Published March 27, 2012
• CultureTotal Recall

  The Ghost of Cannon Fodders Past

  3D artist Toni Bratincevic goes back to the early 1990s and absolutely nails it. Or, he nails it if you were playing Amiga or PC games at the time, anyway.

  By Luke Plunkett Published March 26, 2012
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  CultureTotal Recall

  The Star Warsploitation Film That Deserved a Crummy Atari Game

  If you’ve never seen 1979’s Starcrash, boy are you missing out. It’s basically a collection of awful special effects, Flash Gordon-style pulp science fiction and a lot of attractive women in small bikinis and thigh-high boots. Of all the bad Star Wars clones that emerged in the wake of George Lucas’ classic, this was one…

  By Luke Plunkett Published March 26, 2012
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  Jumping the Mega Shark

  Greetings, Kotaku readers, and welcome to Monday’s open thread. We’ve got some fun stuff for you, gathered from around the internet. Enjoy: The ultimate Lego duel – Wow. The things people get up to with toys these days. “The Film Noir Roots of Cowboy Bebop” – An excellent piece by L.B. Jeffries, as always. Facebook…

  By Kirk Hamilton Published March 26, 2012
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  There are Pirates in Assassin’s Creed III (Well, Sort of)

  The Revolutionary War setting of Assassin’s Creed III means that, tricorn hats aside, there’s little tying the game to another of people’s favourite historical periods, the age of pirates. That hasn’t stopped Ubisoft from bringing the two together anyway. Announcing the game’s fancy collector’s editions, curiously available in Europe, Australasia, Asia and the Middle East,…

  By Luke Plunkett Published March 26, 2012
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  Reportedly Suicidal Player Laughed at, Then Trolled at EVE Online Gathering [Update]

  At EVE Online’s recent FanFest gathering, a panel got real unsavoury real fast when senior EVE players began not only mocking another player reportedly displaying suicidal tendencies, but encouraged others to do the same. During a panel last Thursday, one moderated by a CCP employee (the developers of the game), a presentation/Q&A gets awkward when…

  By Luke Plunkett Published March 26, 2012
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  Robot Helicopters Can’t Deliver Your Tacos, Says Bummer Scientist

  Last week, I saw something that sounded amazing. Like a dream come true. A dream called… TacoCopter “Flying Robots Deliver Tacos To Your Location,” said the website. It seemed to be too good to be true. It was almost certainly a hoax or prank. But it was also too irresistible not to get at least…

  By Kirk Hamilton Published March 26, 2012
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  A Hundred Ways to Look at Gaming’s Most Iconic Character

  The thing about legendary icons is, in a sense they serve as a cipher. A character who’s been around for 25 or 30 years is going to to be reimagined and reinterpreted nearly as many times as there are fans to see him. So it goes with Mario, Nintendo legend, who has been featured in…

  By Kate Cox Published March 26, 2012
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  5 Ways a Hunger Games Video Game Could Work, Killer Kids and All

  Sooner or later, we’re going to get a video game based on The Hunger Games. No film can be as popular as this one, raking in just under $155 Million opening weekend, and not bring a huge amount of tie-in products in its wake, video games included. As KPCC’s Matthew DeBord notes, there are a…

  By Kirk Hamilton Published March 26, 2012
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  Report: Namco Bandai Files U.S. Trademarks for RPG Tales of Xillia

  The Japanese role-playing game Tales of Xillia could be jetting across the ocean at some point in the near future. Gaming site Siliconera reports that it has found a U.S. trademark for the recent Tales game, which developer Namco Bandai released for PlayStation 3 last fall in Japan. Earlier this year, Namco Bandai brought both…

  By Jason Schreier Published March 26, 2012
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  Zelda Games Are Taking Longer and Longer to Get to the Point

  I found Tevis Thomson’s lengthy critique chronicling the decline and fall of the Legend of Zelda franchise to be very convincing. That doesn’t quite diminish my enjoyment of more recent Zelda games, but then, I’m no Zelda super-fan. But it was hard to argue with his points about how the series has changed and in…

  By Kirk Hamilton Published March 26, 2012
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  Baldur’s Gate iPad Will Support Multiplayer, Cost Less Than $10

  The enhanced iPad version of classic role-playing game Baldur’s Gate, slated for release this summer, won’t cost you more than $10. Also, it will support multiplayer. An enhanced edition of Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn is in the works for iPad later this year as well. This is all according to Cameron Tofer, COO…

  By Jason Schreier Published March 26, 2012
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  I Messed Up My Video Game Kickstarter. Now, I’m Fixing It.

  Three weeks ago, we launched a Kickstarter page for our project, “Crowdsourced Hardcore Tactical Shooter.” With a week to go, we have reached, as of this writing, just over $70,000 dollars of our $200,000 goal, putting us at 35% funded. If we stay at our current rate, we won’t get funded. So what did we…

  Christian Allen Published March 26, 2012
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  A Tribute To Bert Sugar, Who Gave Me My Start

  My father knew a guy who knew Bert Sugar. That’s how I wound up working for Bert, as a high school intern and then in my first job as a professional reporter. He was my first editor, my first mentor, my first journalism role model. He passed away yesterday at age 75 Back when I…

  By Stephen Totilo Published March 26, 2012
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  Skyrim is the Wrong Place to Look for Dragon Age III Inspiration

  Commenter Tony Danza stars in today’s newly-rescheduled episode of Speak Up on Kotaku, giving us the skinny on a Dragon Age III that won’t be the glorious return to glory fans hoped it would be. You’d think we would have changed time slots on a happy note. So, for those of you who aren’t aware,…

  By Mike Fahey Published March 26, 2012