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Let’s Take These Games And Turn Them Into Dating Sims

Examining why I play the games I do sometimes yields surprising insight. It’s become clear to me that many of the games I like…are kind of dating simulators, despite what the presentation or marketing might suggest. I don’t think I’m supposed to admit that, though. To say something like that feels like losing legitimacy as…

By Patricia Hernandez Published May 18, 2012

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There’s a Mario Kart 7 Patch in This Week’s Nintendo Download

Thanks to advances in Nintendo downloadable content distribution, 3DS like Mario Kart 7 can now be patched to eliminate exploits. Awww man, I love exploits. But apparently Nintendon’t, so the “Wuhu Loop,” “Maka Wuhu,” and “Bowser Castle 1” maps have now been patched, and those patches are required for online play. Welcome to the future.…

By Mike Fahey Published May 18, 2012

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You’ll Always Have Time for Treasure-Hunting With This Uncharted Watch

You idolize Nathan Drake. You half-tuck your henleys in the style of the handsome adventurer and quietly mutter to yourself when solving life’s puzzles. The only thing missing from your daily tribute to the PS3 hero is a rugged manly timepiece like the one Drake wears. Well, fret no longer. Over on Etsy, accessories designer…

By Evan Narcisse Published May 18, 2012

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There’s (Probably Not) a Full-Sized Chainsaw Wielding Cheerleader Robot in the Lollipop Chainsaw Special Edition

In fact, said special edition doesn’t actually exist, but if it did the ESRB rating would be through the roof. Blood, gore, adult situations and nudity, all before the game even makes it into your console. Completely fictional, of course. If the world could create robots that lifelike we’d be extinct within three generations. Think…

By Mike Fahey Published May 18, 2012

Kotaku East

Schoolgirl Presidents, Aliens, and Super Saiyan Panda Fighting!

What if one day you went to sleep and when you woke up your teenaged neighbor was The President and you the vice president? Then what if all fell to you to defend the country from terrorists, a mad Korean dictator, crazed fanboys, and Josef Mengele—while returning everything to normal rested on the shoulders of…

By Richard Eisenbeis Published May 18, 2012

Kotaku East

Tokyo’s Strict Poisonous Blowfish License Is Getting Lax

Fugu (blowfish) is a delicacy in Japan. If it’s not prepared correctly, the result is death. Since fewer people have died from fugu poisoning in recent years, the Tokyo government decided that, hey, it should lower the strict licensing required to prepare the fish. You follow that logic? Between 2000 and 2009, there were 338…

By Brian Ashcraft Published May 18, 2012

Kotaku East

Your Favorite Games Get Anime Openings

Japanese video-sharing site NicoNico Douga is well known for having its own unique net culture and memes. One of the most interesting of these is the “tegaki” style of video. “Tegaki,” literally meaning “hand-drawn,” refers to a type of video where a popular clip —usually an anime or video game opening—is altered to portray a…

By Richard Eisenbeis Published May 18, 2012

Kotaku East

Let Chun-Li Kick You in the Face with New Project X Zone Screens

Upcoming 3DS collaboration Project X Zone sure is getting crowded. Here’s a look at the latest screens of the pair-based combat game. From what I’ve seen so far, I quite like the game’s look. Hope I like how it plays. 『PROJECT X ZONE（プロジェクトクロスゾーン）』新たな登場キャラと戦闘システムを紹介 [Famitsu]

By Brian Ashcraft Published May 18, 2012

Kotaku East

When Sony Products Get Weird, the Weird Go Pro

The craziest product of 2011 meet the craziest workstation of 2012. Computer engineer Shigeki Morimoto’s desk at social networking company Mixi is a mismatch of pulleys, pipes, and rope all designed to support his Sony HMZ-T1 headset. Or something. When Morimoto started using the Sony HMZ-T1 headset at work, he quickly discovered that the headset…

By Brian Ashcraft Published May 18, 2012

Kotaku East

It’s True, Japanese First-Person Shooters Do Exist

After finding out about The Legend of Alfur, a Japanese indy-made FPS for the PC, it struck me how weird it was to hear the words “Japanese-made” and “FPS” in the same sentence. While typically thought of as “overly violent games from the West” in Japan, they have recently grown in popularity here in Japan.…

By Richard Eisenbeis Published May 18, 2012

Kotaku East

Please, I Beg You, No More Tekken Movies

When the Tekken film was released, it was so bad that Tekken‘s video game producer Katsuhiro Harada publically distanced himself from the project. He might have to do that again. For reasons unbeknownst to man, Hollywood is keen to make another Tekken flick. Crystal Sky, one of the production companies on the first film, is…

By Brian Ashcraft Published May 18, 2012

Kotaku East

Married Couple Arrested for Pirating One Piece

One Piece is a very popular manga and anime about pirates. Takuyuki Machida, 47, and his wife were apparently pirates. How fitting. From July 2011 and March 2012, the two supposedly sold 38 pirated DVDs that were procured from a South Korean website. The DVDs were then resold online. According to authorities, the couple made…

By Brian Ashcraft Published May 18, 2012

Kotaku East

A Totally Safe for Work Look at that Persona Porno

On May 25, Japanese role-playing game Persona is getting a porno parody called Perofella. The suspense must be killing you. Japanese website Asagawo Blog watched a screener and posted a handful of screen caps on its site. Since, well, Perofella is a dirty movie, many of the screen caps are dirty. Screw dirty! Let’s look…

By Brian Ashcraft Published May 18, 2012

Kotaku East

Beat Takeshi Compares Gay Marriage To Bestiality

One of Japan’s best known creators and comedians, Beat Takeshi, is catching heat for remarks he made about gay marriage. When shown footage of people celebrating President Obama’s recent gay marriage remarks, Takeshi quipped, “Obama supports gay marriage. You would support a marriage to an animal eventually, then.” Um… Takeshi is, first and foremost, a…

By Brian Ashcraft Published May 18, 2012

Kotaku East

Kotaku East Starts Now!

Kotaku East runs from 4am to 8am Eastern. For more info about Kotaku East click here

By Brian Ashcraft Published May 18, 2012

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Capcom Tries to Fix Street Fighter X Tekken, Breaks it Instead

In updating the console versions of Street Fighter X Tekken to fix a few bugs, Capcom has accidentally introduced a new one, which completely breaks the game. Whoops. Anyone updating to 1.04 and using Rolento’s knife to attack a projectile will find that the results are not exactly desirable, in that it locks the game…

By Luke Plunkett Published May 18, 2012

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Why Grown Men Make Things Out of LEGO

We feature a lot of LEGO here on Kotaku, for good reason: it’s awesome. But the spaceships or Star Wars dioramas we show you are rarely made by kids, or Danish engineers. They’re usually made by grown men. Why would they devote so much time and energy to expressing themselves using what for many is…

By Luke Plunkett Published May 18, 2012

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Next Sly Cooper Game Coming to PS3 AND Vita

It’s been announced overnight that Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time, the upcoming platformer once bound solely for the PS3, is now headed to the Vita as well. More of this please, Sony! [PlayStation]

By Luke Plunkett Published May 18, 2012

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Please, Stop Torturing us With These Metal Gear Rising Torture Videos

There’s a simple rule publishers need to adhere to when it comes to live action marketing: either do it right, or don’t do it at all. Skimp on the quality, even just a little, and what you end up with will probably be a bit shit. Ubisoft know the rule pretty well. Konami? Konami don’t…

By Luke Plunkett Published May 18, 2012

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This, Ladies, is How You Cosplay Zelda

Spicy Seasoning andRikku Grape, playing Midna and Zelda respectively, are winning hearts, minds and thumbs up here with some amazing Nintendo cosplay. Photography is by Kindra Nikole and Angie Chuu Princess Zelda & Midna Cosplays [Geek Girls, via Fashionably Geek]

By Luke Plunkett Published May 18, 2012