This Video Shows You What a 2,800-Player Battle Looks Like in EVE Online

This morning, Reddit user Itsatrapski posted several images of a major battle—like 2,800 players—raging in the space MMO EVE Online today. YouTube user deusxverra followed with this video capture of the battle, described as terribly one-sided, so you can get an idea of what this conflict looks like in real time. WTF was going on?…

Kotaku ‘Shop Contest: Dildover

On Thursday, THQ president Jason Rubin clocked out with his cock out. This purple dildo he’s shouldering was a notorious premium/gag promoting Saints Row The Third, which now is in the hands of Deep Silver following THQ’s liquidation on Wednesday. You know what this means: ‘Shop Contest! What, you need instructions? That’s the image. You…

End the Shame: Commit to ‘Four in February’

My colleague Mike Suszek of Joystiq, with whom I appear bi-weekly on the Press Row Podcast discussing sports video games, has begun an initiative to help many face down their Piles of Shame: Four in February. The goal: Beat four video games in the month of February. That’s it. It’s kind of like National Novel…

Sunday Comics: Closed Beta

Welcome to your Sunday read of the week’s best in web comics. Make sure to click on the expand button in the bottom right to enlarge each comic. Nerf NOW!! by Josué Pereira. Published Jan. 25. Read more of Nerf NOW!! Penny Arcade by Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik. Published Jan. 23. Read more of…

Watch Hotline Miami Destroy Your Childhood (And Just About Everything Else)

Hotline Miami is one of the most vicious, violent games in recent memory. This video by PulpitPower explores what would happen if we put Hotline Miami’s savage protagonist in some old-school games (and a couple of newer ones, too!) The results are about as horrifying as you’d expect. The worst part is, watching this, you…

Some GTA fans think they’ve spotted new, official Grand Theft Auto V art. Have a look. UPDATE: Rockstar says it’s real.

Kotaku ‘Shop Contest: Torso Distortion: The Winners

Dead Island‘s meatheaded special edition premium—a butchered big-boobed torso—provided the laughs for this week’s Kotaku ‘Shop Contest. Among the finalists inside you will find Manti Te’o, the Major Award, Chewbacca (a very, very close runner up) and overall winner Nude_Eskimo! BigMike McCarthy billysan Docherty iconoclast24 Nude_Eskimo Pan_1da7 robish.w sciteach sciteach (again) Sr.Muffin theRealBlitzFire911 VanguardRose WellbutrinXL300

This skyscraper-sized functioning golden toilet (with bowl freshener) in Minecraft is truly the Throne of Games.

This Startup’s New Hire Application is a Custom Portal Level

Those wanting to work for WibiData better have impeccable Portal problem solving skills. Part of the application process for the San Francisco tech startup involves completing a custom level, based on the company’s offices, says the New York Times A teaser of the custom level can be seen above. WibiData, a computer engineering firm, created…

Jonathan Coulton ‘Covers’ Glee‘s Ripoff of ‘Baby Got Back,’ Puts It on iTunes, Proceeds Go to Charity

Unable to get any satisfaction from Glee, 20th Century Fox Television, or its lawyers, Jonathan Coulton has put his version of of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” on iTunes, called it “my cover of Glee’s cover of my cover,” and will give proceeds from its sale through February to charity. Coulton put the song on…

Tim Schafer, Creator of Psychonauts, Shaves His Beard

Tim Schafer, founder and CEO of Double Fine Productions, today shaved off his beard. This event was shown live to more than 700 viewers Schafer yesterday tweeted that he would remove his facial hair. The beard’s demise evidently was tied to a weight loss goal. He had been on a “green juice fast” since the…

The endless series of zany mods for Grand Theft Auto IV now includes a space shuttle, which you may fly to the moon.

This Week in the Business: ‘Because We’re Weirdos and Don’t Like to do Things Like We’re Supposed To!’

What’s happened in the business of video games this past week … QUOTE | “Because we’re weirdos and don’t like to do things like we’re supposed to!”—American McGee, founder of Spicy Horse Games, explaining why they just launched a Kickstarter for Akaneiro towards the end of development QUOTE | “You’re always going to get a…

Emergency maintenance from 3 to 8 p.m. EST on Monday will bring down the Nintendo eShop and shopping for the DS and Wii.

When the Game has No Name, All Are to Blame

Evidently, removing scary scary violent video games from arcades is a trend now. So reports the Associated Press which, quite typically, can’t be bothered to name any of the video games involved. The AP brings up the news from earlier in the month when Massachusetts yanked some light gun games from arcades in rest stops…

The Moneysaver: Triple-A Battery

Amazon throws some pre-order bait with bonus credit offers on big titles coming out in the next couple of months. Meantime, GreenMan Gaming’s own 25 percent off coupon is still going, along with Microsoft Store’s offer of $20 worth of Microsoft Points on 11 titles there. Those deals highlight more than 100 in all in…

Man Watches Django Unchained, Recreates Plantation With Slaves in The Sims 3 [UPDATE]

Meet Reddit user BourgeoisBanana. Like many people, he watched Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained—a hyper violent Western film that deals with slavery. Unlike most people, the movie inspired BourgeoisBanana to recreate a colonial-era plantation in The Sims 3 according to PC Gamer—slaves and all. “After seeing Django Unchained, the idea sort of came to me,” BourgeoisBanana…

The Best Of Kotaku, This Week

Welcome to the Best of Kotaku, where I round up all of this week’s best content. What happy little assassins we see in the image above, created by CavalierediSpade and found by Blue Dog’s Eyes Now let’s move on to reading this week’s best content, courtesy of us. The Hierarchy of Video Game Haters Tim…

J.J. Abrams: Being A Part Of The Next Star Wars Is ‘An Absolute Honor’

Though it was widely-reported that Star Trek director J.J. Abrams would also go on to direct the next Star Wars, it wasn’t until tonight that Lucasfilm issued an official statement. Included are not only remarks from a very humble J.J, but also industry professionals vouching that the franchise is in good hands. This includes even…

Call Lando, Beijing Is Cloud City

From Silent Hill to Blade Runner, Beijing’s air pollution is helping the metropolis look otherworldly. And this latest batch of photos make Beijing’s skyline look more like Bespin‘s. According to China.org, the smog was especially heavy on January 22 and 23. These photos show Beijing on the morning of the 22nd. Smog is slimy, double-crossing,…