Okay, This Bread Really Looks Like Vaginas

The bread is pink. That’s the color of cherry blossoms, and thus, spring in Japan. And the wrapper says the snack is “shaped like cherry blossoms.” Seems innocuous enough, right? But take off the wrapper. Because, as pointed out online in Japan, this doesn’t look like cherry blossoms. It does look like vaginas. This post…

First Look at Drakengard 3

Square Enix is readying a new Drakengard game. Dubbed Drakengard 3 (Drag-On Dragoon 3 or ドラッグオンドラグーン3 in Japanese), the action role-playing game follows the adventures of Zero (ゼロ) and her younger sister named “One” (“Wan” or ワン). Zero, who sports an artificial left hand, has a flower that sprouts from her right eye. Her special…

Hard Gay Is Very Good at Drawing

Remember Hard Gay? The hardly gay Japanese comedian who dresses in leather, plays up stereotypes, and yells, “Fooohhh!” The last we saw of Hard Gay, whose real name is Masaki Sumitani, was at a Halo 4 event in Japan during fall 2012. Sumitani hit it big in Japan way back in 2005 and has kind…

The New Wii U Pokémon Game Has Toys, Kind of Like Skylanders

The Skylanders video games set off a merchandizing bonanza thanks to its toys that were outfitted with near field communication. The upcoming Pocket Monsters game for the Wii U looks set to do the same thing. According to a leaked CoroCoro Comic magazine scan, the upcoming Pokémon Scramble U for Wii U will use NFC…

Awesome Man Makes Teeny-Tiny Star Wars Ships

San Jose-based artist David Canavese must be some sort of Jedi. Make that, a paper Jedi. He can take paper products of varying thickness, whether they’re typing paper or index cards, and add some white glue to create super small Star Wars ships. Oh, did I say Canavese doesn’t use tweezers or magnification? Well, he…

Apollo Justice Is Coming to Ace Attorney 5, But in Bandages

Apollo Justice starred in his own Ace Attorney game, which was the fourth Ace Attorney game in the series, after Phoenix Wright was disbarred. Even though Phoenix Wright is back for the forthcoming 3DS title Ace Attorney 5, Apollo Justice is once again returning to the series. Though, he looks worse for wear. A lot…

Proof That There’s Some Creepiness Left In Dead Space 3, Thanks To New Content

One of my biggest problems with Dead Space 3 is that it is utterly lacking in the hallucination department. What happened to all those twisted, freaky things I witnessed in the first two titles? Playing as Isaac got you close to zero hallucinations. You could get minor satisfaction in co-op while playing as Carver, but…

A Homemade Pacific Rim Trailer Featuring Elliptical Machines And Rollerblades

Yes, the trailers for the upcoming robots-vs-monsters flick Pacific Rim are pretty awesome. Also awesome: This funny “sweded” version from Dumb Drum This is the latest in a long run of sweded trailers these guys have done, and I’ve enjoyed all of them. I particularly like the way they do GLaDOS’ voice. Everyone doing well?…

The Best Looking Beat ’em Up Games From The 16-Bit Era

The beat ’em up genre flourished in the nineties, with Capcom and Konami leading the way on the SNES and on the SEGA Genesis, as well as with a huge amount of great arcade games that never got a home console port. We’ve selected some of the most amazing titles from this wonderful era, the…

New Twist In ‘Steam Box’ Saga: Piston Makers Say They Were ‘Asked To Build A Product Specifically By Valve’

Hardware maker Xi3 has addressed today’s confusion, telling Kotaku tonight that despite Valve’s statements this morning, the Steam makers actually asked Xi3 to design the Piston PC. In a strange statement this morning, Valve distanced themselves from Piston, a living-room-friendly PC that some have taken to calling an unofficial ‘Steam Box’ because it is designed…

I’m Commander Shepard And These Are My Favorite Gags From Mass Effect 3: Citadel

Citadel, the final downloadable add-on for Mass Effect 3, is a hell of a good time. It’s so full of jokes, references, call-backs and gags that it’s difficult to keep up. Plenty of people have been taking to YouTube and elsewhere to share their favorite moments from Citadel, and I thought I’d take the opportunity…

2 Mello, the rapper who made that cool Chrono Trigger/Jay-Z mash-up, has now released a full, free album of them.

The New Tomb Raider Saved This Teenager’s Life

The first time Draven Miltenberger played Tomb Raider was in 1999. He was three years old. His home life might have been tumultuous thanks to how often he moved, but that was his constant: Tomb Raider “My family couldn’t pry it out of my hands,” he wrote in a blog post that described his love…

A New Web Series That Brings DayZ Into The Real World

DayZ is the kind of game that creeps into the real world with you regardless, so it’s fitting that the filmmakers at DDay Hollywood have decided to make a web series called “Apocalypse DayZ,” which reimagines the game in the real world. These are the same folks responsible for that funny video about turning up…

SimCity‘s Menu Music: A Lovely Composition That I Never, Ever Want To Hear Again

It’s hard not to feel a little bit sorry for SimCity‘s menu music. The jaunty theme plays every time I start (or attempt to start) the game. It accompanies the loading window that precedes the game’s proper main menu. It’s meant to be a lighthearted entrée to the game. And it would’ve been, if the…

Look, It’s A Mod That Makes Skyrim More Like Far Cry 3

How would this joke go? It’s like Far Cry 3 but with magic? It’s like Skyrim but with Skyrim? It’s like Skyrim with guns, but without guns? Lord, I don’t even know. Regardless, check out this “Tropical Skyrim” mod by Soolie—which, like the name suggests, rehauls the climate in Skyrim into a tropical paradise. Actually,…

StarCraft II: Heart of the Swarm: The Kotaku Review

Near the beginning of StarCraft II: Heart of the Swarm, as the noble pirate Jim Raynor and the psychic-soldier-turned-evil-Zerg-queen-turned-confused-human Sarah Kerrigan are escaping from a squad of invading marines, Kerrigan picks up a gun. “Been a long time,” she says. “Like riding a bike,” Raynor says. Kerrigan walks over. Kisses Raynor smack on the lips.…

Big Boi and B.O.B. have released this music video for the new Army of Two. It’s… well, they didn’t half-ass it.

A Maxis insider tells Rock, Paper Shotgun that a single-player SimCity is not as impossible as we’ve been told.

My Favorite Way to Play Darkstalkers Resurrection is the Least Practical Way

This week Capcom unleashes Darkstalkers Resurrection on the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3, bringing fans of the monster-fueled fighting game series both Night Warriors: Darkstalkers’ Revenge and Darkstalkers 3, updated with online multiplayer, YouTube replay sharing, and a bevy of options to enhance your viewing pleasure. Let me show you my favorite. It looks a…