My Son Inadvertently Designed A Metroid Xbox Series X/S Controller

Overwhelmed by the options available at custom controller shop Mega Modz, I turned to nine-year-old Seamus Fahey for design advice. What at first seemed like a completely arbitrary selection of colors and buttons coalesced into this purple, green, red, and orange homage to Metroid, a series that will never be officially playable on an Xbox.…

Even The Justice Department Is Looking Into The GameStop Stock Fiasco

While the dust starts to settle around GameStop’s meme stock phenomenon, investigations into the hedge funds, trading platforms, and the Reddit community that fueled it are just getting started. Many people have already lost a lot of money, but even more could be on the line if lawmakers and regulatory agencies discover that actual laws…

Super Mario 3D World Penis Uncut On Switch

Super Mario 3D World, out today on Switch, is pretty much the same game that appeared on Wii U with a few minor changes. As such, the large, dong-shaped bridge in the World 4 castle remains gloriously intact. (h/t Akfamilyhome) And here’s a different angle, just for funsies. Look, there’s a lot of low-hanging fruit…

Halo 3 Is Getting A New Map Over A Decade After Release

Halo 3 received its last official new map all the way back in 2009, as part of the Mythic II Map Pack release. Now, 343 Industries has announced that a new map, first featured in Halo Online, will be added to the next round of Master Chief Collection beta testing. In a blog post released…

What Are You Playing This Weekend?

The weekend is for getting together with the family for a nice meal, preferably without being stuffed and posed around the table by a deranged maniac. It’s also for having some little nightmares, as a treat. Little Nightmares II came out this week, and I am slowly working my way through its dark and gloomy…

Cyberpunk 2077 Is Not Selling Great On Console

Cyberpunk 2077‘s console launch was a disaster, and sure enough sales on console now seem to reflect that, with the game tumbling off of last month’s best seller list according to the latest report by the NPD market research group. Even the nearly four-year-old Switch exclusive The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild sold…

Destiny 2‘s Cosmodrome Isn’t Getting Any Bigger

Bungie announced yesterday that Destiny 2’s partial Cosmodrome, which was brought over from the first game last November, won’t be expanding to reach its original size and scope. The studio says its part of a trade-off to focus on making new content. Excluding the Plaguelands area added in Destiny 1‘s Rise of Iron expansion, Destiny…

The Surviving Mars OST Will Keep Me In High Spirits When I Blast Off Into Space

Welcome to Morning Music, Kotaku’s ongoing hangout for folks who love video games and the cool-ass sounds they make. Today, let’s listen to a soundtrack that’s out of this world: that of Surviving Mars, the Paradox-published 2018 city builder from Haemimont Games. The dream of Mars is no longer a fantasy, but it might be…

Japanese Vending Machines Tell People To Wear A Mask, Wash Their Hands And Gargle

This week, new vending machines that tell customers to fight the coronavirus were unveiled in Shiga Prefecture, Japan. As NHK reports, the samurai-themed machines have a pre-recorded message that states, “Fight the coronavirus! Wear a mask, wash your hands, and gargle.” When people get their drink, the message adds, “Well done! Always be prepared.” The…

Teenager Arrested In Japan After Kicking Arcade Machine

At many arcades in Japan there is often an amusement cabinet called a punching machine that measures how hard one can punch. A sixteen-year-old has been arrested after kicking one. Here is a YouTube clip from 2012 showing a punching machine in action: According to Kobe Shimbun Next, a sixteen-year-old resident of Kakogawa city, was…

Track: Ghost | Artist: Hitsujibungaku | Album: Powers

Here’s Dan’s Legendary Taunt In Street Fighter V

Dan Hibiki is back in Street Fighter V, which means we now have a new incarnation of his legendary taunt to appreciate. Let’s take a look. And for comparison, here’s how Dan’s legendary taunt has evolved from game to game. Dan has been Street Fighter’s go-to joke character since his debut in 1995’s Street Fighter…

PS5 Scalpers Unwilling To Admit They’re Grade-A Douchebags

In a recent interview with Forbes, a man who claims to have purchased 25 PlayStation 5 consoles in January and resold them for upwards of $350 profit apiece says “reselling” is an incredibly valuable industry that does not deserve the bad press it gets. Fuck him right in the face. The scalper interviewed by Forbes,…

I Killed A Dancing Bear In Assassin’s Creed Valhalla, Feel Terrible, And Would Do It Again

Lurking out in the fields and forests of Assassin’s Creed Valhalla are immensely powerful beasts. The kind of animals that people tell stories about. Dangerous, killer monsters that only a hardy, brave, and perhaps foolish warrior could…Oh wait, never mind. It got stuck in the ground like an idiot. Since wrapping up the main story…

Mario Kart 64 Speedrunner Sets New World Record By Repeatedly Slamming Into Wall

The Nintendo game buckles under this advanced strategy

Stardew Valley’s massive 1.5 update is also out on PS4, Xbox One, and Switch now The update adds a ton of stuff including new people, items, quests, and a beach farm. It also lets you finally sit-down

Twitch’s not-so-grand Pogchamp experiment is coming to an end. After replacing the conspiracy-addled face of the popular emote with 35 different Pogchamps in 35 days, Twitch seems to be on the brink of a more permanent arrangement. Tomorrow, viewers will be able to “decide what the future of hype looks like” as part of a…

Agents of Mayhem (Which Is Good BTW) Plays Way Better On My Xbox Series X

The power of next-gen consoles can, in some cases, help improve games that suffered from performance problems. A great example of this is Agents of Mayhem, a good last-gen open-world shooter made even better thanks to the Xbox Series X and its backward compatibility features. Agents of Mayhem was released back in 2017 and developed…