Biff Tannen Predicts This Weekend's Biggest Sports Matchups

Illustration for article titled Biff Tannen Predicts This Weekend's Biggest Sports Matchups

Hey, are you a sports fan on the go? Who has time these days to watch the big game, or bother with messy DVR, or boring highlight shows? With Biff Tannen's Sports Almanac, we'll give you the weekend's biggest matchups before they happen, thanks to these highly accurate peer-reviewed scientific simulations of sports video gaming's finest titles. Biff Tannen's Sports Almanac appears Fridays on Sportaku.

Note: Information presented for entertainment purposes only. If you consult video games for sports betting advice, seek help.


Simulated using NBA 2K12.
Rosters current as of Feb. 16.

• Dallas 83, New York 79 (Sunday)—Jason Kidd will bury a three-pointer as the shot clock expires to give Dallas its first lead, 69-68, with 3:23 left in the game, and Dirk Nowitzki will score the next 10 points as the Mavericks bring Jeremy Lin and the New York Knicks back to earth, 83-79.


Lin will score just four points on 1-of-7 shooting but will dish out seven assists for the Knicks, who will ride the home crowd energy to a near wire-to-wire victory despite 42 percent team shooting. Amare Stoudemire will lead all scorers with 36 points and nine rebounds.

For the Mavericks, Nowitzki will score 31 points on 13-of-20 shooting. Jason Terry (19 points) and Vince Carter (13) will also reach double figures.

• Denver 117, Oklahoma City 106 (Sunday)—On the road against one of the league's toughest crowds, an inspired Nuggets unit will overcome Kevin Durant's astonishing 54-point outburst to keep pace with the division-leading Thunder. For Denver, Ty Lawson will score 31 points and hand out 7 assists, and Al Harrington will add 26 points, helped by 3-of-4 shooting from three-point range. Andre Miller will contribute 17 points and three assists.


Simulated using NHL 12
Rosters current as of Feb. 2

• Detroit 2, Nashville 1 (OT shootout) (Friday)—Detroit will extend its NHL record home winning streak to 22 games when it survives a scare from division foe Nashville. Colin Wilson's goal off a deflection with 15 seconds left in the third will silence the Joe Louis Arena crowd and send the game into overtime. But Nashville will waste two power play opportunities and lose after Daniel Cleary beats Pekka Rinne top shelf to conclude an agonizing shootout. Cleary also will score for the Red Wings at 13:13 in the third.


• Vancouver 3, Toronto 2 (OT shootout) (Saturday)—Toronto will let a chance for a big road win slip away when Dan Hamhuis' shot from the blue line ties the game with 43 seconds left and the Canucks prevail 2-1 in the overtime shootout. Goal scorers for the Leafs will be Tim Connolly in the second period and Joey Crabb in the third. For the Northwest-leading canucks, Daniel Sedin will score a first period goal, and Kevin Bieksa will two assists.

College Basketball

Simulated using College Hoops 2K8
Rosters by Operation Sports user Ben Griffey Jr. (vers. 1.9)

Illustration for article titled Biff Tannen Predicts This Weekend's Biggest Sports Matchups

• Clemson 77, No. 8 North Carolina 71 (Saturday)—Clemson will stun the college basketball world with a victory over North Carolina, the Tigers' first—ever—in Chapel Hill. Freshman K.J. McDaniels will lead all Clemson scorers with 11 points while senior guard Andre Young supplies seven assists. With a 42-point second half and a scoring contribution from every single available player, Clemson will win in the face of 21 points from Harrison Barnes, and avenge nearly 60 years of humilation at the home court of ACC royalty.


• No. 6 Ohio State 79, No. 17 Michigan 71 (Saturday)—Talk is cheap and so is Michigan's unbeaten season at Crisler Arena, which will crash to earth after 23 points and 12 assists from Jared Sullinger cements a confident beating by the superior Buckeyes.


Simulated using FIFA 12.

• Barcelona 3, Valencia 2 (Saturday)—For the best fixture of an otherwise drab week in international football, Barcelona will down Valencia 3-2 at the Camp Nou thanks to David Villa's goal [edit: Whoops, he's injured] at the 80th minute. Valencia will get equalising goals from Roberto Soldado (28th minute) and Ricardo Costa (56th) but be unable to break through. Lionel Messi will score the game's first goal at the 14th minute, and Iniesta will give Barça a 2-1 lead at the 42nd minute.


Biff's record: 0-0 last week; 1-0 lifetime (UCLA 19, Washington 17, 1955)

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Storm Trooper #4

Barca will win, but David Villa has a broken leg so he won't be playing for a few months! I think they'll win 3-1.