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A Week In Comments

The Beauty of Human Error, Committed by a Computer Umpire

Comment by: dandank

Nominated by: BryanH

https://kotaku.com/the-beauty-of-human-error-committed-by-a-computer-umpi-5556304

Now I’ll admit that I don’t typically play sports games, but I have a theory:

Say the game is set to call everything perfectly without error. If the game’s controls over the in-game players allow you to consistently replicate desired actions, it also leads to predictable outcomes. This means that, once you’ve spent enough time to master the controls, as long as you don’t screw up, you’d always get the call you’re going for.

And that’s boring. Videogames have far fewer variables than the actual sports, meaning it’s way easier to just reproduce a result. Once you’ve overcome your own human error as a gamer, a perfect umpire system reduces the game to a cold, robotic reproduction of the sport— endlessly predictable, and completely inorganic. It might as well be a mass of calculations and nothing more.

In the real sport you’d have both player error and umpire error affecting the outcome. In a game with simplified presentation, you’re given the opportunity to eliminate player error from your team, personally. The simulated ‘humanity’ of the in-game umps is the only way to keep spontaneity in the equation. It’s the only familiar link to the uncertainty you’d usually feel for your favorite team while watching them in real life— you can’t personally guarantee victory for THEM with expert thumbs. That’s why it’s so exciting.

1001 Video Games You Must Play Before You Die

Comment by: Salari

Nominated by: puresewas1de

https://kotaku.com/1001-video-games-you-must-play-before-you-die-5555559

With a preface by Peter Molyneux I’m sure the book won’t be as good as we’re led to believe…

New Kingdom Hearts Game Will Be At E3

Comment by: RedRaptor

Nominated by: BryanH

https://kotaku.com/new-kingdom-hearts-game-will-be-at-e3-452576594

Wouldn’t be E3 without Kingdom Hearts: Random Number and Yaoi Pairing Generator (831^2)/9 + -1 in attendance.

Seeing as how Square outright refuses to give any of their GOOD FRANCHISES DECENT SEQUELS ANYMORE. YES, I WANT FRONT MISSION TO BE A BAD ARMORED CORE KNOCKOFF, I HATED THOSE LAST FIVE AMAZING SRPG GAMES.

…YES, I MAD.

Man Accused Of Killing Kitten For Unplugging Game Console

Comment by: ntereycelogy

Nominated by: IvanDashSmith

https://kotaku.com/man-accused-of-killing-kitten-for-unplugging-game-conso-5553606

Got rage?

There’s no excusing this away. And I cannot believe the sentiments I’ve read stating that he somehow shouldn’t even get jail time.

This. This situation right here. THIS is when someone especially SHOULD get jail time for animal cruelty. Period.

Animal cruelty is illegal for a reason, and this falls squarely into the “you get jail for this” box. No questions asked.

In fact, he wasn’t even merely “cruel” to the animal… He. Freaking. Killed it. So, if this joker gets off with a slap on the wrist, it’ll make a mockery of the system.

Now, I’m not some animal-rights wacko myself: I eat meat, LOVE leather, kill rodents, and am fine with the fact animals just die in general…

So, I honestly think that big picture-wise, killing a kitty does not equal killing a human, therefore it should not carry the same punishment.

But a case like this, jailtime should be mandatory, not just a last resort.

And it goes beyond him “merely” ceasing the life of a helpless animal; people do that everyday as their JOB so other people can eat and have fancy shoes.

He did it cruelly. He did it out of anger. He did it for an unbelievably petty reason. And it is absolutely not that he “just” killed a kitten: This sets the stage for him to do bigger and badder things, if he isn’t already abusing the g/f and/or her kids as it is.

Surprise! No Portal 2 Party at E3

Comment by: MrBionic

Nominated by: Goldwings

https://kotaku.com/surprise-no-portal-2-party-at-e3-5552813

This was no triumph.

I’m making a note here, huge surprise.

It’s hard to over-state my disappointment.

Aperture Science.

Mess with the fans, because we can

For the good of all our stocks

Except the ones in the red.

Now there’s no sense crying over every bait and hook

They’ll just keep on trying every tease in the book

And the games will get done

around Twenty-Twenty-One

For the people who are…

… Still alive.

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https://kotaku.com/a-guide-to-proper-commenting-5131097

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