Surprise! No Portal 2 Party at E3

Illustration for article titled Surprise! No Portal 2 Party at E3

This just in from Valve:

Dear Subject Name Here,

Aperture Science is pleased to inform you that we have partnered with Valve to announce the gala CANCELLATION of the June 14 Portal 2 event at the Regal Theater. The event will be replaced by a surprise. And even though the cancellation of the event certainly counts as a surprise, we are pleased to further announce that the cancellation of the event is not THE surprise. However, per International treaties regarding the definition of the word "surprise", of which both Aperture Science and Valve are signatories, the time, date and content of the actual surprise will only become available as you experience the surprise.

If you'd like to ask fruitless questions about the E3 Portal 2 surprise or, more fruitfully, schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve's Special Envoy to Surprises, Doug Lombardi.

Thank you for [RECORD SCRATCH!!!]

PS: The surprising record scratch is also not the surprise.

Surprised? Sure! Intrigued? Even more so.


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Left 4 Dead 3 please. I would like it to be in Hawaii. You have your orders, Valve, get moving. I know you're listening!

Counterstrike 2 and Day of Defeat 2 would be... intriguing.

Team Fortress 3 would be too soon.

Episode 3 isn't likely given that they said "we are not going to announce it this year" (although it WOULD be a surprise if they did).

Maybe it's that game that the guys from DOTA or whatever were working on?