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All I Really Need to Know I Learned From Playing LucasArts Games

I played a whole lot of LucasArts games growing up. Like, a lot. I used to look forward to getting the company catalogue, The Adventurer, in the mail. I knew all the sword-fighting insults by heart. Sam and Max taught me to love words. Hell, I even got made fun of by crappy playground bullies…

Grantland writes an interesting analysis of the old Super Mario Bros. movie. “Super Mario Bros. created a much more insidious template, one that’s never been as prevalent as it is now: the simultaneous money-grub brand exploitation and fan-base slap in the face.”

The Violence in This Week in Gaming Apps is Simply Enthralling. Appalling. I Meant Appalling.

Our weekly roundup of the new mobile games we’ve played over the past five day period is usually filled with physics puzzles and endless runners. Those things are indeed present this week, but tempered with some good old-fashion shooting people in the head. Oh don’t worry, they’re mostly stick people. I’ve been passing up the…

Farming Simulator. On Consoles. In September. Yes.

The once ironically-beloved Farming Simulator series has blossomed into a damn fine alternative to watching cartoon people pretend to plow on Facebook. The latest version is a smash hit on PC, so here comes the console version, bigger and better than ever. Coming in early September to the Xbox 360 and PC (what, no Wii…

The most noteworthy thing during the Game Developers Conference last week had to be the #lostlevels unconference. It was about inclusivity: anyone could come, and anyone could give a talk. Talks ranged from “The Game Industry Must Be Destroyed” to how to make games more erotic. Watch this video to see what it was about,…

Happy One-Month Anniversary, SimCity. How’s It Going?

One month ago today, EA and Maxis released SimCity into the wild. The game’s launch was… troubled, to say the least. In fact, you could very easily call it a disaster. Server woes, a debilitating online requirement, AI shortcomings, lost cities, and slow customer-service left many gamers angry. In the case of SimCity, a month…

Microsoft Apologizes for Employee’s Always-Online Tweets, Avoids Saying If Next-Gen Xbox Will Require Online

Microsoft is sorry about yesterday’s Twitter drama surrounding Adam Orth, a creative director at the company’s Xbox division, though they’re not ready to speak freely about the part of that drama that could actually affect your gaming future. “We apologize for the inappropriate comments made by an employee on Twitter yesterday,” the company said in…

“It turns out that there isn’t enough helium in the world to make Columbia fly. The math puts it at around 330 million cubic meters of helium.” —An expert explains the difficulty of keeping flying cities—like the one in BioShock Infinite—aloft. Read more at io9

If Dr. Seuss Wrote BioShock and Silent Hill…

The covers would look a little like this. The artist, DrFaustusAU, was featured on Kotaku before. This time, he’s back with two covers: one for BioShock, and one for Silent Hill. Check em out, they come with accompanying rhymes (which are from the original DeviantArt pages): She is just a small girl, but has no…

Tales RPGs Are Like Gumdrops, Says The Guy Who Makes Them

I like to compare the longrunning Tales action-RPG series to fast food: they’re not particularly nutritious and you always know what you’re gonna get, but when you’ve got the craving, they can’t be beat. Hideo Baba, on the other hand, says they’re more like gumdrops. I had asked Baba, the man who directs and produces…

EA’s Peter Moore: ‘We Can Do Better’ (And Aren’t the Worst Company in America)

Video game giant Electronic Arts might not be rumored to be launching an always-online console, but people are pretty mad at them nonetheless. They have been a lot, lately, and now it seems that EA might be about to repeat its standing in a web poll that invites the online public to name the worst…

The Moneysaver: Grand Theft Auto V With $20 Credit And Other Crazy Pre-orders

Ready to get $15-$20 off the year’s biggest releases before they even come out? We’ve got a laundry list of pre-order discounts for everything from Grand Theft Auto V to Metro: Last Light. Regardless of your platform or preferred genre, there’s money to be saved after the jump. Pre-order GTA5 from Microsoft for a quick…

Sega Cancels Aliens: Colonial Marines On Wii U

Sega has just confirmed to Kotaku that Aliens: Colonial Marines is no longer coming out on Wii U. We first heard a few months ago that the Wii U version of the disastrous shooter had been “indefinitely postponed,” but Sega denied that. Since then, the publisher has refused to comment on this version of Aliens:…

There’s One Sure Way to Have Fun in Defiance

The MMO tie-in to SyFy’s upcoming Earth-plus-aliens series Defiance is in full swing, or as full a swing as it can manage, giventhe shaky start. While we’re waiting for Trion Worlds to fix wehat needs fixing, there’s at least one activity that’ll never let you down. Vrooom.

I’m a Game Designer. I’m a Gun Owner. It’s Time To End All This ‘Us vs. Them’

When I originally pitched writing this piece to Kotaku, I was a bit worked up. I had read some of Kotaku’s coverage of the post-Sandy-Hook gun vs. games debate, and I sent some pointed Tweets to Kotaku staff. I felt that the games industry media had not provided balanced coverage. I felt that every story…

We Need to Stop Tweeting Annoying Gaming Updates. Here’s How.

Earlier this week the Prime Minister of Egypt was globally ridiculed for a Twitter update generated from within Beeline Interactive’s popular Smurfs’ Village game. Last year a Spanish politician made headlines when his “son” tweeted a game update from Doodle Jump.When public figures do it, it’s mildly amusing, but when the average Joe’s Twitter feed…

The Xbox Listing For Double Dragon II Looks Like It Came Straight Out Of Google Translate

Does anyone actually read this stuff before it goes live? This is the actual listing for the Double Dragon II remake that hit Xbox Live today. It’s… quirky. Microsoft’s translation robots need some new batteries. “Also, characters are undressed from 80’s style, and recreated with modern sexy and beautiful style that amaze you and feel…

This amusing video shows how Michael Shanks, who has previously revealed to us what happened when Gordon Freeman met Chell, cut and blinked his way through Dishonored. A man after my own heart, for sure—though I did use the crossbow a lot more.

Happy Friday, everyone. Head over to our reader-run Talk Amongst Yourselves forum to talk about all things Friday and video games.

You Can Make This Man Bald, For A Good Cause

Cliff Bleszinski will get his head shaved if he can raise $10,000 to help kids with cancer. He’s asking gamers to donate to make it happen. The currently-unemployed lead designer of Gears of War is doing the fundraiser through the the St. Baldrick’s Foundation, a charity that raises money for kids’ cancer research. “I like…