In an effort to make one of the world’s oldest, most boring breakfast cereals slightly more palatable, General Mills has blasted pieces of shredded wheat with a metric f***ton of cinnamon, sugar, chocolate and peanut butter. It doesn’t help.
While the ultimate showdown between DC Comics’ iconic heroes doesn’t hit theaters until Friday, the battle begins now, in your mouth.
The Pharaohs of Ancient Egypt, surrounded by servants and draped in gold and jewels, were considered gods among their people, but godhood came with a price. They served their people in life. They served them in death. They served them breakfast for all eternity.
A man cursed with the form of a wolf, or a feral creature desperately attempting to shake of its vestigial ties to humanity? Whatever the balance of beast and boy in cherry-flavored Frute Brute be, both sides felt the sting of betrayal. Both have returned for their revenge.
The sudden chill as you turn into the cereal aisle; the soft, lilting voice at the periphery of hearing, musing on breakfasts long ago; the ephemeral taste of berry-like flavor on the tip of your tongue — all these are Boo Berry, the Monster Cereal forever trapped between this world and the next.
For the first time in America's troubled history, the five points on the pentagram of morning food evil glow as one upon store shelves, signaling the coming of the last complete breakfast. Five cereals in five days, and a Count Chocula shall lead them.
Zynga's massive community of fake farmers will plant its first branded crops in-game next week, teaching FarmVille players about organic farming and green living through a partnership with General Mills subsidiary Cascadian Farm.