Let's say you find yourself hungry with loads of uncooked bacon and an...assault rifle. Add lots and lots of bullets, and you have yourself a tasty bacon meal.
It's a dispiriting law of nature, but everything in pop culture eventually grows old and starts to lose its edge. Thankfully, corporate sponsors are always ready to step up and put a stop to this uncontrollable slide towards obsolescence. That, or just make it worse.
Meat is great and all, but bacon holds a special place in the pantheon of broiled flesh and seared sinews. Why do we find it so very delicious compared to other meats? Why is its scent so intoxicating? Here's a video that explains it all—with science!
Nothing gets a red-blooded American going in the morning like the smell of bacon on a skillet. Unfortunately, actual bacon requires a fair bit of work to get started. What if you could set your alarm clock to wake you up with the simulated smell of bacon? What if, indeed.
Some people hang clothes on their balcony. This resident, it seems, hangs meat. Lots of it.
You know what's awesome? That Parks and Recreation comes back on tonight. You know what else is awesome? This video of Nick Offerman, who plays gruff saxophone playing bureaucrat Ron Swanson on the show, playing bongos while performing slam poetry about bacon.
Give a man a snack, you keep him sated until dinner; teach a man to create a snack, and he'll make it once, tell everyone about it, and then never make it again, no matter how excellent it is.
Taking one page out of EpicMealTime and another out of some book in Skyrim about helmets made of bacon, internet person Liktwo made a Skyrim helmet. Out of bacon.
Sony's sexy spokesmodel Kevin Butler makes a fatal mistake in this new TV spot for LittleBigPlanet 2. I'm sorry, Mr. Butler, but nothing is better than bacon-wrapped cupcakes.
This video gives us a 15-minute taste of upcoming strategy third-person shooter Monday Night Combat with bonus developer commentary.
So I've been on a big BLT kick lately, getting there thanks to my old editor from Jacksonville, N.C. waxing nostalgic lately about 'mater sammiches and remembering this heartbreakingly brilliant work of sentimentality from three years ago.