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  Wait, it Costs $40,000 to PATCH a Console Game?

  Well, this is bananas. According to Double Fine’s Tim Schafer, the cost of getting a patch up on a modern console (presumably he means the Xbox 360 and/or PS3) is $40,000. That’s not to upload downloadable content. That’s just for a patch “Those systems as great as they are, they’re still closed”, Schafer told Hookshot.…

  By Luke Plunkett Published February 14, 2012
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  Hideo Kojima Thinks He’s Ryan Gosling Now

  The man? That’s Metal Gear creator Hideo Kojima. The jacket? That’s a replica of Ryan Gosling’s from the movie Drive. With Hollywood’s big night looming, a little Oscar party cosplay, perhaps? [Twitter]

  By Luke Plunkett Published February 14, 2012
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  Watch Someone Play Mass Effect 3 for 60 Minutes

  Many people already have access to the Xbox 360 demo for Mass Effect 3, so naturally, there are people recording the thing like crazy and uploading videos to YouTube. Here are just a couple of them. The first clip will get you some character creation and the intro. The second clip will get you the…

  By Luke Plunkett Published February 14, 2012
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  CultureTotal Recall

  The Amazing Place Where Mario & 80’s Pro Wrestling Came Together

  That amazing place being the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, which in these episodes below went all-out and brought in both Sgt. Slaughter and Rowdy Roddy Piper as guest stars. Aside from their wrestling fame, you may know the Sergeant as a GI Joe character. You should also hopefully know Piper as one of the…

  By Luke Plunkett Published February 14, 2012
• CultureTotal Recall

  Winter Isn’t Coming, It’s Already Here

  The real stars of video games aren’t the characters. They’re awfully fickle, and easy to kill. But background art? It’s forever. Welcome to Background Story, which will run most days as part of our new, expanded Total Recall programming block [via noirlac]

  By Luke Plunkett Published February 13, 2012
• CultureTotal Recall

  The Only Japanese Video Game Starring…Bruce Willis, Mike Tyson and…Alfred Hitchcock?

  If you’re the kind of person that believes violence isn’t the answer, then I have just the game for you. I hope you’re good at trivia questions instead, because otherwise you won’t get far in SNK’s 1991 quiz-em-up Quiz Daisousa Sen – The Last Count Down. Also, you’ll be off my team for the pub…

  Luke Taylor Published February 13, 2012
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  Total Recall Starts Here

  Total Recall is evolving! Gone is the once-every-day-or-two single feature about the history of video games, replaced with a daily block of posts running between 11pm and midnight ET. Confused as to what the hell these “blocks” are? See here!

  By Luke Plunkett Published February 13, 2012
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  The Dothraki Have No Word For ‘Valentine’

  Greetings, camp Kotaku, and welcome to the evening open thread. Have you had an enjoyable Monday? We sure have. We’ve debuted a couple of our new programming blocks, and I thoroughly enjoyed both of them. And hey, there’s a third one coming up in 30 minutes! In the meantime, here is a thread in which…

  By Kirk Hamilton Published February 13, 2012
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  Why You Can See Morrowind From Skyrim

  Last year, intrepid tinkerers on the PC version of Elder Scrolls V found the game didn’t just include the landmass of Skyrim. You could also, with a little work, visit other parts of Tamriel, like Morrowind and Cyrodiil, the settings of Elder Scrolls III & IV respectively. It was…a little odd. So we asked the…

  By Luke Plunkett Published February 13, 2012
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  Happy Valentine’s Day, Zelda! Here, Take My Heart

  Aww, that is one adorable Valentine’s Day card, custom-made by Adam Bing. Now if only Link could actually find Zelda to give it to her… (Via Albotas on Tumblr.)

  By Kirk Hamilton Published February 13, 2012
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  Call of Duty: Police Warfare is a (Very Cool) Fake

  The Call of Duty franchise has covered almost every corner of the globe, from snow-capped mountains to the streets of suburban America. But it’s never strayed too far outside of its military roots. What if there were a Call of Duty game that put you into the shoes of a different type of enforcer—namely, a…

  By Kirk Hamilton Published February 13, 2012
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  Active Duty Marine is Making a Video Game About Zombies

  Zombies, man. Everyone loves killing zombies. 22 year-old Marine Sergeant Jacob Way is betting that video game players love killing zombies enough to make room in their libraries for one more zombie-slaying simulator. Way has put all of his savings (around $40,000) into the development of I Shall Remain, a top-down zombie-murder simulator that looks…

  By Kirk Hamilton Published February 13, 2012
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  PlayStation Vita Winners Continue to Rage over Fishy Taco Bell Contest

  We continue to hear from people who have taken issue with the strange Taco Bell contest that claims to be giving a PlayStation Vita to customers every 15 minutes. More than 15 contestants have told Kotaku that after seeing on the Taco Bell website that they had won Vitas, they were later informed that their…

  By Jason Schreier Published February 13, 2012
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  Gotta Getta Vita

  “Hello, Kotaku.” | Sony cheekily included a customized greeting on the Vitas they sent us to review. The PlayStation Vita: The Kotaku Review If you’re in a hurry, you simply need to know that the PlayStation Vita is a very good portable video game machine that excels in ways that Sony hasn’t bothered to hype.…

  By Kirk Hamilton Published February 13, 2012
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  A Shrunken Cortana and Master Chief Wage War Against Halo’s Bad Guys

  The newest Halo Minimates aren’t going to offer up any clues to Halo 4, but they’re still worthy additions to the collections of fans who’ve been following the sci-fi series. First announced last September, the Series 4 set will mark the first time that Cortana’s been a bite-sized plaything. The UNSC vs. Covenant battles will…

  By Evan Narcisse Published February 13, 2012
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  Resistance: Burning Skies Comes to the Vita in May

  In a Q&A over at the PlayStation Blog, Sony announced that the PS Vita’s first-person shooter Resistance: Burning Skies will be released on May 29th.

  By Kirk Hamilton Published February 13, 2012
• Culture

  Find Retro Atari Classics on the Back of Specially Marked Boxes of General Mills Cereal

  It might not be the video game-branded cereal Lisa Foiles craves, but the Atari-classic branded General Mills cereal boxes popping up at Target stores across the country might have you bringing the box back to the breakfast table again. Five different cereals, five different games. In celebration of the 40th anniversary of video game pioneer…

  By Mike Fahey Published February 13, 2012
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  The Many Helmeted Faces of Halo‘s Master Chief

  The impressive array of Halo toys at the McFarlane Toys booth at the New York Toy Fair features Master Chief. And a bigger Master Chief. And a frozen Master Chief. And Master Chief with a gun. Happily, however, the franchise’s protagonist is not the only figure featured; the display contains a number of incredibly detailed…

  By Kate Cox Published February 13, 2012
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  Minecraft Won’t Be Coming to the Vita

  In a bit of disappointing news, Mojang’s Daniel Kaplan has told Eurogamer that the developer has no plans to bring Minecraft to Sony’s new PlayStation Vita handheld.

  By Kirk Hamilton Published February 13, 2012
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  Yuna’s Bobbling Bobblehead and Other Square-Enix Toy Wonders

  The Square Enix booth at the New York Toy Fair doesn’t just figure the adorable and dramatic RPG figures one might expect. Among the many others, we’ve spied Nathan Drake looking manly, Meryl Silverburgh looking deadly, and Garrus Vakarian looking, frankly, badass. [music by Anitek]

  By Kate Cox Published February 13, 2012