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Will The Next Star Wars Video Game Star Boba Fett?
It’s not exactly news that there’s a new Star Wars game coming. (Guess what: There is!) But the name for which Lucasfilm has filed for a trademark actually is kinda interesting, in a speculation-y way. The company has applied for a trademark on the name “Star Wars 1313” for an upcoming video game. This was…
By Kirk Hamilton Published May 7, 2012 - Uncategorized
Mass Effect 3 Writers Didn’t Want Same-Sex Romance to Be “a Straight Guy Writing Lesbians for Other Straight Guys to Look at”
Mass Effect 3 became the game in the sci-fi series where BioWare finally opened up the relationship possibilities for players wanting to romance a character of the same gender, with characters Esteban Cortez and Samantha Traynor only available for wooing if you played as a male or female Commander Shepard. Given the level of fan…
By Evan Narcisse Published May 7, 2012 -
UncategorizedThe Actual Singer Of The Actual Pokémon Song Actually Made A Version For Actual Presidential Candidate Ron Paul
Really. This is Jason Paige, the guy who sang the original theme song back in 1998. He’s a big Ron Paul fan, I guess. I don’t even know anymore. (Thanks, Zack!)
By Jason Schreier Published May 7, 2012 -
UncategorizedDatura: The Kotaku Review
Let me tell you about a dream I had. I was walking through a forest filled with butterflies and horseflies. Before me was a tree with the face of a man. I tore away at the bark, to find a pick-axe. Suddenly I was on a frozen lake. I looked down, wiped away an inch…
By Chris Person Published May 7, 2012 - Uncategorized
This is a Weird, Depressing Way To Unlock a New Assassin’s Creed Trailer
Earlier today, we got to see just a portion of a new Assassin’s Creed III trailer. Just a glimpse! Like this series on Facebook and you can see the whole thing! Or so we thought… I liked Assassin’s Creed on Facebook and I was led to the image you see here, an image that manages…
By Stephen Totilo Published May 7, 2012 -
UncategorizedBeat Levels of Super Mario Bros. By Hitting Tennis Balls At Them
Mario Tennis Open, due out for your 3DS later this month, has a few mini-games available for your Mario tennis ventures. But one in particular lets you traverse the Super Mario Bros. world by hitting tennis balls at Goombas and coins. Take a look at Elyas’ preview of this mini-game in the video above, featuring…
By Tina Amini Published May 7, 2012 -
ReviewsWendy’s Fries in a Wendy’s Frosty: The Snacktaku Review
Anyone can open up a package and devour the contents, or order an item off a grease-smeared backlit plastic menu. The true connoisseur knows that the most transcendent snacking experience lies away from those convenient, often slippery beaten paths. It’s the enlightened snackster that looks at a pseudo chocolate milkshake and a salty cardboard container…
By Mike Fahey Published May 7, 2012 - Uncategorized
Nintendo President Satoru Iwata Also Wonders Why the Avengers Need an Archer
“There is always the risk that you will run out of arrows. There is never a risk that The Incredible Hulk will run out of Hulk.” Hawkeye from the Avengers suffers the slings and arrows of outrageous Nintendo president in the latest installment of Nintendo Gamer‘s lost Iwata Asks files. No one is safe from…
By Mike Fahey Published May 7, 2012 - Uncategorized
There Will Be a New Need for Speed This Fall
Collect your winnings, people, on one of the safest bets in video games. There will be a new Need for Speed this fall, a fact EA believes it already told us (they did?). They’ve got it listed in a new slide that shows all their “announced” games for the rest of their financial year (ending…
By Stephen Totilo Published May 7, 2012 - Uncategorized
Star Wars: The Old Republic Loses 400,000 Subscribers
Star Wars: The Old Republic has dropped from 1.7 million active subscribers to 1.3 million, publisher Electronic Arts said today in an earnings statement. That’s a loss of nearly 25% for the massively multiplayer online role-playing game, or 400,000 subscribers. In its Q3 earnings statement earlier this year, EA reported 1.7 million The Old Republic…
By Jason Schreier Published May 7, 2012 -
UncategorizedGreat Moments in Gaming Humor: A Squirrel in a World of S***
The funniest thing about Conker’s Bad Fur Day isn’t the boozing, sexual situations, drug use, or foul language. It’s not even the boss fight against a living mound of feces with teeth made of corn kernels. It’s the fact that this Nintendo 64 classic started out a kid’s game. Bad Fur Day isn’t the first…
By Mike Fahey Published May 7, 2012 - Uncategorized
How About a Call of Duty That Shows the Human Side of Not Fighting a War
War is hell, and it never changes. Even when game developers promise to depict the more human side of military conflict, it all boils down to shooting other people as close to the face as possible. I want a game that shows the human side of not fighting a war. Something like Call of Duty:…
By Mike Fahey Published May 7, 2012 - Uncategorized
The Dorkly Weekly: Video Game Real Estate Agents Have it Rough
Filled with rusty meet hooks, jumping snakes, and the odd retractable bridge over a pit of bubbling lava, video game real estate isn’t exactly burning up the market. Well, in some cases it is, but only literally. Bowser’s castle from Super Mario Bros. isn’t a safe place to raise a family, but a good real…
By Mike Fahey Published May 7, 2012 - Uncategorized
Fake Gamer Of The Week: I Wish I Were Dead
How… how could this be? I had it. I really thought I had it. But no. It’s over. I lost the match. There are no repeats. It’s never coming back. It’s over. Just like everything else in my life. Five years ago, I never thought it would be this way. I never thought I’d be…
By Jason Schreier Published May 7, 2012 - Uncategorized
Theory No. 5 About Why Nintendo Lost Money Last Year
Over at Yahoo (or maybe The Week), some unnamed editor has rounded up the opinions of four other writers to alchemize a theory or four about why Nintendo lost more than $400 million last year, the company’s first annual loss I’m not sure how they missed the theory that I dare say is the right…
By Stephen Totilo Published May 7, 2012 -
UncategorizedDance, Dance, Dance, All Over Skyrim
From High Hrothgar to the Guardian Stones! From Dragonsreach to Wolfskull Cave! Where the hell is Dovahkiin? This video by Projectrooster, done in the style of that great Where the hell is Matt? video, asks the same question of our dragon-blooded Skyrim protgaonist. And the answer is pretty much the same: Why, the Dovahkiin is…
By Kirk Hamilton Published May 7, 2012 - Uncategorized
This Game About Making Coffee is Actually About Making Sweet Love
Coffee is pretty sexy. Especially home-ground, French-press coffee. You heat the water, you grind the beans, you push the plunger. Yes! Yes! Oh, God! Video game-maker of our hearts Pippin Barr, whose last game was based on the oh-so-dreamy Epic Sax Guy, has now crafted a new flash game about coffee, and also about sex.…
By Kirk Hamilton Published May 7, 2012