Meet The World’s Most Useless RPG Character

An RPG party member who can’t attack or even move, who spends every turn being the butt of more than a hundred jokes? Yes, he’s real, and I learned all about him at E3. Candy Corn is his name, and he’s a small yet rather funny part of Double Fine’s Halloween-themed RPG sequel, Costume Quest…

A Game About War With No Guns (Because You’re The Housekeeper)

Forget Call of Duty—it seems like the era of unique, fascinating games about war is underway. Case-in-point: Sunset, an exploration game that puts you in the role of a nosy housekeeper. As the housekeeper, you look after an apartment belonging to someone involved in the war that has broken out around you. From the game’s…

How You Rated E3 2014: Yesterday we polled our readers on how they rated each major publisher’s E3 performance out of ten, as well as what they thought of the show overall. After 25 hours of voting, the results: Microsoft: 7 Ubisoft: 7 EA: 5 Sony: 8 Nintendo: 10 E3 Overall: 8 Who “Won”: Nintendo…

Now You Too Can Program Like Arnold Schwarzenegger

Thanks to an intrepid programmer named Lauri Hartikka, we now have ArnoldC, a programming language where basic keywords are replaced with things Arnold has said in his many fine films. Where a “normal” program would say something like this: main() { printf (“Hello World”) } ArnoldC says this: IT’S SHOWTIME TALK TO THE HAND “Hello…

Shigeru Miyamoto Hears This Left-Handed Gamer’s Pain

Nintendo’s top game designer, Shigeru Miyamoto, is going to talk to his development teams about making Nintendo’s games a little more left-hander-friendly. It’s not a huge issue, but it’s one I’d been meaning to ask him about. Most Nintendo games play fine for lefties, but the company’s systems, particularly the Wii U and 3DS, sometimes…

​Reminder: Your PC Is Gross And You Should Probably Clean It

Yesterday I finally began the long process of upgrading my gaming PC. I opened ‘er up, excited to finally install that new hard drive I’d bought, and I came face to face with grim reality: Ah yes, the inside of my PC is gross and covered in dust and grime. I set about cleaning it—swiping…

Far Cry Saviors: here’s a great Joystiq interview with Far Cry 4’s narrative director, Mark Thompson, which makes me optimistic about FC4’s story. Basically, they recognize that Far Cry 3’s white savior framework was kind of whack, and they’re not going to do that with again with 4. Yay!

Are you a Final Fantasy V fan? Want to support charity? The annual Final Fantasy V Job Fiesta—in which players are assigned random jobs for each of the game’s four characters and play for charity—started this week. Check out the website to join or donate

Missing PS4 Features Still Coming, Sony Says

Way back in February of 2013, Sony indicated that the PS4 gamers would be able to put their console in sleep mode while playing a game and briskly return to it later. They also said that gamers could enlist a friend to take over a game via the Internet from another PS4. The PS4 currently…

There Was No Metroid At E3 This Year, But This Is Close

When I saw Axiom Verge on the show floor of E3, I thought to myself “Man, that sure does look a lot like Metroid.” It was only when I got my hands on it and talked to the guy behind it that I realized that it was a whole lot more. In the video above,…

Someone Paid Over $750,000 For The World’s Largest Video Game Collection

When Michael Thommason put it up for sale earlier this month, the prospect of taking hold of the world’s largest video game collection probably seemed like a tall order for gamers lacking the necessary funds or storage space. But one had the luck and $750,250 necessary to take home the prize. According to an update…