In the newest Hitman level, there’s this guy. He’s smoking a cigarette and taking in the view, reminiscing about what sounds like the grimmest safari ever.
You can watch him in the video above. Here is a full transcription:
It reminded me of one time in Zimbabwe some years ago. I had just taken out this big, awful, gigantic awful elephant. Then suddenly, out of… all out of nowhere, these baby calves come around crying and running at me out of the bush.
Now, what I’m about to say is gonna sound cruel, but I had to take them out, too. I mean what else can you do? You just leave ‘em to the lions? No. It’s more humane to put ‘em out of their misery. So that’s what I did. I took ‘em out. One by one. Out of their misery.
Yeah, one at a time. Pow. Pow. Pow. But some of ‘em didn’t die the first time so I had to do it again. Pow. Pow. Pow.
Yeah. I kept the tails for good luck, wanna see?
I think I speak for all of us when I say that despite myself, yes, I wanna see. The ghost lady who has somehow phased into the railing next to you also wants to see. We all wanna see.