Bandai Namco / FromSoftware / Distortion2 (YouTube)

Equipped with a shield, spear, and lots of pre-fight buffs, Distortion butt-pounded Margit, Godrick, Rennala, Radahn, and many others into submission. A Crystalian gets a taste along the way as well. While Distortion2’s Ground Slam deals good damage, it has a huge wind up and can’t capitalize on most openings.


“Our butt is about to get a big, big upgrade,” Distortion2 says halfway through the video. After defeating the Erdtree Avatar near the Great Waterfall Crest he gets the Staff of the Avatar which grants the weapon skill Erdtree Slam. “Now this thing, this thing, hehehe, this thing is beastly.”

He then proceeded to take on more bosses. “Show him how magnificently girthy your cheeks are,” the chat egged him on during a fight against another Erdtree. Distortion2 got his ass kicked by the Fire Giant a bit later, but he marshaled on, accruing more upgrades and slaying more bosses, until he eventually went ass-to-grass against the Elden Beast itself and came out on top.

“It’s done,” Distortion2 sighs at the end. I shudder to think of what he’ll attempt next.