Iâve been thinking a lot about how great actors end up in bad movies. Maybe it was prompted by Madame Web somehow trapping Euphoria star Sydney Sweeney, but itâs always sad seeing someone whose craft you admire working with bad material. Anyway, the first Borderlands live-action movie trailer is out today, and it features some iconic A-list talent like Cate Blanchett as Lilith, Jack Black as Claptrap, and Jamie Lee Curtis as Tannis. Kevin Hart is also here.
Look, Iâm not trying to make too-quick a judgment call on Lionsgateâs attempt to bring Gearboxâs wacky, zany, often crude shooter RPG to the big screen, but this trailer is giving Kirkland Signature Guardians of the Galaxy, without any of the wit. Everybodyâs yelling, there are extended bodily fluid jokes, and itâs all set to âDo Yaâ by The Moves. This is only two minutes of what will be a 90-minute+ movie, but it sure doesnât do much to make the movie look actually funnyâor like itâs a great use of the time and talent involved.
I like Borderlands, mostly. I enjoyed my time with the mainline games, but more than that, I feel Tales from the Borderlands is secretly Telltale Gamesâ best episodic adventure game. But this trailer feels like a supercut of Borderlandsâ most unfunny tendencies. These games can be pretty amusing, but itâs more like every third joke gets a chuckle out of you, and the other two that came before are usually just crude or edgelord shit. Itâs hardly a series I associate with highbrow humor, but I guess I would have expected to laugh at least once watching the trailer. Instead, we get extended piss and poop jokes. Oh, but the poop joke is from a robot voiced by Jack Black. Isnât it so silly?
The movie recreates a lot of the known visual elements of the Borderlands games, albeit without the usual coat of cel-shaded paint. There are masked Psychos, the desolate wastelands of Pandora look close enough, but damn, poor Blanchettâs bright red wig is giving discount cosplay. I donât know, yâall. I wasnât expecting much, but toilet humor and one-liners do not give a great first impression. You might argue that Borderlands canât facilitate much else, but if you think that, you should go play Tales from the Borderlands. The series has plenty of potential in the right hands.
At least everyone involved is finally getting to put the movie out and move on with their lives. A Borderlands live-action movie has been in various forms of development hell for almost a decade, with plans originally set into motion in 2015. Hostel director Eli Roth was finally given the directorâs chair in 2020, with Blanchettâs casting following shortly after. After some reshoots in 2023, the movie will premiere on August 9.
