Everything is fine until the Pinot Grig’ starts flowing on The Real Housewives of New York City…

…that’s basically the plot of Outlast. Every Real Housewives series, whether it takes place in New York City, Atlanta, or the bottom of a suburban dad’s luxury fishbowl, is really just about watching MILFs who hate each other drink too much and throw things. In every way possible, it reminds me of the incredible survival horror Outlast, which has you play as a cowering, weak journalist trying to escape the repulsive residents of the deteriorating Mount Massive Asylum.

In real life, I am the spineless journalist and the alcoholic MILFs of New York City are my captors. The only difference between me and Outlast’s protagonist is that I would never want to escape.

I happily live in the madness of on-screen divorce, silver bikinis, and the fact that we humans are so completely stupid. I hope reading through this list and playing some of the games helps you embrace that a bit more. It’s the least I can do.