Backhanded Box Quotes: Zeroes Aren't Hard to Find

Illustration for article titled Backhanded Box Quotes: Zeroes Arent Hard to Find

Welcome to "Backhanded Box Quotes," a collection of super pissed-off user reviews from people just like you! Whoa, whoa, don't take that personal.

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Spec Ops: The Line

Released: June 26.

Critic: hcookie (Metacritic)
"Incredible storyline. The Apocalypse Now for the next generation."
"Gameplay is fantastic and a great story. "
"Do not miss this game."

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But ...

"Once again, Developers fail to polish what is probably one of the better games released in 2012."
"And for that, what would have been a perfect 10 is now an 8."

And yet ...

Score: 0.

OK ...

The Amazing Spider-Man

Released: June 26.

Critic: Criticalkev1169 (Metacritic)
"[T]he graphics are amazing."
"[T]he combat system is amazing and very simple."

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But ...

Score: 0.

OK ...


Backhanded Box Quotes will be an occasional feature of Kotaku's Anger Management hour, unless it isn't.

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DISCUSSION

I firmly believe that number scores are terribly unhelpful. They are misleading, confusing, and divisive.

I used to use a number scoring system on my little YouTube channel, but I dispensed with that a while back. No matter how you do it, numbers are ultimately useless. I've seen plenty of 9-9.5 games that I absolutely do not enjoy at all. It's about personal preference and game quality, but the latter is up for interpretation at times. Yes, some things are universally bad, like broken controls, but what one person criticizes another will praise.

You have to get to know the reviewer, and then read/watch the review in its entirety. Ignore the number if there is, because that's beyond useless. Kotaku's "YES" or "NO" to the question, "Should you play this?" is just plain terrible. You're going to tell me what I will or won't enjoy? I think not.

In my reviews, I tend to suggest what type of gamer will enjoy the game. I might say, "If you enjoy hack and slash games, you'll probably like this one," or "If you enjoyed the prequel, you'll enjoy the sequel. Likewise if you didn't enjoy the prequel, you won't enjoy the sequel."

Ultimately, at the end of it all, no one can tell me I'm "wrong" (unless I messed up a small point of fact on the game's release date or whatever). I'm me, giving my opinions and my thoughts on the game, and you can take that however you want. Like I said, get to know what the reviewer likes, and if it similar to what you like, there you go.