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TF2 Mod Turns Gun Sounds Into ‘Danger Zone’ By Kenny Loggins
Normally miniguns just sound like regular guns. With this mod, they can sound like Top Gun(s). Yes, I went there, and I’m not sorry. Not even a little bit. The mod, created by Pynkie, gives the Heavy’s minigun the ability to spew chunky ’80s riffs alongside hot lead. If you merely rev it up but…
By Nathan Grayson Published December 5, 2014 -
Smash Bros Characters Would Be Passive-Aggressive Jerks In Real Life
Smash Bros characters wouldn’t fight in real life. Instead they’d do something much worse: argue. Loudly, quietly, passive-aggressively, on Facebook, or entirely silently, in Link’s case. Prepare to watch your childhood heroes be total dicks to each other. Buzzfeed brings us this video of characters like Mario, Luigi, Link, Zelda, and Pikachu “fighting for real,”…
By Nathan Grayson Published December 5, 2014 -
QTEs Don’t Have To Suck
“Press X to not die.” It’s a gaming cliche at this point, one that many view as a symptom of lazy game design. Quick time events, as they’re known, are glorified cut-scenes. Things happen, and we press buttons that don’t really match up with the action on screen. They can be pretty bad I don’t…
By Nathan Grayson Published December 4, 2014 -
The Original Wolfenstein Is Way Funnier With Real Physics
Back when id Software first released Wolfenstein 3D, widely regarded as the Nazi-blasting grandpappy of the first-person shooter genre, I doubt they imagined it’d one day be turned into… this. Made by Broforce developer Free Lives as part of the Indies vs Pewdiepie game jam, Super Wolfenstein HD is a modern reimagining of id’s classic.…
By Nathan Grayson Published December 3, 2014 -
The Game That Made Me Realize I’ve Let Down My Family
I didn’t go home for Thanksgiving this year. In truth, I rarely go home for Thanksgiving. I’ve been living away from home for basically my whole adult life—first just an hour away during college, now much further away in San Francisco—and I visit sporadically. Once or twice a year. Usually for Christmas. But as a…
By Nathan Grayson Published December 3, 2014 -
A Game About Spanking. Consensual Spanking.
Hurt Me Plenty is a game about spanking. Consensual adult spanking, not debatably-traumatic-for-small-children spanking. It aims to do one thing games are notoriously terrible at: be sexy. (Warning: might be mildly NSFW, though not really.) The free game, as you may have surmised by now, is about spanking dudes. For the time being, it only…
By Nathan Grayson Published December 2, 2014 -
You Can Now Livestream Games On Steam
Ever since the dawn of the Twitch livestreaming age, it’s seemed like a no-brainer for Steam to add some sort of quick and easy broadcasting option. And yet for some reason (hint: it’s Valve), they’ve taken their time. But finally, it’s here. Valve explained the new feature, called broadcast, on an update page. Finding a…
By Nathan Grayson Published December 2, 2014 -
Game Called Infini-Quest Has, Spoilers, Infinite Quests
And you can do pretty much anything during those quests. I covered myself in pig’s blood and danced around a quizzical swan. According to Infini-Quest, my actions won’t soon be forgotten. I should hope not. Infini-Quest is a free procedurally generated adventure game. This means that each time you start playing, you get a whole…
By Nathan Grayson Published December 1, 2014 -
Resident Evil And Luigi’s Mansion Are A Match Made In Nintendo Hell
On today’s episode, the part of Chris Redfield will be played by… Luigi? Sure, why not. Polygonal artist Glenatron—who you might remember from his interactive Metal Gear diorama—has put together another pristine snow globe world for us to explore. This time, it’s a fusion of the first Resident Evil and Nintendo’s own spooky mansion sim,…
By Nathan Grayson Published December 1, 2014 -
EsportsPro Cheating Fiasco Leads To Incredible Counter-Strike Final Match
After a huge cheating scandal that sent allegations—as opposed to Counter-Strike‘s normal weapon of choice, bullets—flying, this weekend’s DreamHack 2014 pro finals produced one of the best matches Global Offensive has seen. It nearly didn’t happen, however, thanks to, yep, more cheating. In the wake of Valve’s discovery that three high-profile pro Counter-Strike: Global Offensive…
By Nathan Grayson Published December 1, 2014 -
I Wish More Games Were About Deception
I really enjoyedTales From The Borderlands, but one bit, especially, struck me. As Fiona, cold-hearted con artist extraordinaire, I had to lie. But I had to do it artfully, or else I was in deep trouble. It was one of the tensest video game moments I’ve played in ages. I don’t like lying. I’m really…
By Nathan Grayson Published November 27, 2014 -
The Xbox One Is Basically Indestructible
Which new-gen console is more durable? Which can fall from a place high enough to kill a man and keep ticking? This is certainly one way to find out. Oh, and loser gets chainsawed in half. Wired’s Battle Damage segment subjected the Xbox One and PlayStation 4 consoles to an endless torrent of torment. Or…
By Nathan Grayson Published November 26, 2014 -
Esports
Counter-Strike‘s Pro Cheating Scandal Might Be A Good Thing
Hear me out: Counter-Strike‘s pro cheating scandal—which has seen three top-tier players get banned and others put under a hot magnifying glass of scrutiny—sucks right now, but it could be a good thing in the long run. Or it could create standards the sport can never live up to. I know, I know: on paper…
By Nathan Grayson Published November 25, 2014 -
World of Warcraft‘s New Dude Blood Elves Literally Have No Butts
Pretty much every race on World of Warcraft‘s colorful roster has received a modern makeover at this point. Every race, that is, except blood elves. Soon that will change. But I’m gonna level with you here: the new dude blood elves literally don’t have butts. What’s up with that? I mean, look at that. Nothing.…
By Nathan Grayson Published November 25, 2014 -
Tales From The Borderlands Could’ve Been Awful, But It’s Great
I’ll admit, I went into Tales from the Borderlands with pretty low expectations. Don’t get me wrong: I like a lot of things about the zany world in which Gearbox’s Borderlands shooter series takes place, but it’s good for… shooting. Tales is an all-story adventure game. Yikes, right? (Note: minor spoilers ahead. I don’t mention…
By Nathan Grayson Published November 25, 2014 -
Amiibo Nearly Wins Super Smash Bros Tournament
A Fox Amiibo—as in, a CPU-controlled version of a character housed in a tiny action figure—took third place in a Smash Bros tournament against real humans. It was a Fox Amiibo. Of course it was Fox. Twitch streamer dazee recounted the tale in a series of tweets (as spotted by NeoGAF). At a local Smash…
By Nathan Grayson Published November 24, 2014 -
EsportsTop Counter-Strike Players Caught In Big Cheating Scandal
To say that all is not well in Counter-Strike: Global Offensive‘s pro scene would be a massive understatement. Multiple pros have been caught cheating by Valve’s official anti-cheat software, and even more are suspected. It all started when a semi-pro German player named Simon “smn” Beck got banned by the E-Sports Entertainment Association’s tools. Given…
By Nathan Grayson Published November 24, 2014 -
Activision Targets Call Of Duty Glitch Videos For Take Down
All glitches are not created equal. Some are game-breaking, but others can be kinda fun. Some can even be both. You’ve likely seen YouTubers racked by spasms of scream-laughter at them. Activision’s been taking down videos of certain glitches, much to the chagrin of some. Video network Machinima says Activision has been more trigger happy…
By Nathan Grayson Published November 22, 2014 -
Creepy Little Girl Terrorizes DayZ
I’ve seen some creepy video game shenanigans in my time— for instance, Grand Theft Auto V‘s silent, ruthlessly determined serial killer. This, however, might just take the cake. This is actually pretty ingenious. Lycku created a soundboard of Scylla, a little girl from popular action-MOBASMITE. Then he, for lack of a better word, unleashed it…
By Nathan Grayson Published November 21, 2014 -
GTA V Stunts Are Even More Intense In First-Person
Aaaaa! His plane just barely avoided smashing nose-first into that— oh no! Swoop under the stoplight! Swoop! OK, phew, but oh god there is a building RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. I think I’m gonna be sick. There is a long and storied history of physics-defying GTA V stunts that’d drain both the evil and knievel…
By Nathan Grayson Published November 21, 2014
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