Looking to stay competitive with gas stations, baseball stadiums and guys with dirty food carts, Burger King today became the biggest restaurant-based seller of hot dogs in the nation. But who goes to a restaurant for a regular hot dog? Aside from me, I mean.
I am a huge fan of the sorry sausages that have come to be known as hot dogs, but paying someone else to make one for me feels like some sort of scam. They’re the most affordable meat product in the grocery store this side of bologna and olive loaf. For $1.99, the asking price of Burger King’s basic hot dog, I can buy 16 really horrible sausages of questionably quality from the fine folks at Gwaltney (slogan: Gwaltney, when you’re too broke to give a damn).
And should you not feel up to the task of cooking a hot dog, they grow naturally at gas stations across the country. Gas station hot dogs, characterized by their thick leathery skin and two for two bucks price tag, are some of the greatest dirty things a person can eat.