The Internet Reacts To Phranque, The New God Of War’s Talking Cube

I have never played a God of War. I have watched other people play large chunks of them, but I have never felt compelled to take on the persona of big axe muscle man stomping around mythology myself. However, I think I may be about to play a God of War for two reasons: one, the protagonist is a beautiful, powerful, magical woman. Two: Phranque, the talking cube.

There he is! Yes, this is a real character in the new God of War, titled God of War: Laufey. The game follows Faye, Kratos’ wife, who has died and been sent to Everywhen, the afterlife of the gods, which appears to be a big wonderful mishmash of all the mythologies of the world ever tossed into one place. One of those world religions from some time and place seemingly worships a large gelatinous cube named Phranque (pronounced “Frank”), so he’s here (along with his friend, who’s a sword) to help out Faye. He’s not just decoration, either. He bounces around the battlefield and tries to crush things to help in combat.

Anyway as you might imagine, everyone loves Phranque. For some people, like me, he was the highlight of the trailer:

Some disturbing individuals want to eat him:

Some people just want to understand him better:

This is pretty clearly some sort of Dungeons & Dragons reference to the Gelatinous Cube enemy, which has been a fan favorite for decades now, but I am very much looking forward to examining the godhood of Phranque.

Some people are acknowledging (rightly) that the cube is very stupid but also they (rightly) love him and feel that more video games should be stupid in this way:

Some folks are reacting to the news that Frank is voiced by Jack Quaid, who has appeared as Hughie Campbell in The Boys, Brad in Star Trek: Lower Decks, and Superman in My Adventures with Superman. I’m just obsessed with this image of him doing, I kid you not, MOTION CAPTURE, as a giant cube:

I have yet to see a single person who is unhappy about Phranque, the most premier little guy I’ve seen this year so far. I’m sure someone will come out of the woodwork to hate on my gooey buddy, but for now I’m fully on board with this massive upgrade to Atreus. Give me a magical lady afterlife adventure with the cube by my side. We can do anything together.