XI: Thou Shalt Not Smush Goombas

Illustration for article titled XI: Thou Shalt Not Smush Goombas

Swear, I'm not turning Sundays on Kotaku into Pastor Owen's Hour of Power. GamePolitics found a discussion on the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod (Lutherans: no serpent handling, but one hell of a fish fry) that asks whether virtual killin' — suicide included — is a sin in the eyes of God. Answer: Not reeeeally. God's more considered with you making a huge waste of the time He gave you on Earth.The Q&A from the Synod:

Q: I'm very sure that killing/suicide stealing and anything like that is not accounted as an actual sin if it's only in video games. But I'm still not very sure, when I play video games, I'm not murdering at heart because I would never try to take the life of any living thing. And whatever is a video game can't die because it's not alive in the first place, video games are a false alternate reality... A: As normally defined, taking the life of another in video games (as in acting or in any other fantasy situation) is not a sin against God's prohibition to murder. If, however, what is done in the video game is an expression of hatred or callous disregard for human life, then the heart and motives are wrong, and then it is sin in God's eyes... For the record, however, obsession with video games can involve other departures from God's will... Typically, this can involve a colossal misuse of valuable time and also end up diverting time and attention from more useful and valuable pursuits that better glorify God and serve our neighbor...


If virtual kills were indeed a sin, even exchanged at a rate of 100:1, we'd all be about six levels below Ted Bundy in hell. And virtual suicide, oh come on. That said, I am absolutely certain that what I did in Call of Juarez is a sin — using Reverend Ray, whippin' out the Bible to read some scripture and baffle my fellow man, and then shooting him in the face. It was also fun as hell, too. Aside, I have a friend with this theory on the afterlife. When you die, your soul is placed in a phone booth, into which is poured all of the beer you wasted in your life. This includes kegs you bought for a party that were never finished. If the level does not rise above your nose, you go to heaven. If I tell this to 10 people, maybe three have to think about it. The other seven all swiftly and confidently say, "Oh, I'm good." Is Killing in Video Games a Sin? [GamePolitics]

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I'll say what I said on GP: That goomba needed a good curb stomp.