Metal Gear Survive tosses players into a giant wasteland full of zombies and dangerous animals, where they have to loot supplies and build up a massive base. Heather and Paul pilfered potatoes and gaped at nanotech dinosaurs in the game’s single player mode.

The early hours of Metal Gear Survive are a one hell of a grind as lengthy cutscenes and numerous tutorials slow the game down Things get better when you can explore the game world. The map is packed with animals to hunt, ruins to explore, and dangerous zombies to backstab. However, the story is generic and the wilderness’ browns and grays bleed together as time goes on. Small moments can be tense and exciting, but it mostly feels like a chore.

Survive waffles between a genuinely fun wilderness survival experience and a bizarre and nonsensical franchise cash-in. One moment you’ll be sneaking through a zombie-infested basement to gather medical supplies; the next you’ll stare slack jawed at massive crystal kaiju that would be more appropriate in Dark Souls or Morrowind. Survive wants to be a pulpy zombie movie, a gritty tale of intrigue, and a mind-boggling sci-fi spectacle, but it doesn’t manage to do any of those things particularly well.

I’ve just scratched the surface of Metal Gear Survive. The early hours are slowly opening up to include new monsters and gear. It feels like a bizarre mixture of Metal Gear Solid 3’s outdoorsy hunting sensibilities and an blaring loud arcade game crafted in the coldest corporate laboratories. The result is a game perplexingly engrossing, like staring out of your window at a car wreck. It’s a tragedy but you can’t look away.