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The Resurgence of My Nintendo 3DS, According to the Only Stats that Matter

Nintendo would like you to think that the 3DS, once ballyhooed and then dismissed for a dud, is making a comeback. They’ll show you the numbers. Their numbers don’t matter. Mine do. And my 3DS numbers—the numbers that show how much time I used Nintendo’s newest handheld day-by-day, month-by-month, throughout 2011 since the system launched—tell…

By Stephen Totilo Published December 6, 2011

You Should Definitely Buy Your Child a Nintendo DS3, the 3D Version of the DS

Demonstrating that sometimes Speak Up on Kotaku only needs to be a single link with a little color commentary, colorful commenter Killer Toilet shares with us a little holiday gift buying tip courtesy of Fox News’ Kim Kommando Fox be trolling the 3DS. It’s apparently for children “too young for smartphones”. They call it a…

By Mike Fahey Published December 6, 2011

The Xbox Kinect Can Teach You How to Kick a Mugger in the Groin

Would you trust a video game to teach you how to get out of a choke hold and fend off a mugger? Self Defense Training Camp is a new Kinect controlled fitness game for the Xbox 360 that is designed to teach you to defend yourself. I was skeptical that it could work. The Kinect…

By Chris Carolan Published December 6, 2011

Battlefield 3’s Back to Karkand Live Now, But Not Without Problems

Battlefield 3’s Back to Karkand expansion pack is live in Europe and hits the rest of the world this afternoon, if you own the Playstation 3. PC and Xbox 360 owners will need to wait until Dec. 13. The worldwide roll-out, Electronic Arts warns, is experiencing some minor issues: “Please use the Quick Match filter…

By Brian Crecente Published December 6, 2011

Talk Amongst Yourselves

Has anybody heard about the rumors of an upcoming Rampage movie? I have always had a soft spot for terrible video game movies. Hell, I even enjoy the Super Mario Brothers movie. What are your favorite video game movies? And, if I can admit to loving the Mario movie, someone must love the Double Dragon…

By Chris Carolan Published December 6, 2011

Vietnam Makes Its Call of Duty

It was France’s “dirty war”, an unpopular struggle in Vietnam against the French authority governing the colonies of French Indochina. The eight-year First Indochina War ended in 1954 with the historic battle of Dien Bien Phu, a fight that some historians say marks one of the first times a colonial independence movement managed to grow…

By Brian Crecente Published December 6, 2011

Inertia Catapults From Xbox Live Indie Darling to Android Excellence

If you’re not moving forward you’re doing it wrong. That’s the philosophy that launched Inertia: Escape Velocity from its humble beginnings as an Xbox Indie student project to a full-featured mobile game for Android and iOS devices. It’s also the strategy you’ll need to employ to advance through the games 35 plus levels of off-the-wall…

By Mike Fahey Published December 6, 2011

Square Enix Browser Game. Yay?

Squared | TOKYO, JAPAN: Square Enix has a new browser game and roped in Japanese celebs to promote it. (Photo: 4Gamer) The Darkness II’s Multiplayer Is Co-op Only. Introduces Four New Characters The Darkness II doesn’t have traditional multiplayer. There are no multiples of Jackie Estacado using their powers over The Darkness to fight it…

By Brian Ashcraft Published December 6, 2011

Final Fantasy XIV‘s Subscription Period Gets a Start Date, Cheaper Rates

Beleaguered Final Fantasy XIV is being reborn as Final Fantasy XIV: Version 2.0. Part of that rebirth means that the PC game’s free-to-play period is coming to a close. The billing period commences next month. Staring Jan. 6, Final Fantasy XIV‘s subscription will begin. According to Square Enix, those who have not selected a subscription…

By Brian Ashcraft Published December 6, 2011

The Powers, Weapons and Cursed Heroes of The Darkness II’s Vendettas

The Darkness II’s four new characters, each cursed with Darkness-imbued weapons, were all created by renowned comic book writer Paul Jenkins. Jenkins had no direction, just to go and create four people cursed to carry weapons powered by the Darkness, I was told. Here’s what he came up with. Make sure to click on the…

By Brian Crecente Published December 6, 2011

The Darkness II’s Multiplayer Is Co-op Only. Introduces Four New Characters

The Darkness II doesn’t have traditional multiplayer. There are no multiples of Jackie Estacado using their powers over The Darkness to fight it out in endless battles. The core mythology of The Darkness prevents it. So when Digital Extremes decided to expand their game to allow more than one player, they needed to get creative…

By Brian Crecente Published December 6, 2011

Prototype 2‘s Protagonist Started Life as a White Dude

Sgt. James Heller from Prototype 2 is not a white guy. He’s a black guy. But he didn’t begin his life that way. “We started off with an amalgamation of Hugh Jackman and Clint Eastwood, and the resulting render looked remarkably similar to James Marsden—so we were like ‘Okay, scratch that one out,'” Ken Rosman,…

By Brian Ashcraft Published December 6, 2011

Um, Link Doesn’t Just Absorb Those Fairies…

So Link walks into a Fairy cave, stashes some in a bottle, then just kinda…absorbs another to refill his health. Wait, absorb? That’s a little vague. Wouldn’t he need to…yeah. It’s horrible. The next time you crack open a bottle and top yourself up in a Zelda game, just think about what you’re actually doing,…

By Luke Plunkett Published December 6, 2011

An Accidental Gay Romance

Some might call this a fluke, a twist of fate—a coincidence. Striker Andy Carroll makes his way down the pitch, tries to score a goal and ends up (accidentally?) scoring with Arsenal’s keeper. The keeper of kisses. Video games are short on men kisses. Some games, such as Bully from Rockstar, have valiantly added them.…

By Brian Ashcraft Published December 6, 2011

Skyrim Now Works With Kinect (On PC)

Look at this guy. He’s rigged up a copy of Skyrim to work with Kinect. And it doesn’t just work. It works well Stuff like menu juggling looks like a bit of a pain, as it’s slower owing to the necessity for voice control. But movement and combat? It looks way less horrible than it…

By Luke Plunkett Published December 6, 2011

Scott Hates Pokémon More Than You

If the world was overrun with Pokémon, how would you handle it? Probably better than Scott here. It goes for a bit too long, but then, if poor Scott has to put up with Pokémon, we have to put up with a good joke that overstays its welcome. It’s only fair.

By Luke Plunkett Published December 6, 2011

Old Republic Already Has More Players Than Most Finished Games

Upcoming Star Wars MMO Old Republic isn’t even out yet. It’s still in a beta. Yet over the Thanksgiving weekend in the US over 725,000 people logged on and played the thing. What’s more, they didn’t just log on, play for three minutes and log off. The average user played for 12 hours over those…

By Luke Plunkett Published December 6, 2011

Space Looks Too…Damn…Cute…

Want some new desktop or phone wallpaper? You’re covered. So covered. Here’s some rad new artwork from Capybara’s upcoming Super TIME Force. A 1920×1080 version is above, while iPhone 4, iPad, 1600×1200 and 1280×1024 resolutions are available here HERE, TAKE THESE PIXEL ART WALLPAPERS [CAPY]

By Luke Plunkett Published December 6, 2011

The Time a Green Fairy Called Newt Gingrich a “Fascist”

Newt Gingrich, who may very well become the next President of the United States, has a second life. No, I don’t mean his second life as a lobbyist, I mean literally, a second life. A few years ago, the leading GOP candidate for President created a Second Life avatar and gave a long lecture on…

Wagner James Au | New World Notes Published December 6, 2011

What’s Ubisoft’s New MMO? A Wii U Game?

Yesterday, Ubisoft’s Emile Gauthier posted a seemingly innocent Twitter message, asking for people to come work on Ubisoft Quebec’s “NEW AAA MMORPG Game”. Turns out the actual advertisements are a little more descriptive. While some simply say MMO, or AAA MMO, others say it’s a “WII U AAA Game”, which suggests the game may well…

By Luke Plunkett Published December 6, 2011