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Here’s a Song Made From Jeff Goldblum’s Ridiculous Jurassic Park Laugh

So, first, watch this, which is Jeff Goldblum (as chaos theory mathematician Ian Malcom) snickering? chortling? snortling? chickering? in 1993’s Jurassic Park. Not exactly a meme, but hold onto your butts, it’s gonna be one, big time. Now listen to this, which is (clears throat) Hahahrawrrahaha by FLIPSH0T (feat. Jeff Goldblum) You will not be…

Danish Firm Buying Duke Nukem‘s Original Studio [Update]

3D Realms, the beleaguered original developer of Duke Nukem Forever, will be acquired by a Danish firm that had been set to publish a new Duke Nukem game until both were sued last week by Gearbox Software The report, by Reuters, first appeared inBørsen, a leading financial newspaper of Denmark. Frederik Schreiber, the CEO and…

Reminder: No ‘Shop Contest today, if you’re looking for that. Owen’s not here next week.

Here’s The Censored Version Of South Park: The Stick of Truth

Via Reddit, here’s what you see when you try to play a certain scene in the European version of South Park: The Stick of Truth on consoles. (Warning: minor spoilers.) Ubisoft has said they censored the game for “marketing reasons.” The PC version of the game remains unaffected. The Stick of Truth is out on…

Kotaku ‘Shop Contest: Sonic Bust 2: The Winners

My final Kotaku ‘Shop Contest began with a rehash of Sonic and it ends with my two favorite artists, sciteach (left) and uscg_pa (right), exploring a similar theme and tied for first place. Eighteen more finalists are inside. Note: no new ‘Shop Contest challenge tomorrow because I won’t be here to wrap it up next…

Take the Bloody Shot with Skyfall Recreated in Grand Theft Auto

Over on the subreddit GTA Adventures there’s a weekly challenge to film a recognizable scene from a movie. Up this week:the opening sequence fromSkyfall The re-enactment takes some liberties, probably because it’d be hard to plunge a backhoe’s claw into the caboose of an indestructible train. Overall, it gets my Oscar nomination for stunt coordination.…

Hitting 55 Straight Green Lights in New York is the Ultimate High Score

This guy makes 55 consecutive stoplights in Manhattan without coming to a full stop. It’s like a real-life version of Flappy Bird. Granted, the filmmaker, Tim Burke (not Deadspin‘s Tim Burke) did so around 3 a.m., when there’s nothing but a few nighthawk cabs on the road, and you can sort of set your own…

Everyday Choices Are a Lot Harder in Final Fantasy VII

When it comes to the routine of daily life, Final Fantasy VII doesn’t leave you with many good options. Take grocery shopping with Cloud, for example, as imagined by Fox’s Animation Domination Hi-Def

Ryse: Son of Rome introduces five new maps, two gladiator character skins, one new mode of play and with the Mars’ Chosen Pack. It’s $8.99, or free for those who bought the game’s season pass for DLC.

Sick of cusswords? There’s a movie-themed wordpack for The Typing of the Dead: Overkill in time for the Oscars. You can frantically pound out “I love the smell of napalm in the morning” to blow back the zombie horde. It’s $2.99, available now on Steam.

Twitch Beats Pokémon!

Early this morning U.S. Eastern time, after 16 days, seven hours, 50 minutes and 19 seconds, the combined strength of hundreds of thousands of Twitch viewers defeatedPokémon Red. You can watch the final battle against Blue right here. After launching Feb. 12, the game began battling the Elite Four yesterday afternoon. Conceived as a social…

The Best of Kotaku, The Week of February 24

Gather ’round, everyone. It’s the weekend. It’s March. It’s the month of Titanfall, South Park, Dark Souls II, Ground Zeroes, Yoshi’s New Island, the Game Developers Conference and, here in the northern hemisphere, spring. Hooray! Celebrate by catching up on the finest original Kotaku stories from the past week over atKotaku Selects Very cool top…

What’s gonna happen on True Detective? Who’s the Yellow King? What’s Rust been up to all these years? Your guess is as good as mine. If you DO have predictions, I hope you’ll share them here, and also check out this great Wired feature breaking down some of the most popular theories.

New Sports Game Is Wonderfully Stupid

The PES and FIFA games may be capable simulations of men running around a field kicking things. But there’s a new, more ridiculous football (soccer) simulation in town. Goofball Goals. Football, soccer, whatever you want to call it, is a sport that people seem to enjoy. It’s made all the more enjoyable when you have…

Good news for gaming headset owners: The Xbox One March update will bring with it support for optical Dolby audio output, meaning that your Astro/Turtle Beach/other gaming headset will finally get a full surround signal. Polygon‘s tested an Astro headset and they say it works great.

The Greatest X-Men Story Ever Told Is Getting A Video Game

Today Marvel Comics announced Uncanny X-Men: Days Of Future Past, a mobile game based on the dark future storyline from The Uncanny X-Men issues 141 and 142. Yes, it is a mobile game, but it’s a 2D side-scrolling mobile game from Glitchsoft, the folks behind He-Man: The Most Powerful Game in the Universe andDestructopus, so…

Toddler Does League Of Legends Impression, Nails It

Aww. This little girl’s impression of League of Legends character Teemo isn’t just adorable, it’s also spot-on. It’s also, thankfully, not just a riff of ‘What Does The Fox Say.’ Whew. Here’s Teemo’s actual voice acting, for comparison’s sake: Thanks for the cute send-off into the weekend, Sophie (and lewiegun!) (Via Reddit) Sophie’s Teemo Impression…

Why ​Mighty Avengers Is My Favorite Marvel Comic Right Now

I thought I was going to have to drop Mighty Avengers because Greg Land’s art is so off-puttingly plastic. (That great art above is by Ronald Wimberly.) But the series is too damn good for me to abandon. I might even like it more than Daredevil or Hawkeye. I love Mighty Avengers. Written by Al…

AATTVVV Defeats Lance And Earns A New Title

In the last battle of the Elite Four, our roster was cut down to only our last pokemon, AATTVV. And he rose to the challenge, earning himself a new title, All Terrain Dragonslayer

Old-School Gamer Hate Mail, Tim Schafer Edition

Here’s a fun little extra from my interview with Double Fine’s Tim Schafer that I couldn’t leave on the cutting room floor. It’s about one old-school gamer’s arguably-legitimate complaint about one of Schafer’s classic creations. To set this up, Schafer and I were nearing the end of a half-hour conversation in Las Vegas at the…