Twenty-Five Years Later, Goonies Still Never Say Die

Illustration for article titled Twenty-Five Years Later, Goonies Still Never Say Die

With no sequel, no reboot, no spinoffs - just one movie and one video game - The Goonies is a rarity, a phenomenon supported by two decades of nearly unexploited nostalgia. The film's 25th anniversary of its release is today.


This weekend in Astoria, Ore., the real-life setting of the 1985 film saw a gala reunion attended by hordes of fans and nearly all of the Goonies cast - and what a breath of fresh air that doesn't have to be qualified as "the original cast."

That includes of course, Jeff Cohen, now a high-powered entertainment lawyer who's visited Kotaku to dispense legal advice to gaming figures. But 25 years ago, as Chunk, he gave the film its best lines, its iconic "Truffle Shuffle," and infused it with the underdog humanity that makes The Goonies so beloved today.


The Washington Post put together a wonderful feature on the weekend and a retrospective on the appeal of the film, sort of an original text for a geek culture movement that hit its mainstream stride much later. I encourage everyone to read it, especially all of those in 1985 who were, like me and my best friends, sleepover-age comic-book reading dorks, who didn't want to discover an amazing treasure buried beneath our sleepy hometowns as much as we just wanted to find our time. Down here.

'Goonies' Fans Descend on Oregon Town to Celebrate Movie's 25th Anniversary [The Washington Post]

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Now don't get on my back for this, but I actually hated The Goonies.

Hear me out, the movie is perfect in every way, a story about friendship and camaraderie coupled with a classic adventure that makes a great movie, "Goonies never die!", etc., I still love watching it and it should be required watching for everyone.

I hated it because when I saw it as a young boy, I had no friends of my own. I would see the movie and think, man, why can I have dependable and trustworthy friends like that.

All I had ever seem to get were assholes (I carried all my books in my backpack because some asshole thought to break into my locker and steal all of my books. Thank you, you piece of shit, whoever you are! And did I tell y'all about the time someone kicked me while I was taking a piss? Yeah, the rest of the day was fun for me, I really loved the piss on my pants!) and people not interested in any sort of friendship.

No sleepovers, no meeting up at a movie theater, no video games sessions, no sunny days riding bikes with friends. It was me, always alone.

I'd overhear conversations, "Did you see Tim?", "Yeah, that was hilarious, he ran his bike into the car door!", and I wished I could have had those conversations with a group of friends.

And then I see this movie.

God damn it.

I still love watching it, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I get angry. But then I realize a couple of things: It's just a movie and Hollywood can make great stories, while real life is different. It is harsh, unforgiving, and never easy.

It's a lot better now than it ever was back then, but I can't wonder what life would be like if I ever had found myself a group like that.

Maybe I wouldn't be so stupid as to write a page long post on Kotaku that is just me whining, haha!