Are you role-playing a Sonic the Hedgehog character—even an extremely minor one—on Twitter? You better tell everyone your account isn’t official, otherwise Sega is going to call you out, and turn your colleagues on you, requiring a lot of double-parenthetical out-of-character tweets. And nobody wants that.
The most insane foofaraw involving Sega’s official Twitter and ordinary fans boiled up this afternoon when a guy pretending to be Jet the Hawk—that’s right, the character who debuted in the 2006 hoverboard-racing spinoff Sonic Riders—endorsed a strange concept for the forthcoming Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed. To wit:
“I would like to suggest Jet riding a bathtub of spaghetti and meat balls accompanied by a mozzarella stick would give players that extra edge they’re craving from your games.” (illustrated above)
The guy role-playing Jet on Twitter tweeted that to Sega’s official account. Rather than laugh it off, it’s time to play the Feud!
@Jet_the_Hawk can you update your twitter and tumblr page to list you as UNOFFICIAL? Thank you 🙂
— SEGA (@SEGA) August 23, 2012
Jet’s reply. Double parentheticals mean the writer is responding out-of-character.
@SEGA ((With all due respect, is that really necessary?))
— Jet the Hawk (@Jet_the_Hawk) August 23, 2012
Sega digs in:
@Jet_the_Hawk yes, it is. Thank you in advance.
— SEGA (@SEGA) August 23, 2012
And then it’s on. Zector the Zone Cop, a character even more insignificant than Jet, pings Sega.
HEY @SEGA AM I COOL AS ZECTOR? OR DO I HAVE TO CHANGE TO?
— Zector the Zone Cop (@ZectorCop) August 23, 2012
Perhaps realizing the position to which they’ve staked themselves, Sega replies thusly, to a presumably adult person pretending to be a Sonic the Hedgehog character that has existed only within an Archie Comic book.
@ZectorCop if you are representing a character, then yes, any account needs to be listed as unofficial. Sorry!
— SEGA (@SEGA) August 23, 2012
Other fans and cosplayers notice the slapfight, and chime in.
Seriously though, that was a douche move by Sega.
— 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐊𝐧𝐮𝐱 (@TheNxbleGeneral) August 23, 2012
@QSKSw Look at what @SEGA is trying to do to @Jet_the_Hawk. Even if it IS just trolling, they took it a bit too far. O_o
— Liam (@Vahkiti) August 23, 2012
Now Tails is upset and wants the bickering to stop.
(Jeeez, we all know he's not the "real" Jet, he's just a dude out here to have fun like the rest of us. Is that such a crime?)
— Miles Prower (@twinTornadoes) August 23, 2012
Meantime, Jet is doing battle with the The Blue Blur himself—though this guy is careful to flag his Twitter account with the (RP) tag that Sega asked for. He accuses Jet of listing his Twitter with the blue checkmark that signifies an official account.
@Jet_the_Hawk (not sure what happened and why your all calling @SEGA a doche just cuz they asked you to remove the official checkmark, why?)
— Sonic (@SpeedyBlur) August 23, 2012
Jet replies:
@SpeedyBlur ((I never said I was official, not once. Nice job missing the entire situation and being an ass.))
— Jet the Hawk (@Jet_the_Hawk) August 23, 2012
Sonic then backs off:
@jet_the_hawk ((uh-no i checked but im on mobile so i cant tell if its an official account or not but someone i trust told me))
— Sonic (@SpeedyBlur) August 23, 2012
Jet extracts an apology from Sonic:
((really that is prolly the only time youll see me apoligize))
— Sonic (@SpeedyBlur) August 23, 2012
Sega tries to extricate itself with this:
@Jet_the_Hawk Sorry for any confusion, no issue with the RP side of things, just need either an RP or Unofficial tag. We love and support RP
— SEGA (@SEGA) August 23, 2012
But the coda to this needless psychodrama is supplied by @HipsterMordecai, who reminds everyone that Sega complains about what Nintendon’t.